Can't Hide the Truth Anymore

Gage's POV

I heard the key in the lock and sighed; my roommate was back.

So much for some private time,

I thought and quickly slammed my laptop shut. The last thing I needed was for Devin to catch me looking at gay porn. Well, not really porn... although I probably would have gotten there at some point tonight. Right now I was just browsing pictures of naked men. Hot and sexy naked men. Hot and sexy naked men that looked like my roommate. Damn! I really needed to get off.

The door opened and in walked the very reason of my perpetually aroused state. God, Devin was hot. 6'5", lean, but still solidly built with broad shoulders, long, lean thighs and big, strong hands. He had dark brown wavy hair that he kept short on the sides and fuller on top, allowing it to fall across his forehead. Thick, dark lashes framed those gorgeous deep chocolate brown eyes that could make me shudder with just one look. Even the crooked nose in the center of his face was perfect. He always seemed to have just the shadow of a beard, even though I knew he shaved morning and evening. And those full lips... I ached to taste them just once! Yeah, I've got it pretty bad.

Devin walked in and shot me his trademark grin; the kind of smile you only see in a toothpaste commercial. Seriously, his teeth could light the way for Santa and his reindeer. I had to bite back a groan as my cock twitched and sprang to life.

"Hi," I said, as nonchalantly as I could, as if the sight of him didn't make my heart race and my blood run south.

Devin's eyes twinkled; they always twinkled. "Hey! I thought you were going to be out tonight! Weren't you and Sam headed out to that new sci-fi movie you've been going on and on about?"

"Yeah, we were," I frowned a little. "Sam texted a little while ago. His parents decided to surprise him and showed up on campus for a weekend visit."

"Ouch, for the whole weekend?"

I nodded.

"There goes Sam's weekend, huh? That sucks," he said as he flopped onto his bed, tossing his gym bag to the floor.

I agreed. I had been so pumped to go see it, too. Of course, who wouldn't want to see Matt Damon on a 22' tall screen? The fact that it was a sci-fi movie was just a bonus. I could wait a few more days, though. I had to. Sam was the only friend on campus I had that was into science fiction like I was.

Yes, it's true. I am a sci-fi geek. I can argue the differences between Star Wars and Star Trek for hours. I have a favorite captain, a favorite ship, a Klingon to English dictionary hidden in my closet and a Star Trek poster on my dorm wall (although that was really more because it had actor Chris Pine on it). Okay, so I also have a Star Trek Next Generation captain's uniform hidden in my closet. I've never had occasion to wear it, but someday I would make it to a convention, or participate in some cosplay. For now, it was just another secret desire to keep hidden.

"My plans fell through, too. I think I'm just going to hang in the dorm tonight."

I slid my gaze back to Devin, furrowed my brow. Devin never 'stayed in'. He was out with other basketball players, or cheerleaders or any of the many girls that hung on his every word. No doubt about it, I am not the only one on campus drooling over Devin.

I cleared my throat a little. "Cool." Wow... that was all I had?

Smooth, Gage,

I told myself. Devin smiled back, completely unaware of my inner turmoil.

"Yeah, I need to relax. These mid-terms are kicking my ass. How do you think you did this week?" He grabbed his pillow and punched it some before tucking it under his head.

Devin seemed genuinely interested in my response. This was just one of the things I loved about him. He was so real; he never acted like he was better than anyone else. It didn't matter that he was a great basketball player and was considered BMOC. He made time to get to know you and make you feel important.

"Um... I think I did well, but my mid-term in Statistics class was hard. Not sure I pulled off more than a B. What about you?"

"I think I did okay, but I'm just wiped out. All this studying is going to seriously damage my brain!" He laughed as he tossed a nerf basketball into the mini hoop he had over his dresser before getting up and heading into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

I wasn't sure what to do. Stay in? Go out? God, I am losing my mind. Just a couple of months ago my life was plodding along just fine. Well, not fine... okay, my life kind of sucked, to be honest. Although the first day back on campus had started out great.

When I arrived back at college for my sophomore year I couldn't believe my luck. I had not only been upgraded to a better dorm- one where I only had to share my bathroom with the room on the other side, but even better than that, my roommate from last year had transferred to another college at the last minute.

