He was tall, had short wiry reddish hair, combed straight back, stiffened with a product that had been unable to tame a couple of poking cowlicks. His face was boyish, pale skin with freckles, clear blue eyes bordered with red eyelashes.
"Mr. Jones?"
He held out his hand and gave mine a shake – strong, dry, callused. Not the hands of a boy, but I was probably 10 years older. I returned his grip, but made sure his was the stronger.
"Rick, from the cable company," he said, looking down at his clipboard.
He was thin... No, not thin, but no extra padding, muscle over bone. He wore a long-sleeved cotton work shirt with "Rick" embroidered below his company logo. There was a tool belt that hitched over one hip, crossed his pants at an angle, and hung down on his other hip, heavy with tools. It reminded me of a gunslinger's holster. I smiled, imagining him closer to me.
"Mr. Jones?"
I looked up and he was staring at me. I blushed, then smiled. His eyes dropped back down to his clipboard.
"I'm here to hook up your new internet router. I believe we had an appointment?"
"Yes... yes," I said. "You're right on time."
I swung open the door, stepped aside, and waved a path for him.
"I have to check the signal outside the house, first."
He looked up and our eyes met. I felt like I was going to melt. He couldn't possibly be having the same reaction to me. He looked away, then found my eyes again. Our gaze lasted longer this time, longer than socially acceptable, long enough. He looked at his clipboard.
"I'll be back in just a few minutes."
He turned and I watched him, in case he looked back. He didn't, disappearing around the side of the house. I shut the door and made a quick dash upstairs, two steps at a time. "I'm not in such bad shape," I thought, catching my breath. I slipped into my bathroom to clean up, just in case.
I was proud of how I took care of myself. I had a queer ritual I had been doing for years. I flushed my colon twice with warm soapy water. Then I lightly greased a large, oval-shaped plastic bottle with petroleum jelly, which I inserted up my ass. It had taken about a year to be able to stretch my opening enough to take the wide bottle. Early on I had switched from a round butt plug to an oval-shaped bottle. It was amazing how much my hole was transformed into a 3-inch long slit. And that wasn't just my opinion. I was shaving all my pubic hair for my wife (she loved it when I fucked her doggie style and my bare balls smacked into her clit). I discovered how good it felt to shave the inside of my butt. I kept shaving until my entire butt crack was hairless. I did my ritual, finishing with massage oil. My asshole felt so much like a wet pussy that I had to see what it looked like. I squatted over a digital camera, bore down like I was taking a shit, and took a picture. It looked so much like a pussy that I shared the "porn I found on the internet" with my work buddies. I was proud of the comments they made about the "pussy." Several asked me to e-mail them copies, joking with me how they were going to use it to jerk off. None of them questioned the authenticity of my beautiful pussy shots. I wondered what Rick might have thought of the pictures...
The doorbell rang. I had finished my cleanse and stretch and was just finishing getting re-dressed.
"I'll get it," I called. I passed by our bedroom. My wife was still asleep taking her afternoon nap. I quietly closed the door and went back down the stairs to let Rick in. He was waiting, holding up a black box.
"Your new router," he said. "Do you have a back door?"
Caught off guard with the question, I coughed to hide a nervous laugh. When I didn't say anything and just kept searching his eyes, he blushed. He was even cuter when his freckles darkened.
"I just need to get inside... to hook up... the internet...," he went on, stumbling over his choice of words.
I didn't say anything. Didn't know what to say. Rick looked at me with such concern that I wondered if I had understood what he was really saying. He looked down, pointed at his boots. My heart fell out of gear as I realized I had misread what he had meant. He really did need to use another door to get inside. His boots were dirty and he didn't want to track through the whole house.
"Sure," I said, pointing down the walkway to the garden. "Go around this way. There's a door at the end."
I must have sounded as disappointed as I felt because he gave me a look of pity that quickly transformed into a smile. I cursed my heart for melting all over again and closed the door.