Catching Feelings

As the spring semester started, court dates were starting to be set. The civil suit would end up beginning after the criminal trial, which was honestly how the prosecutor, Holden Briar, preferred it. They had a few meetings with him prior to the trial beginning, so he could explain how things would go and who he was calling to the stand.

Most of their group had worked to make sure their classes could be taken online, so they would be prepared for the trial. By the end of February, Jasper's lawyer couldn't postpone things anymore with legal paperwork, and so the trial was officially beginning. They traveled out to New York, staying in Ethan's family home again. His parents were busy with engagements so they didn't really see them much, but Ethan was happy to have the rooms ready for everyone.

By the first day of trial, everyone had their good clothes in their closets and ready to go. Jeremy was dressed in a three piece suit in a navy blue, with a dark pinstripe tie. He didn't add any sort of embellishments to the suit like he might for an event, though he did style his hair so it wouldn't get into its normal messy state.

The other men also wore suits, while Chloe had chosen some modest pant suits in muted colors for the courtroom. The press was there taking photos as soon as they got out of the car. Jimmy was beside Jeremy, holding his hand as they went into the court, and Jeremy knew that by the afternoon, both their names would be all over the blogs. He couldn't worry about that right then though.

This was the first time Jeremy had seen Jasper since the attack at the event. They saw each other in the hallway as they got through security. Jasper stopped to watch them and Jeremy kept his eyes ahead, focused away from Jasper as he walked into the courtroom to speak with Holden before things began. They were led out before things began, as those who were going to be giving testimony couldn't watch the trial until their own testimony was over with.

Holden Briar called on the smaller testimonies first, wanting to leave Jeremy until later. He had some of the doctors testify as to the injuries and lasting effects, as well as Jeremy's therapist who he had given permission to testify. She spoke about the symptoms she had been seeing in Jeremy, including the nightmares that mostly wouldn't stop and the symptoms of PTSD.

He called on the people who witnessed many of the events as well, like Chloe and Ethan, so they could hear the events from their point of view as well as what they saw during the relationship.

"Was Mr. Montgomery aware you and your friend Mr. Morrow knew of their relationship?" Holden asked Chloe.

"No," she replied with a shake of her head.

"Why not?" Holden asked.

"Jeremy was afraid of what his reaction would be," Chloe explained. "Every once in a while when we would get to see him, he'd have bruises, but he just explained it away as rough sex."

They also called on Ryder so he could speak about what happened during the suicide attempt and how he saw the press and what Jasper had said to the press affected Jeremy. Then he called on Jimmy, as he had witnessed quite a few events as well as the aftermath that had occurred.

The trial was being filmed and broadcasted, though the people who were going to testify weren't to watch any of it until after they were done. It killed Jeremy that he couldn't be in there while Jimmy testified, but he didn't have a choice. The others were there, though.

They brought Jimmy in, calling on James Sparks Junior, and having him stand before the chair to swear on the bible that everything he said would be the truth before they asked him to sit down.

Holden came up to the stand, giving Jimmy a kind smile. "Mr. Sparks, can you tell us how you know the defendant in this case?"

"Up until a few months ago, I had no idea who he was. He showed up at college and started following Jeremy around. The first time I ever saw him, he was forcing himself on Jeremy near the bleachers. I was upset but unaware at the time that Jeremy was being assaulted because Jeremy and I were still freshly in a relationship and I was trying to unlearn some negative cultural biases that I had," Jimmy said in response.

Holden went through talking Jimmy through the events of the first incident, the arrest, and then the event at Halloween. Jimmy kept his answers truthful and to the point, giving him the information he was asking for.

Eventually they got to talking about the aftermath of the attack, specifically how bad the injuries ended up being. Holden was careful about how he asked these questions, partly for Jimmy's sake as he knew how hard this was despite needing the information.

"So, when Mr. Thayer started throwing up and you saw blood, you called the ambulance," Holden said to Jimmy. "Did you go with him to the hospital?"

"Yes, I did. It was horrible. I was terrified that he would die before I could tell him the entirety of how I felt about him," Jimmy answered.

