The dimly lit room only added to my fear of what I was to endure over the next two hours. I had been communicating online with several people who were interested in talking about sex. I had succumbed to a weakness of talking with strangers on-line. This obsession had begun years earlier when I discovered I could chat on-line anonymously with people who were interested in kinky sex. It started with the usual male/female chats. These were pretty vanilla but over time the chats became increasingly graphic and darker. Like a moth drawn to a flame, I became more and more seduced by what appeared to be "harmless" fun.
A married man, I successfully hide my on-line chats from my wife. She thought anything outside of the missionary position in the bedroom was kinky, dirty sex. Keeping my secret activity that started before I met her became a secret challenge. So far, I had succeeded.
Deluded with a false sense of self-confidence, I continued my chats. It was easy because my wife's work as an auditor for a major CPA firm often required her to be out-of-town two or three days a week. She liked the work but it had affected our relationship. With an office job I was at work every day at 8:00 and usually home by 6:00 that evening. There were several infrequent business trips each year but for the most part I was home.
One evening I got on-line and started looking for a new chatroom. The ones I usually visited were becoming boring with the same old chats by the same old people. Googling for adult chat rooms, I Stumbled across a site called, "Meet Special People". The description of this site read:
"Meet new people who are uninhibited and very open minded. They are exciting and not restricted by old ideas. Frank and honest talk is what this site is about."
While many of these sites are nothing special, I decided to try this one just for something new. After the usual registration, determining a username (Jam1234), and agreeing to the terms of the site, I signed in. My initial impression was that this was just like any other site. But I typed in "Hi, I am new here". Within a few seconds I received a text from "FUFred".
FUFred: Welcome Jim1234, I see you are new here. I like to chat with new people and help them learn about this group.
Jim1234: Thank FUFred, yes, I am new. I stumbled across this site tonight and would try this one. How long have you been on here?
FUFred: I have been here for about 3 years. It is a great place to meet people who like to think outside the box or think about the box if you please. You will meet some interesting people.
At that point several other people texted welcome messages and tried to start a conversation. At that point FUFred sent another text.
FUFred: Before you chat with everyone it is probably a good idea for you and I to have a private chat so I can guide through all the do's and don't' of "Meet Special People". Here is my personal chatroom.
Jam1234: Thank you I will click on your link
FUFred: This makes chatting more personal and allows for open, uninhibited talk about very personal, private things. I am a psychologist by profession, so I apply my code of ethics to everyone I chat with in this private space. Anything someone shares with me will never leave this chatroom. I want you to be free to share whatever you want to talk about. Is that ok?"
Jam1234: Yes, that is a bit different from some of the other chatrooms I have been on.
FUFred: How long have you been chatting adult chatrooms?
Jam1234: It has been at least 4 years on and off.
FUFred: What do you like to chat about?
Jam1234: Anything and everything about sexual relationships. I find what people think and do very interesting.
FUFred: Does interesting also mean arousing?
Taken back by the question I wasn't certain how to answer. At that point FUFred sent another text.
FUFred: I understand that my question might make you embarrassed or uneasy. Let me share some of my experience based upon both my professional life and time on this site. Most all people have sexual fantasies that they keep secret. They do that because of fear of being criticized or worse being thought of as a pervert of some type. In fact all people have these secrets. Men and woman have them. It is those personal fantasies that fill their imagination when they relieve their sexual tension by masturbating. For many the desire to act out their fantasies becomes stronger until they either try to experience them or they attempt to bury them. The burial approach usually leads to frustration, anger, and often miserable relationships. Does that make sense?
Jam1234: Well, yes, I guess so.
FUFred: I have a client that spent years and a great deal of money trying to bury his fantasies. Nothing worked and he became increasing miserable. Then we met. After a few short sessions, he became liberated. Those so-called dark desires were experienced and he I much happier today. Also his relationship with his spouse changed for the better.
Jam1234: That sounds amazing how did he do that?
FUFred: It was a simple matter of allowing him to believe, which is true, that his fantasies were not unique, strange, or perverted. By sharing them with me a heavy burden was lifted. His experiencing them allowed the final break with the chains of his past repression.
Jam1234: That sounds complicated to me. Where did he begin?
FUFred: Let's do an experiment Ok?
Jam1234: Sure
FUFred: Since you know everything shared here is confidential tell me what is your sexual fantasy.
That question stopped me. I was reluctant to share that.
Jam1234: I don't know.
FUFred: Nice try but I know the truth and so do you. You have sexual fantasies. How do I know that? The fact that you go into chatrooms to speak to others indicates you are searching for something. Let me ask you are your married and how is your sex life, if you are?