My freshman year had sucked. My roommate was a Neanderthal. He never picked up anything, left pizza boxes out for weeks and stole my towels all the time. He had also figured out that I was gay and made my life a living hell. He never told anyone, at least not that I was aware of, but he always threatened to. The only way to get him to stay quiet was for me to do most of his homework.

I came out to my family the year I graduated from high school, but I was still unsure if I was ready to tell the world. To be honest, I am a little shy to begin with and hate being the center of attention. I didn't want to be the topic of conversation around campus and I often wondered why it mattered if I told anyone. But, deep down I knew it was important. Not being honest with people about myself could give the impression that I was ashamed or in denial, and nothing was further from the truth. I am proud of who I am. I knew when I was ready I would come out to my friends. So, I admired guys from afar and never dated my freshman year.

When the year came to a close, my roommate (who I now referred to privately as

The Ass

), insisted we room together another year and keep our current "arrangement" about homework going. I reluctantly agreed.

Until I arrived back on campus this year, I had no idea that

The Ass

was not coming back this year. Upon hearing this wonderful news, I did a little celebration dance in my mind. That old song that my mom used to listen to by

Kool & the Gang

played in my head:

Celebrate good times, come on! There's a party goin' on right here...

I was torn from the party in my head when I was informed I was in a different dorm this year and then the best news of all: no roommate for now! I was practically floating on air.

Ce-le-bra-ti-on...Let's all celebrate and have a good time...

It's a distinct possibility that I was also humming along with the song in the elevator at the new dorm, as I finally noticed several people looking funny at me. For once, I didn't care. I was free of

The Ass

and had my own room; I was going to celebrate!

Unfortunately, my private celebration didn't last long. The next morning I awoke to a knock on my door and I reluctantly pulled myself from my bed and padded over the door to open it and ask who the hell was interrupting my beauty sleep. Except that when I did open that door, the sexiest man I had seen in my entire life was smiling down at me, which was enough to break through my sleepy haze.

"Hey there! I'm Devin Walls, your new roomie." He flashed me his smile and I kind of forgot how to speak. I stood there for a while, probably with my mouth hanging open. I was dumbfounded. I was supposed to room with this gorgeous stud?

"Um, can I come in?" Devin asked, looking straight into my eyes.

I nodded, but apparently my brain wasn't working yet, because once again I just stood there. I watched Devin's eyebrows raise and it finally dawned on me that I was standing in the middle of the doorway and unless Devin shoved me aside, my new roomie couldn't get in. I kind of mumbled a 'sorry' and slid to the side to let him in.

"Thanks, sleepyhead." He grinned at me and that's when I realized I was standing in my knit boxer briefs and nothing else. I watched Devin's eyes slide down my chest and stop at the hard bulge. Unfortunately there was just no way to hide it, but I tried anyway and slid my hands in front of my crotch.

Devin laughed. "Must have been some great dream, buddy. Sorry I woke you from it!" At that Devin reached over and ruffled my already mussed hair.

I couldn't help it, I smiled back. My new roommate was being so nice and had even given me an out for my raging hard on, allowing me to keep my dignity. Yeah, I liked him at once.

Over the next few weeks we had really gotten to know each other. We had a lot of the same interests, although Devin wasn't into sci-fi. But he always listened when I talked about it. We both liked basketball, me as a spectator, he as a player, but we could still share the love of the game. When I found out he liked Snicker Bars, I opened my desk drawer and showed him an entire bag of unopened Snickers.

He had laughed and said, "Oh, wow! You know the way to a man's heart, Gage!"

I blushed at that, even though I knew he was just joking around.

We got along so well, he even gave me a nickname: Buzz.

I asked him why he called me that one day.

"You seem to know so much about science fiction and until I met you I didn't even know there was that much out there. And you are the only one that has ever talked about things from science fiction that could be applied to real life." He paused and smiled at me, looking a little embarrassed as he spoke. "You must be the smartest guy I have ever met. You look beyond what is available now in science and think about things that could be available in the future. That's why I gave you that nickname."

I had no idea what he was talking about. "Um, I don't get the connection, dude. Where does Buzz come in?"