"How would you describe the experience of being told that there was internal bleeding and kidney damage?" Holden asked.

"I never wanted to harm another human being in my life but at that moment I wanted to inflict the same damage onto the defendant as he had inflicted on Jeremy. I've done a little research and it looks like we may be dealing with the repercussions of this for the rest of our lives together," Jimmy said, never looking even in Jasper's direction.

"Objection, speculation," Jasper's lawyer, Spencer Walker, called out.

Judge Mann looked over to Holden, who gave an affable smile. "Considering Dr. North's testimony said the same thing, and it was likely what he told Mr. Thayer and Mr. Sparks at the appointment after the testing, I would say that he's speaking from the knowledge he learned from two sources, your Honor."

Judge Mann considered that for a moment and then nodded her head. "Overruled. Continue, Mr. Briar."

They spoke some more of the symptoms Jeremy had been having before they saw the nephrologist, and how all of this has affected them and their relationship before Holden let him off the stand. Jimmy was able to go and sit with their friends in the gallery. They took a recess for the night, and went back to where they were staying, as Jeremy would be called to testify the next day, and would likely be on the stand for multiple days.

Jimmy's mother called to chat, letting him know she was proud of him for standing up for his boyfriend and supporting him. Cathy texted him, something about asking Jeremy for a loan. He blew her off and ignored her messages. He was surprised not to hear something similar from his father, but the old drunk might not even be aware of the trial yet.

The next day, everyone went to get their seats in the gallery before the judge came into the room. Judge Mann motioned for Holden to continue his side of the case and he stood up, coming into the front of the room at the microphone.

"The prosecution calls Jeremy Thayer to the stand," Holden said.

Jeremy was led in by one of the bailiffs, and many of the reporters were trying to get a better look at him as he walked in. He kept his head high and didn't look at Jasper at all, though he did nod to the people there to support him before being led to the stand. They had him swear on the bible, like all the others, and then asked him to sit down so he could speak into the microphone so everyone could hear.

"Mr. Thayer, can you tell us how you know the defendant, Jasper Montgomery?" Holden asked him.

"We met at NYU during our undergrad. He's a year older than me, and we were taking a class together, and ended up in some of the same social circles," Jeremy replied calmly. "I had seen him around at society events before, but we hadn't really talked until school."

"And you were in a relationship with the defendant?" Holden continued.

Jeremy waffled a bit on that, scrunching up his face. "Yeah, you could say that. We were in a sexual relationship, and I thought it was a romantic one as well. I thought we were exclusive but I'm questioning a lot of things right now."

"How long were you together?" Holden asked him.

"About a year and a half," Jeremy said, glancing briefly at Jasper before bringing his eyes back to the prosecutor. "It was all in the closet, so no one other than us really knew, though I had confided in Chloe Wright and Ethan Morrow, who I knew could keep their mouths shut with the press."

Holden asked him questions about the relationship, going through the way they were together both in private and public. Jeremy told some examples of the ways he would treat Jeremy with almost contempt in public, as if that would make it much harder to believe that he would have any sort of relationship with Jeremy.

"What brought about the end of the relationship?" Holden asked as he looked up from his notes to look at his witness.

"We chose a spot that was a little too public to meet," Jeremy explained. "Someone saw us. It was exactly the kind of society person you wouldn't want to see you together because they would immediately go to the press, and he did. Jasper told me this was over, and I argued with him, telling him that I would happily be his support if he came out to his family, which was the wrong thing to say."

Holden put his pen down on the lectern he was standing at. "Why do you say that?"

"He got aggressive," Jeremy said, looking out at the gallery but his eyes weren't focused on anything. "Violent. He slammed my face into one of the walls we were standing by and told me if I ever spoke to him again, he'd make me regret it, and then left."

"So, the sexual assault and the assault at the charity event weren't the first acts of violence then?" Holden asked.

Jeremy shook his head. "No, they weren't. Usually he kept his violence to the bedroom activities, which was whatever, but that was the first time he really scared me. I blocked him everywhere after that and avoided him on campus."

