"Well Dear, just think of that lonely sex-starved porn-using guy. When he logs on to watch you sucking cock, he's fingering his hungry hard-on as he's watching you on-screen. Think of him, you've got to work for him, make him imagine that you're on your knees between his legs, that there's nothing you want to do more in the entire world than to get his cock in your mouth and give it the sucking of his life. That's it, crouch with your legs splayed so the camera can focus on your excited cock, so it can see the way it bobs as your head goes up and down, that's it. Now take it deep... ugh, I realise when you're doing this fun-stuff with your boyfriend you just take it deep then do lots of intimate tongue-stuff, but the camera can't see that, so on-film you take it deep, then slowly pull back, bit by bit, not all the way, leave the glans in your mouth, but just so they can perv in and see just how much you're taking, so it makes them gasp, then slide it all the way back in. Looking into the lens. Make it personal, for him, the viewer..."
"No hands, just mouth and cock, nothing to interrupt the sightlines. Make little pleasured noises to show you love doing it. Wriggle your bum so your cock and balls sway and jiggle, c'mon, squirm for me boy, let's see those bollocks bounce. The trick is to make him feel that you're giving him the blow-job, that you're performing on him, so it gets him off. You're the slut-guy gone bad, the answer to his dirtiest dreams and fantasies. You want his spunk in your throat. And don't make it seem too easy. You're enjoying this, but you're enjoying it because his cock is so big that you're having to strain, it's a little too big for comfort, but that's how you like it... right? And when that pervy porn-using guy spunks-off he has to believe it's your mouth tight around his cock, slurping it down greedily. That guy, and all the others. You're sucking a hundred guys, maybe more, they're all coming in your mouth. That's the way it is... If they like the online taster, they'll use their credit-card to download the whole movie."
His words have an undeniably arousing effect. It gets easier. After a full twenty-minutes with the same cock permanently in my mouth, sliding back and forth, all the way into my gullet, then back until just the slimy glans is inside me, but never for a moment leaving the warm cavity of my mouth, I gain confidence. It's snug, warm and familiarised. It's dribbling wet with my saliva. It's no longer strange or unnatural. It's familiar, intimate. That's what this is all about, familiarising me with it, breaking down my resistance – what little resistance I have left. Bizarre to think with what trepidation I'd reacted to Paul's first sexual approaches in his apartment so recently, yet here I am, so soon afterwards, taking cock like a seasoned Gay Porn professional. Perhaps I really do have an aptitude for these skin-games? But judging by the persistent strength of François' erection, by the force of the copious river of hot fluid he ejaculates across my up-turned face, and by the way he gets me to lick and suck his spermy glans clean, I've a suspicion François gains more from the session than I do.
"You know Dear" he says conversationally as I lick the last gooey white blobs from the tip of his wilting cock. "I'll let you into a trade secret that few know. Since the very origins of porn film – not just gay-film but straight as well, when the guy can't muster up enough spunk for the final money-shot, when he can't make it look good, they use egg-white, spattering it onto the face of the up-turned cock-sucker as though it's a rich deluge of fresh sperm."
He laughs conspiratorially. "Porn-viewers like to see a generous amount of spunk, you know. And raw egg-white makes a convincing substitute. But I'll level with you. The team we've got here, I've never had to resort to that. With Pierre and Jacque, when they cum, they shoot copious amounts, as you've found out. No problem there. Jean-Claude too, his ejaculations are endless, a wonder and a joy to behold. You know, in many ways, you're lucky to be a part of this project..."
I emerge in a hot fug of arousal with a slightly-bruised lower lip.
Paul is waiting for me, with a sympathetic and encouraging smile. "François gives each newbie some intense oral tuition. We've all benefited from his personal attentions" he tells me. Then he comically adds "Dirty Perv" in a way that makes me laugh out loud.