He looked surprised. "You know... Buzz Lightyear? From Toy Story?"

"You think I look like Buzz Lightyear?" I asked, incredulously.

He looked at me, his eyes wide. "Crap! No, I'm not explaining it right. You know his phrase? To Infinity and Beyond? That makes me think of you, because you are looking to the future. The infinite future? And...beyond?"

Hmm, I reminded him of a cartoon character. That didn't say much for my sex appeal.

"Okay." I smiled. It was a little weird, but it was sweet, so I let it go and told him good-night as I slipped into bed.

"Night, little buddy."

I had blushed at his words. I didn't have to ask him why he sometimes also called me "little buddy". That was obvious to anyone. At only 5'4" I certainly wasn't going to win any height contests. Add my slender build to that and I am not a large guy by any means. I don't work out like he does, but I do like to run, which gives me some definition in my chest, shoulders and stomach, but nothing like the six-pack on Devin. And where Devin had a lot of dark, thick black hair that covered his pecs and swirled into a trail that disappeared into his boxers, I barely had any hair on my chest. The hair I did have was such a pale blonde, it could be missed if anyone looked quickly.

The hair on my head was the same pale blonde. I wear it a little shaggy, parted on the side and the ends curl up a little. I have some freckles tossed across my pale skin, including my nose and cheeks, but not a lot. I inherited my mother's green eyes and pale skin and my dad's small frame. It was funny that my sister was almost 5'10". I had no idea where it came from. The family joke was that our mom had an affair with the mailman.

But back to the here and now. What was I going to do about tonight? I couldn't spend the whole evening alone with him. In the beginning our friendship had been easy. Natural. But somewhere a little while back, I realized my feelings had changed; I wanted more. I was very attracted to Devin and my nights were filled with lust filled dreams. But it wasn't just the sexual attraction. I liked Devin for who he was. He was a genuine, down-to-earth guy. I'd been pondering coming out to him, and I knew in my heart that he wouldn't judge me, but it would still be hard. I couldn't admit my feelings to him; it was clear Devin was straight.

I sighed. Maybe this was the night to meet my online friend. I opened my laptop again and quickly logged in to the group that I found about a month ago. It was an online group of gay students from this college. It was just a way to talk to others about things we all understood; things straight people may not necessarily deal with. One night recently the topic was

How to Deal with Feelings for a Straight Man.

Oh, yeah, I had participated in that one.

That was the night I met David. He admitted he had it bad for his roommate, too and we immediately bonded. After a couple weeks of talking online, David had brought up the idea of meeting up somewhere. I still remembered the online conversation.

I can't go another day like this! I need to find release! Why did I fall for my roommate?? Maybe if I got laid, I could get past it! I can't keep looking at him and thinking how badly I want to bend him over and take him. Just pound him until he calls my name out over and over!

I had laughed because we were in such similar circumstances.

I know what you mean. Except for me, I keep imagining him bending ME over and taking me.

Oh, yeah? You like the other guy to be in charge? I like to be in charge...

That had led to some sex talk and then he had proposed we get together and "help each other out". I had been a little stunned. I hadn't really thought this friendship could become something like a hook-up.

I had sat there for a little while, mulling it over in my mind. Devin had been on his computer that night working on a project and I snuck a glance at him. It didn't feel right to me to hook-up with someone when I was so into someone else. I couldn't have a one night stand just because I was lonely. I'm just not like that. But, I wouldn't mind a new friend. I finally messaged him back.

Thanks, but I am a virgin. I am little bit of a romantic and just not looking for casual sex. But, if you are looking for a friend, I am up for that.

I hadn't heard from him for a couple of days after that. I realized I had shown how pathetic I was: crazy over a straight guy and turning down sex from another man. Maybe I should have said yes... Maybe I should also get my head examined.

In the end, my online friend agreed and understood. He still wanted to get together, though. In fact he had asked again just this morning. He said his roommate was going to be out and we could hang out in his room if I wanted. I had told him I had plans, so I couldn't, but now that I was stuck in the room for the evening with the man of my dreams, I was rethinking that decision.

I sent David a message through the online group and waited to see if he got it.

Still want to get together tonight?

