When I woke up the next morning, I was surprised to find myself alone in my bed. Chad had disappeared and had taken his stuff with him.
Shit
, I thought. At first I wondered if that night had been a dream. Then I realized it was real, although I hated the thought of Chad sneaking out. Finally I looked at my phone, and I saw he'd left me a text.
That was awesome dude
, it read.
See you on Friday.
I practically felt my heart skip a beat. I wanted to text him right back, but then I wondered if I should. Finally I sent him a quick acknowledgment—
Cool man, see you then
— but otherwise I acted like nothing had happened.
I tried to mind my own business that day, but I couldn't stop thinking about what we'd just done. I probably couldn't have concentrated regardless, because my classes that morning were boring as shit. I spent my econ theory class wondering about all the guys around me.
Have they ever fucked other dudes?
I kept thinking. We were in one of those big lecture halls, so I figured there had to be at least a hundred guys around me. With that big of a crowd, there had to be a few who had done it.
How well did they like it?
was my next question, then
would they do it again?
I was at lunch when I noticed my skin still smelled of conditioner. I suddenly realized I'd never really cleaned myself off. I wanted to take a shower, but I was on the other side of campus, so I wouldn't get a chance to do it anytime soon. I looked around and wondered if anyone around me could figure out my secret. Part of me prayed that they couldn't, but another part of me loved the naughtiness of it all.
My afternoon classes were all Gen Ed courses, so I didn't much care about the lectures. I kept zoning out and secretly checking out the guys. I felt my boner pressing up against my desk, but I positioned myself so no one else could see it.
By and by I realized I'd been ignoring the girls.
What the fuck?
I thought. There seemed to be a smorgasbord of hot girls around me, with big tits, round asses, and anything else a horny guy could ask for. But somehow they didn't do it for me, at least not at that moment.
That night, when I got back to my dorm, I tried especially hard to catch Chad in the shower. He'd always seemed to show up around nine o'clock, so I got there a few minutes early, and I tried to act casual.
I took my time shaving. I not only shaved my stubble, but I trimmed my eyebrows, and I even made sure my hairline was even. I was tempted to trim my pubes and my ass, but I didn't really know what I was doing down there. I did make sure all my fingernails were clipped, and I even trimmed my toenails while I was at it.
As I did, I kept an eye on my mirror. I could see the showers behind me, and a steady stream of guys kept coming into the room. They seemed to come in all shapes and sizes, and some were better-looking than others.
I
knew I had to keep moving, or else I'd seem weird. I turned toward the showers and started taking off my clothes. I felt even more naked than usual, knowing my chest was in full view, and knowing it was still smeared with dried cum, though I doubted anyone could tell. My ass was on full display too, and my cock and balls dangled beneath me for everyone to see.
Part of me felt like an exhibitionist, but another part felt like a voyeur. Four other guys were standing there naked, all doing their own thing. Another half-dozen guys were in various states of undress. None of them cast an eye in my direction.
My crotch started to stir, but I knew I couldn't afford to get hard. I closed my eyes and forced myself to think of something else. Algebra was the driest subject I could think of, so I did some basic equations in my head. I showered as fast as I could— I basically just washed my hair and cleaned off my crotch— then wrapped my towel around my waist and hurried back to my room.
Dammit
, I thought,
what a waste
. After all that anticipation, Chad hadn't even shown up. I was tempted to call him, but I didn't want to freak him out. So I spent the rest of that night alone; I just jacked off to porn and counted the hours for Friday to come.
The
Kap Eps always threw the biggest parties on the Row. All the sororities were invited, so by the time I got there, the place was crawling with girls. Most of our other frat brothers were there, but Chad was nowhere in sight.
I'd just sat down on the couch, nursing a cup of Two-Buck Chuck, when a blonde came stumbling over. "I am so wasted," she said. Then she plopped down beside me.
"That didn't take you long," I said.
"So what's your name?"
"Scott," I said. "You?"
"Kaylee," she said. She looked down at my arms. "You must work out a lot."
"I try," I said.
"I think you're hot."
I blinked. I'd never been hit on by a girl, and I didn't know to react. "Which house are you in?"
"Does it matter?" she asked.
I probably would've been into this if it had happened a few weeks earlier. But at that moment, I couldn't get my mind off Chad. I felt like I'd waited so long to see him, and now I expected him to show up any minute.
A redhead walked over. "Kaylee, your boyfriend's outside."
"Aw shit," Kaylee said. She shot me a drunken smile. "I guess that means I'm busted!" She pulled herself off the couch, leaned on her friend, and went stumbling away.
I looked over at Luke, who was standing by the door. "Shit," I said. "Just my luck."
Luke shrugged. "The party's just getting started," he said.
I finished my drink and headed back to the kitchen. The house was filling with people, but I hardly knew any of them, so I might as well have been alone.
I poured myself a shot, and I looked out at the patio. The party was quite a bit wilder out there. Girls were running around, throwing water balloons at each other, and screaming when the balloons hit their targets. It looked like a wet t-shirt contest: a lot of the girls weren't wearing bras, so their tits bounced around freely, and a lot of their nipples shone through their shirts.
"Humph," came a voice. I turned around and saw Ryan and Marcos behind me.
"Dude," I said, "that doesn't do anything for you?"
Marcos shrugged. "Not for now," he said. "Maybe if the guys start running around—"
"When did you realize that?" I asked. "I mean, about not liking girls?"
Ryan and Marcos looked at each other. At first I thought I'd gone too far, but they both seemed cool about it. "Well," Ryan said, "I always knew I was gay, what they call a gold star. Although I got a lot of shit for it growing up."
"Gold star?"
"I'm a hundred percent gay. I've never been with a girl."
"Oh," I said. I was learning new lingo all the time.
"Me, I always assumed I was straight," Marcos said. "I dated girls in high school, but then I slept with the team quarterback... and that's how I knew."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that," he said. "They say your first time is supposed to be awkward, but for me it wasn't. I loved it so much I never went back."
I nodded. I wasn't sure what to think about that. As far as I was concerned, Chad and I were just hooking up. After all, hookups happened all the time on campus, so they weren't exactly a big deal. At the same time, I was feeling kind of anxious, and I was annoyed that Chad still wasn't there.
Chad finally showed up around ten. By then, the party was hitting its stride. Practically everyone was drunk, and the first few couples had already fucked in the basement.
"Where the hell have you been?" were the first words out of my mouth. "There's no way your lab could've taken that long—"
"Dude," he said, "I've been busy."
"Doing what?"
"You really want to know?"
"You said you were going to be here, so I don't know what took you so long—"
"Check this out," he said. He reached into his backpack and pulled out a piece of paper.
I didn't know what to make of it at first. The paper was full of letters and numbers, and I couldn't tell what they meant. But then I saw a notation that said
HIV NEG
.
"I got tested," he said. "It's a clean bill of health."
I wasn't sure how to respond. "Congratulations," was all I could say.