When we left the beach, it almost felt weird to be wearing clothes again. After all, we'd been naked for most of the day. We'd been so free and so open that even my t-shirt and shorts felt uncomfortable.
Chad didn't say a word till we got in the car. But as soon as we shut the car doors, he seemed to be dying to talk. "Dude," he said, "holy shit! That was something else. I can't believe we just did that, I mean...."
I waited for him to finish his sentence, but he didn't. "So you enjoyed it?"
"Well yeah, I mean it was hot. I-I guess it's just, you know...."
"It's just what?"
He paused. "Well, I shouldn't... no, don't worry about it."
"Whatever's on your mind, you can say it."
Chad licked his lips. "That Middle Eastern guy's dick felt totally different from yours. And so did the other guy's. I-I mean, I liked them... but they weren't what I was used to." He swallowed hard. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised?"
"Well, my dick isn't exactly the only one out there...."
"I know." Chad was about to turn the car on, but then he hesitated. "I mean, I knew you were into this stuff in porn. I didn't really get why it turned you on so much, at least not at first. But after this... woah."
"You really liked it that much?"
"Don't get me wrong," he said. "Your dick is the one I want to come home to. It's just...."
"You want to experiment."
"Well, like I said, I don't want to fuck this up. I-I, well, we'd need to do it right." He finally turned the ignition. "But yeah, it was fun. And kind of kinky. So I'm up for more if you are."
I could feel myself getting hard at that thought. But I also had my share of nerves. "Yeah," I said. "I guess I feel the same way."
It only took a few minutes to get back to Chad's house. As soon as we did, we both went online and started looking for advice. A few websites had tips, but others just said to "do what's right for you"-- which was nice I guess, but not especially useful.
I, for one, was trying to walk a fine line. I didn't want to go back to my slut phase; I felt like I'd learned my lesson and put that stuff behind me. But I could tell Chad wanted to broaden his horizons, which I wasn't opposed to, partly because I did like showing him off.
After much discussion, we agreed on some basic ground rules. First, we'd always do this stuff together; we'd only invite others if both of us agreed. And we'd always wear protection, at least with the other guys. We didn't want to risk developing feelings for our hookups, so we'd keep them as anonymous as possible. The trick, of course, was how to pull all that off.
"You know," Chad said, "you do still have a Grindr account, don't you?"
"I guess so," I said. "I haven't used it in forever, but... I mean, if you want to give it a shot...."
"We might as well use it. Unless you've got a better idea."
I shrugged. "Where are the good gay bars around here?"
"Hell if I know. I didn't exactly hang out there in high school. I would guess they're probably in Hillcrest, but I'd be the wrong guy to ask...."
I was about to respond, but then I heard a knock. "Hello?" came Mrs. Collins's voice. "Are you boys decent?"
Shit
, I thought,
what a cock block
.
Chad shut his laptop. "We're fine, Mom. Come in."
Mrs. Collins opened the bedroom door, and she stuck her head inside. "Well," she said, "it looks like you've been keeping yourselves busy."
Chad acted like we were just shooting the breeze. "We're cool," he said. "We were just down by Mission Bay."
I didn't think that was the beach's name, but I wasn't about to say anything. I just went with his story.
"I need to RSVP to the benefit next week. Did you boys want to go?"
I blinked. "Benefit?"
Chad shook his head. "It's this thing for military families. Mom's on their board of directors. They always do their big shindig on New Years. But it's boring as hell: mostly just rich people drinking champagne."
"Well, I'll still need need to be there," she said. "Scott, you're invited too."
I looked at Chad. "I... well, I'm fine with whatever."
"We'll stay here, Mom."
"If you're sure," she said. "Just don't get into trouble like that brother of yours."
Chad and I exchanged glances. "We won't."
"And I don't want you making yourself scarce," she said. "I want to spend quality time with you. Considering I don't get to see you that often."
"Aw jeez--"
"It's true," she said. "If this isn't the time for family, what is?"
I felt a pang of guilt as she said it. After all, as she'd pointed out before, I was a guest in her house. Even Chad was really there to see her and Patrick. It didn't seem right for us to be looking for dick-- at least not at that moment.
The guilt trip worked, because we spent the rest of that day together. Mrs. Collins un-grounded Patrick, at least for the time being, so I got to see all their family dynamics in action. Their Christmas traditions did throw me off, because they were nothing like mine: among other things, they hired someone to put up their decorations, which were all bland and generic. Still, despite their quirks, they did have a weird affection for each other.
I kept trying to figure out Patrick. On the one hand, he was clearly smarter than I'd realized. At one point we went to see
A Christmas Carol
onstage, and he started talking about the Victorian Era. I eventually found out his dad was a history buff, so he and Chad had been raised on a diet of books and documentaries.
At the same time, the dude could be a total tool. On Christmas Eve, we were out having dinner, and Mrs. Collins left to use the bathroom. While she was gone, Patrick had the balls to ask: "so which of you is the woman?"
"The woman?" Chad asked.
"Well you know, if you're getting it on--"
"In a gay relationship, there isn't any woman," Chad said. "That's kind of the point."
I couldn't help noticing Chad's choice of words. This was the closest he'd come to saying he was gay.
"You know what I mean," Patrick said.
"You mean bottoming?"
"What the hell is that?"
"It means getting it up the ass," Chad asked. "And if you really want to know, we like to mix it up. The word for that is versatile."