We hadn't exchanged cell numbers or even what dorms we were in. For all I knew, David lived down the hall.

I glanced over at Devin who was now in his bed, laying on his back, with an arm folded underneath his head. He was busy on his cell, so I looked back at his computer, hoping David would message me and help me escape. As much as I loved spending time with Devin, it was becoming torture to be near him and not touch him. How many nights had I fantasized about kissing those lips?

A message popped up on my screen.

Yeah! Can't come here now, though. Roommate home. Damn, need to get out of here before I jump him! He's so damn cute. It's killing me.

I smiled a little. God, I could relate.

OK. How about the commons? Near the pizza place?

David responded immediately.

Sounds good. Wait! How will I know you?

I bit back a laugh. This was beginning to sound a little like a covert operation. I thought for a second and scanned the room, coming up with an answer.

I will be wearing a red Nike hoodie and I have blonde hair. I'm pretty short, too.

OK. See you in half hour Mark. It will be nice to finally come face to face with you.

I winced at that. Crap... I still couldn't believe I was such a wimp that I had lied about my name! Oh, well. Pretty soon we would meet and could commiserate together. I decided I would give him my real name when we met. I really didn't like lying. Plus, the more we got to know each other through our online chats, the more I realized he is the kind of guy I would normally fall for. If I weren't already so hung up on Devin, that is. David seemed like a really nice guy and he deserved honesty.

I shut my laptop, grabbed my red hoodie from the top of my dresser and turned to tell Devin I was heading out, but paused at his expression. He was giving me a very strange look.

"What?" I asked. "Do I have something on me?" I scanned my clothes, but didn't see anything, so I pulled my hoodie on.

"You going out?" Devin asked, never answering the question.

"Yeah. I'm meeting a friend for dinner and then just taking it from there." I couldn't figure out why Devin was still looking at me with a weird expression. "Hey, are you okay?"

Devin sort of shook his head and a huge grin spread across his beautiful face. "Yeah, I'm okay. Actually, I'm great! So, where are you going?"

"Just to the Commons. Why? You hungry?" Oh, no!

Why did I ask him that?

This could ruin the entire evening. I didn't want to be rude, but I really needed to get away from Devin to clear my head and work through the feelings that overwhelmed me so often. I waited for Devin to answer, silently praying he would say no.

"Nah. I might run over there later for a cheeseburger, but I'm good right now. Thanks. Have a good time." He still had a huge grin on his face when I turned to leave.

I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped out into the hall. Soon I was making my way through the grounds over towards the Commons.

********************

Devin's POV

I couldn't quit smiling. The minute I saw Gage close his computer and reach for his red hoodie, I knew. I just

knew.

And that was more than I could have hoped for!

The past few months had been torture as my crush on Gage had turned into something deeper. I had fallen in love with him. Everything he said, everything he did, how he looked, and god, the way he smelled, it all made me want him more. I knew I had to do something soon or I was going to lose my mind. Even my grades were suffering.

From the day Gage opened the door in just his little boxer briefs, my heart had been doing flip-flops. I thought it was just a little crush on a cute guy at first, but soon my dreams were filled with him. I ached to touch him everywhere and I stared at him whenever I could get away with it. And Gage starred in my nightly jack-off sessions. One night, in a particularly stupid move on my part, I started stroking my hard cock while he slept just a few feet away in his bed. As I imagined it was him touching me, I accidentally cried out Gage's name as I climaxed and had been terrified he heard. Thank god, he never mentioned it.

At first, I was pretty sure Gage was straight, but I noticed he never dated, never talked about women, and never told me about any girl he was interested in. I, on the other hand, had always played the straight card: I dated women, talked about women and had even slept with two. Both times with women had only solidified that I was gay. Not bi. Gay. I was only attracted to men.

One day a few weeks ago, Gage had left his laptop open while he was in the bathroom. I needed to look up something and was having connection issues with my laptop, so I slid over to the other desk and went to log into the college portal. We had used each other's computers before and it was no big deal. But the website he was on caught his eye. It was a page full of half-dressed men in hot poses. I gasped because I realized I had surfed that website myself! I slid away from the computer without using it because I didn't want to embarrass Gage. I hadn't said anything about it that night, either.