Even as I watch, there's a deep moist groaning and a slurpy gurgle, the his eyes widen into a startled stare, and I know exactly what's happening. The other two guys look up from their magazines and laugh. And at that moment I'm jealous of him. Almost without realising it, I've been associating myself with the cock-sucker, not the man being sucked. I want to do that. I want to experience the pleasure he's experiencing. I want to be the centre of attention like he is.
But Roly is patient. It's only later, on my second visit that I'm 'paired', pushed together with a guy I don't really know. At Roly's urging we undress, checking each other out naked and shy, smirking in the way that late-teen youths do, discovering his body and him discovering mine, yes - he's got a nice big cock. We're touching and feeling-up, I tense to crouch down and lick the rubbery tip of his inflamed cock, then we're sixty-nining there on the rug before the fire as Roly watches. First we lie side by side. I'm clumsy and fumbling, reaching out for him, wriggling myself closer, but it's amazingly good. Once begun, it's impossible to stop. I love the vulgar sensation of his smooth warm cock pulsing in my mouth, especially when we move around so he's lying over me pinning me down, fucking my mouth, his fat balls flopping across my nose with each down-thrust, even more than the exquisite sensation of his wet mouth moving tightly up and down on my own achingly-hard cock.
When the convulsions of my orgasm begin he moves his head away so that it spurts up my stomach in long white streaks, but when he cums, pressing down hard so he's spasming directly into my mouth, there's no escape, even if I'd wanted to, and it seems the most natural thing in the world to swallow. Getting up smiling bashfully at him afterwards in a self-satisfied way, wiping a trickle of spunk from my chin. Roly is observing, he obviously realises he's gained an eager new recruit for his games.
Looking back now, I guess I was something of a push-over. I wasn't much good at anything, and wasn't used to being praised, so when Roly says I'm a good cock-sucker I positively glow with smug pride, eager and willing to prove myself. At home I lie awake that night thinking over and over again how good it feels, reliving each moment, getting erect, imagining what more there is. Once I've had one guy's cock in my mouth I start into wondering what it will be like to have others there, if they'll feel different... so I naturally feel compelled to find out. Some men go to his house once - and never again. I go numerous times, compelled to return again and again, addicted to the cock-play each time I'm there.
I remember the sweet dirty excitement and anticipation of knocking on his door... scared and nervous when he invites me in. But wearing only T-shirt and tight faded jeans, to ease the speed of undressing. Once in Roly's twilit front room, self-conscious as I tug my T-shirt up and off, then shrugging my pants down, knowing that the others already there are watching me, checking me out. I've never been ashamed of my body. I'm skinny and slightly-built, but my cock is a little over average size, not the biggest I've ever seen, but a respectable length. And the nervous embarrassment seems to disappear with my clothes, once I'm naked with nothing to hide - and always erect, I'm free and ready. I've always been the shy outsider, the awkward tongue-tied misfit who finds it difficult to make friends. This is a place I can belong. This is a place that exists outside of normality, where anything can happen, and rules no longer apply. It lasts for the best part of a year, sometimes twice a week, an hour each time, sometimes more when time allows, seldom less. Then I'll go a fortnight without a visit, when the intensity of it overwhelms and scares me. I try to stay away. Try to resist the temptation to return. But it's impossible to fight that dark urging. Everybody knows it as the 'Cock Club', and I'm an upstanding member.
There's a quiet dark-haired guy called Neil a couple of years older than me - maybe twenty-five. He's sometimes here. I like him - although I can never bring myself to tell him. I always like it when he's here. I follow him around and smile in an infatuated goo-goo-eyed way, hoping I'll get the opportunity of sucking his nice big circumcised cock. Then he sprawls back on the mattress on the floor, and I crawl in between his splayed knees before anyone else can. He's amused by my eagerness, but once my lips close around the fat arrowhead of his cock, I try to communicate by using my tongue and my mouth on him the best way I possibly can, taking him deeper and sucking more greedily than anyone else does. He grunts deep in his throat, and has a way of holding my head in tight when he cums in my mouth that makes me feel so safe and protected. I love that.
Although Roly says I must never show favouritism, and suck all cocks equally. But Neil is my favourite, I'd gratefully suck him off anytime he wants me to, but we only ever do it here. And honestly, why should he be interested in me in any way other than as a spunk-dump? They're not Gay... not Queer, most of these guys just come here to get off, for hard raw uncomplicated sex. And me? I don't know. I'm an emotional mess, churned up inside by the sweet intoxication of sensations I don't understand. This is an anonymous place. What happens here, stays here. Roly merely provides the excuse for us to be here, and for me to do it.
'Cocks are for sucking, ass-holes are for fucking' he tells us, then watches as we follow these instructions. Sometimes there are just two of us here playing, sucking each others cocks. At most - as I recall, there are six of us, and I get a special 'gift' for sucking each of their cocks in turn. At first I pretend to be reluctant, but secretly I'm loving the attention. We are all naked, they're sitting on the stained couch as I crouch on the rug. Dipping my head in to slide the first cock into my mouth, suck... then shuffle across to the next. My face burning with breathless excitement, it feels so daring, that they're all ready for me, all hard and impatient for me, all their lust and sexual desire focussed on me. They want me. My own hard cock jiggling and swaying as I crouch down in between the next splayed legs to plunge the next erection deep into my mouth. As I slurp, I get vivid flashbacks of seeing that first blow-job on my first visit, how that guy's eyes were glazed over in a kind of dazed blurry pleasure as though in a trance. My face must look like that now. There's a lot of breathless laughter and some nervous excitement as I go from one to the next. Once I've tasted each one, I move back to the first, and because we're all very sexed-up, there's soon a lot of spurting spunk. Gulping and swallowing. Afterwards, the images storm my mind, cock after cock, the cloying taste in my mouth, the blood roaring in my head, like I'm drunk or high. This isn't a sophisticated LA poolside porn-shoot, this is a grimy house in a northern-England sink-estate. This is sweat-dirty and real. This is me doing this.