Holden took Jeremy through the events after, such as Jasper speaking to the press and the suicide attempt. Jeremy spoke about the decision to send him to KSU, where Chloe and Ethan had already been attending school and how that had been going up until Jasper showed up.

The next day they went into the sexual assault, the repercussions of that, the arrest, and then the charity event. It was during this testimony that they played the videos that Chloe had taken, as well as the video at the event. They did not play the blow job part, because it wasn't appropriate for the court, but they did explain it. Jeremy couldn't bring himself to look at Jimmy during any part of that particular section of the testimony, because the guilt of it was still hard to deal with. They all knew why he had done it, but it was still upsetting for him to talk about.

Jimmy looked uncomfortable, hearing about what Jeremy had gone through, especially the physical stuff. The sexual stuff was difficult to hear but he had already resigned himself to the fact that Jeremy probably would have had to do something he'd rather not do with Jasper to get him to admit the truth. That was just how bullies operated.

Jeremy got incredibly emotional talking about the second ER visit. He spent most of it throwing up or out of it, so he could only tell what he remembered, but he had been terrified when they mentioned possible kidney damage and internal bleeding. He told the judge and jury about how he had gone into surgery afraid he wouldn't come out of it alive. He just kept thinking of the people he would be leaving behind, and how he finally felt some hope in a romantic relationship and he didn't want to leave Jimmy like that.

Holden had to bring him a box of tissues, and he gave him some time to pull himself back together. Jeremy was able to talk about the nightmares he had been having, which were usually about the actual attack, or about dying and leaving everyone behind, though he did have constant nightmares of Jimmy being so disgusted with Jeremy and everything that happened that he finally left, telling Jeremy that he didn't deserve love.

Jimmy looked at him sympathetically and when Jeremy made brief eye contact he shook his head to indicate that Jeremy shouldn't worry about that, holding his hands up to his chest and making a heart shape with his fingers and thumbs.

They went into another recess for the night after that, as Holden had told the judge he had no more questions. The next day would start the defense's cross examination of Jeremy. They had been warned ahead of time that Mr. Walker would probably go fairly hard at Jeremy to try and discredit him in any way he could.

That's exactly what he did too. He was trying to find holes in the story, and went particularly hard about the recording they took at the charity event, as well as the actual beating Jasper had taken. It still wasn't public knowledge who had actually harmed him, as Jasper had been surprisingly quiet about that, likely because it had already backfired on him.

Jeremy stayed calm though, correcting statements that just weren't true and clarifying other points. He even admitted that the video and blowjob itself wasn't morally acceptable or appropriate, but that he had felt backed into a corner with nothing else he could do at that point. Mostly, he wanted Jasper to leave him alone and this seemed to be the only way to do that.

"But you know who actually attacked Mr. Montgomery?" Mr. Walker asked.

Jeremy considered that for a moment. "I have my guesses, yes. The person who Jasper mentioned in the recording hasn't told me outright though."

"But you didn't give that to the police out in Ohio?" Mr. Walker continued as he glared hard at Jeremy.

"I didn't see the assault on him actually happen," Jeremy pointed out. "Anything I could have told the police would have just been conjecture, and I wasn't willing to let the Montgomeries ruin someone's life based on a guess. Besides, Mr. Montgomery specifically named me in his report. If he doubles down on that, as the only other witness besides the person who did it, how are the cops supposed to go against that?"

The questions started to veer towards what could happen to people who were forced out of the closet, which Jeremy had said in earlier testimony that he had been outed by someone close to him and how traumatic it had been. Jeremy had made a comment about never being willing to out someone.

"But isn't that what you are doing to Mr. Montgomery right now?" Mr. Walker asked.

"Objection, your honor," Holden said as he stood up, looking annoyed.

"Actually, I'd like to answer that question," Jeremy said, making everyone turn to look at him.

"Mr. Briar?" Judge Mann asked the prosecutor, looking at him to see what he wanted to do since it was his objection, and she was leaning towards sustaining it.

"One second, your honor," Holden said before turning to Ryder, speaking in low tones with him. "Is your brother reacting emotionally here, or do you think letting him answer is a good idea?"

