Almost two weeks had passed since I went out with James to settle my brother's gambling debt and while I felt that it went well overall and that we enjoyed our time together, I had not heard from him so I was beginning to wonder if I was mistaken. I did not want to bring up the subject with my brother Josh, but I did not like wondering if I missed some obvious sign or if I somehow upset James by leaving his apartment without waking him. In the end I decided that I would rather have clarity so I decided to ask Josh if he heard anything and apologize if I had to or simply accept the fact that James was not as much of a gentleman as I thought.
I was finishing my dinner when James returned home, stopping by the kitchen to say hello and grab a beer before heading to the shower. We exchanged a few words about the day and general odds and ends before I posed the question: "Have you spoken to James recently?"
Josh looked at me curiously and replied, "No, I was planning to ask you the same question. I believed that it might be a subject that you preferred to steer away from for some reason or other and kept my curiosity to myself. I may not hear from James during the week unless we have a card game planned but under the circumstances I expected to hear something this week. Were you rude or impolite to my friend, Rob?"
"I certainly don't think so and you know that I did everything that I understood to be required by your foolish bet. I am a bit confused since I thought that we got along well and would have expected a call within a day or two of seeing him. Maybe he didn't like me as much as he thought that he would and has no interest in seeing me again, but even if that is true, I would expect that he would be upfront and tell me or at least tell you to tell me that he was being transferred to Beirut or something."
"Well, let's give it another day or two and if you still don't hear from him, I will make a call and ask if we are planned for cards next week," he said. "This should be enough of an opening for him to say something but if he still doesn't take the hint, I will ask him directly."
"Thanks, Josh, I appreciate it," I replied.
On the second day after speaking to Josh, I received a text from James, very long and apologetic with a hint of embarrassment:
"Hi Robin, I can fully understand if you simply delete this text and ignore me, but I am hoping that you will hear me out before doing anything that drastic. You deserved better from me, and I embarrassed myself and I am sorry. I called Josh today to ask if he would speak to you on my behalf before I contacted you, but he wouldn't hear of it. I would like to make amends and explain things face to face so would you agree to have dinner with me tomorrow night, no strings attached? If you don't feel like dinner, will you join me for a drink and give me 20 minutes to explain myself before walking out? I am very sorry for not calling you after our first meeting and this poor decision has haunted me ever since. Please meet me for dinner. James"
After reading the text several times, I called Josh to get his opinion since he spoke to James directly and was privy to nuance and tone, something that doesn't come through in a text. He was direct in his thoughts: "James sounded contrite and seemed genuinely embarrassed. I didn't want to get into details with him, so I hustled him off the phone and told him to speak to you and I think that he dreaded making the call, which is a good sign. If it were up to me, I would listen to him before telling him to get lost. I still think that he's a decent guy, and you could do worse, but I will back you up in whatever decision you take, just don't be a heartless bitch."
I smiled to myself and replied, "Fair enough. He asked me for dinner tomorrow evening so he is prepared to pay for me to listen to him so I will give him that much. Thanks for your input."
"No problem. You're on your own tonight so don't wait up for me. I'll see you tomorrow night--assuming you make it home after dinner," he said with a laugh.
James and I met in the restaurant where we had dinner with Josh a few weeks back to set up our initial evening together. James was sitting at a table off to one side of the dining room sipping a beer when I arrived. I wanted to greet him with a kiss on the cheek but in tossing the idea around in my head on the way over, I decided against it and left such familiarity temporarily on the side until I understood why I hadn't heard from him. Maybe I was being overly sensitive to a minor slight, but I knew that I had to set some basic rules for proper behavior and a call within a day or two after having sex is not too much to ask. If the situation were reversed, I definitely would have called him. What's good for the gander is good for the goose so to speak.
James stood up as I walked over and awkwardly gave me a hug, saying, "I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable hugging you, but I couldn't stop myself. I've missed you, Robin, and I hope that you can forgive my rudeness."
"If it makes you feel any better, I will admit that I had to talk myself out of kissing you hello. If we both feel uncomfortable at this point, I take it as a positive sign," I said.
We sat down and I asked the waitress for a glass of wine and James asked for another beer. When the waitress left, James confessed that he was nervous about meeting me but felt better now and hoped to turn back the clock to the last time we saw each other. He said that he enjoyed our "first date" and we laughed at this reference, and I admitted that I had a nice time as well.
When we got our drinks we clinked glasses without a toast and after taking a sip of wine I was the first to address the pachyderm in the parlor. "So, after both of us admitted to enjoying our first encounter, will you kindly tell me why I never heard from you? You did not strike me as some "college freshman" who simply wanted to add a notch on his gun and after going to so much trouble to get a meeting with me, why take the chance of jeopardizing what might turn out to be a pleasant friendship by ghosting me? I expected better from you."
"And you deserved better," he replied. "Look, I was a bit hurt when in the note that you left, you said that if I wanted a date with you, I should have asked you directly rather than go through Josh. You were right and I was embarrassed by the approach I took. I guess I overthought the situation with the end result being that I didn't make the call I knew I should have made. The evening that we had together was great, I think that you are a really nice person and I honestly believe that you are special. I'm glad that you agreed to see me tonight to let me apologize and I hope that you will give me another chance at a first date. I would like to redeem myself."
I waited a few moments before replying but then I responded quietly, "I knew that I couldn't stay angry with you for long but please know that you were not the only one who was hurt. I was upset when I didn't hear from you since I thought that we got along well and I believed that you were a gentleman. Forgetting my brother's penalty for losing a hand of cards, you made me feel good in so many ways I can't begin to explain. Let's chalk up the past couple of weeks to miscommunication and put it behind us, I don't want to waste any more time." He took my hand in his and kissed my fingers without saying anything and my heart fluttered.
We had a pleasant dinner and decided to skip desert in favor of some fresh air. While walking, James began to ask a question but before he could get the words out I simply said, "Yes."
"You don't know what I was going to say," he said.
"Well, you already have the answer so choose your question carefully," I replied with a smile.