By now the equipment is set up and the crew are ready. I'm nervous. But once begun, the filming goes ahead in a blurry fug of highly-sexed bodily arousal. Details merge into one another confusingly. I remember Jacque's rigid cock on my mouth, his wrinkled-foreskin sleeve pulled back, and Pierre's cock up my ass, then the other way around. The more it goes on the more it effects me, the more my body reacts to it, the more I want. But after the initiation I'd endured on the journey here, with Pierre and Jacque in the glade by the stream, I was physically and psychologically prepared for anything. The fluttering butterflies in my gut drowned by the spunk I've inadvertently swallowed. At odd moments I look up and catch a vision of the old Comte and Raphe, his manservant, sitting in a corner watching it all going on, a curious expression on his face midway between longing and regret, memories and yearning. Then we watch the playback rushes at the end shooting, and I can't believe what I'm seeing. Did I do that? Did I really do that? Yes, it's undeniably there on screen.
During a lull in filming that afternoon, still nude but free of their lecherous attentions, Paul and I sit together laughing. When he offers to trim my pubic hair I stand and allow him to.
"When did you...? Y'know, start doing this?" I ask him as he holds my cock to one side to snip stray strands.
"I've been gay since before I knew there was a word for it" he smiles openly, kissing the tip of my glans prettily. "Sometimes I think there was a homosexual agenda at Grand Ecole, where we showered together after games. The big-cocked boys swaggering and showing off. The small-cocked boys hiding behind their towels. The rest of us just taking notes, eyeballing each other's genital set-up, compare and contrast, thinking 'yes, I like that one, oh – not so sure about that one, and ah, that one's really scary.' The master knowingly watches us going into the shower-stall limp, and coming out perky after the furtive tweaks and fondles. He must have been aware what was going on. I soon had a crush on a dishy boy a year older than me, I'd have done anything for him. Once he found out, he took advantage of that, and had me doing pretty much everything for him, sexually, if you know what I mean? Did he fancy me? I doubt it, he just took advantage of my infatuation to get his cock regularly sucked. I was only too happy to oblige. Crouching down with his luscious cock halfway down my gullet I considered myself the luckiest boy in school. Believe me, no-one loves cock more than an infatuated gay-boy."
"Later, a family friend, Uncle Vanya had a gité in Normandy near to a naturist beach. I'd stay with him for long weekends, we'd exercise nude, bathe nude, then each evening we'd fuck. I loved every minute of it, couldn't get enough. I could tell you more, I might tell you, if there's time, later. How we watched and rated the bare bottoms on the beach. How his 'friend' stayed over with us, and they took turns tossing me off, competing to see who could make me come first. Stuff like that. I sometimes think my mother knew, that she'd intuited my orientation, and wanted me to be sexually guided by a trusted and reliable friend, that if I was going to be out there doing it, she'd rather I was out there doing it with someone she knew to be safe, although she might not have realised quite how rigorously he pursued my erotic education. Or how enthusiastically I responded. My mother was always so caring and solicitous upon my return, 'was I alright? had I enjoyed myself?' 'It was wonderful' I always told her, truthfully, my bottom still tingling, the taste of his come still in my mouth."
"And you've been with lots of guys since...?"
"I've had my share, why? Are you jealous of the thought of me with other men?"
I turn away confused. "No, of course not, I just wondered...?"
"Are you fishing for flattery? What is it you want me to say exactly? You want me to say you're special, that you're the best? Well, it's true that I like you, and I enjoy having sex with you, I look forward to doing more stuff together... is that alright? Is that enough for you, at least for now?"
He seems to enjoy my blustering. I'm not even sure of myself anymore. Looking down I admire his handiwork, yes, my pubic bush does look tidy, kind-of strange and oddly arousing. He smiles at me, and I smile back.
--- 0 ---
Meanwhile, with rest and recuperation periods, the filming continues. We do four short movies during the weekend, two on the Saturday, two on the Sunday. Before each new shooting begins François slips us the pills. We purge, and massage lubricants into each other's anal orifices. When Paul's close attention to my bum becomes a little too intimate François slaps his hand away with the rebuke "save that for the cameras":
FILM 1:
An antique pocket-watch shows 12:00. Close-up of Jacque's engorged cock sliding up my tender bottom. He fucks me in the shade of a copse of trees.