Ryder looked up to the stand where Jeremy was. Jeremy's stance was fairly calm and he was looking at Ryder now with a look that spoke to him feeling like he was in control of this situation. They looked briefly to Jimmy, who had overheard them because he was right behind the Plaintiff's seats. He nodded to them to indicate that he supported his love.

"Let him do it," Ryder finally said. "If he wants to answer it, it's likely for a reason. Let's see where he takes it."

Holden turned back around and stood up again. "Withdrawn, your honor. Go ahead."

Spencer Walker turned back to Jeremy with a look that reminded him of a cat who caught the canary. "Are you not essentially outing your ex-boyfriend here in the courtroom today?"

"Would the court case be outing Jasper Montgomery? Yes, technically it is," Jeremy admitted, speaking in a clear voice. "Did I set out to purposely out him? No, not at all. In fact, in all of this, I have given him multiple chances to just walk away and he could stay in the closet. I would wish him well and we would never have to really interact ever again.

"I didn't correct him in the papers because I wasn't going to out him. I decided to let myself be the villain and just leave. When he started contacting me, I didn't answer. When he came out to Ohio and assaulted me there, almost ruining my relationship, I told him to go home, and I was never going to speak about it ever again. Honestly, even after he sent the police to arrest me based on lies, if he had dropped the charges or we would have found a way to settle, I would have still walked away.

"I did make the threat in the video about releasing it to the press, but that was more to make sure that he realized I was serious. It was better for both of us, and our families, if that video wasn't released. All I was asking of him was to drop the false charges and never speak to me again. I'd say that's a pretty simple request.

"It only went to the point of no return once I was attacked by him, and honestly, had he simply bashed my head into the wall and hit me once, I probably would have let him walk and not pressed charges. Jimmy only brought up counter-suing after the attack, and I went with it because it was the right thing to do, but I think I might have waffled a bit had the second ER trip not happened, and had my brother made it clear he was not letting me drop the charges considering I almost died.

"So no, Mr. Walker, that's not quite what I am doing here today. I was willing to let everything go, every little bit of abuse and stalking, every single bit of damage done to me and my loved ones, if he had just left me alone. Mr. Montgomery made the choice to try and kill me, and that is why we are here today with him getting outed in the press. The only one who outed him is himself and his own actions."

Jeremy tilted his head as he looked back at the defense attorney. Mr. Walker's smile had completely disappeared and he had pursed his lips together now in annoyance. It hadn't gone the way he was hoping it would. "Does that answer your question?"

"No further questions, your honor," Mr. Walker said and then walked back to the table where Jasper was sitting, his face stoney and hard to read.

Judge Mann looked over to Holden to see if he wanted to redirect, but Holden decided there wasn't any need to, and Jeremy was excused from the stand. With that, the prosecution told the court they were resting. Judge Mann decided they would recess until Monday to give Jeremy a chance to decompress and process everything before the defense started with their side of the case.

Jasper had been escorted out of the courtroom as Jeremy came down to stand near Holden's table. Holden turned to Jeremy with a smile on his face. "That was an impressive answer, Jeremy. Your brother said you're planning to go to law school after this?"

"That's the plan, yes," Jeremy replied.

"If you need a job once you're out, look me up," Holden said with a smile and closed his briefcase. "See you all Monday."

"How do you feel?" Jimmy asked.

"Drained, exhausted, and kind of like I used to be a wet towel that just got wrung out by a machine," Jeremy replied tiredly. "That's basically two years of my life on record now."

Their small group went quiet as Anthony Thayer came over, having watched the entire testimony. He looked at his son with an expression that was sheepish and contrite. "I, uh, didn't realize just how bad everything that you dealt with in that relationship was. Your brother pointed out that if any of that had happened to Scarlett, I would have been out for blood, and he's right. He's also right that it's wrong that I wasn't also out for blood when it happened to you."

"Abusive relationships happen to all kinds of people," Jeremy pointed out. "And it tends to be ignored when it happens to queer people because police and family don't want to get involved."