"Oh, come on Matt, they don't look that bad." said John from behind him. Matt just frowned, his lips swollen from a recent trip to the dentist.
"That bad? John, Chevys don't even have this much of a grill! It's freaking ridiculous!" said Matt as he stole another glance in the mirror. He winced as he hooked a finger under the far edge of his lips, and lifted it. His teeth glinted in the light, wired tight. He sighed and dropped his lips, and shook his head.
"I'm fucking hideous. Braces at 18. What the actual shit." said Matt. John, arms crossed as he propped himself in the doorway of Matt's bathroom, shrugged and put his hands up.
"Well hey, look at the bright side, man." said John as he dropped his arms. He stepped through the doorway, and clasped a hand on his friend's shoulder. He gave a smirk, and stared at Matt in the mirror.
"At least your radio will come in freaking crystal now."
Matt rolled his eyes, and shrugged John's hand away. "That's not fucking funny man, seriously." he said. He turned, and hit the light switch, which plunged John into the dark. The boys left the room, and Matt threw himself upon his bed with a sigh. He brought his hands to his face, and rubbed his eyes as he groaned.
"Who the hell is going to want someone that can cut them just by gracing their lips? Seriously." said Matt.
John walked forward, and sat on the edge of the bed. He crossed his legs, and scratched his head. "Well man, would you rather have fucked-up teeth? Think of the long term gains. That's really what it's about."
Matt lifted his head, and wriggled his nose. "Long term gains aren't shit for us, John. I wasn't getting girls beforehand, but I'm sure as shit not going to get them now." he said, his head falling back against the mattress. John rolled his eyes, and stood. He crossed the room towards Matt's closet, and began to look through the clothes. Matt turned on his side and looked at his friend, his head cocked as he saw him.
"Uh, John? What are you doing man?"
John looked over his shoulder, and a slow smirk cut across his lips. He turned his head back to the closet, and grabbed a few shirts and pants. He laid them across Matt's computer chair, and looked for another moment before turning to face Matt. He put his hands on his hips, and chuckled.
"Alright, so if you're freaking out about your face, we draw attention away from it. It's the easiest solution."
Matt rose from the bed, and rolled his eyes. "Well, that'd be a great solution," he said, "if I actually had any clothes that didn't make me look like a total dork".
Matt rose from the bed, and walked towards the stack that John had pulled from his closet. He flipped through them, a slight frown on his face as he held them up to his chest.
"That's weird," said Matt, "I don't even remember buying any of these."
John laughed, and pointed towards Matt's closet. "Oh, you did," he said, "they're just in the back, past all the black heavy metal tee shirts. You know, I bet there's an undiscovered species back there, too."
"Oh, shut the fuck up John. So what goes with what?"
John stepped forward, and held up a plaid button down and pair of skinny jeans. He held them against Matt's frame, and eyed them for a moment. Then, with a quick nod of his head, he handed them over to Matt.
"There you go. It's a little lumber jack-y, but that'll be okay. I bet you'll look cute in it." said John with a smile. John walked over, and sat on the edge of the bed, and looked at Matt-who stood there with the clothes in his arms.
"Uh, John? Do you mind?" said Matt. John smirked, and shook his head.
"No, actually, I don't. Besides man, for crying out loud, you don't have anything I haven't seen."
Matt paused a moment, then shrugged as he sat the clothes down and began to get undressed. As he pulled his shirt over his head and hooked his hands into his jeans, he laughed and looked at John.
"You know what's sad? That's the first time anyone other than my mother has called me cute. Like, ever."
John smiled, and gave a nod. "Well, you're welcome. Now get into those jeans. They should be nice and tight, which should be perfect."
Matt paused again, and looked at his friend. He stared at John a moment before popping the buttons to his jeans, and sliding them away. He reached for the skinny jeans, and forced himself into their contouring legs. But as it came time to zip them, Matt sucked his gut in. He laid on the bed. He hopped, he tried tucking himself even. After moments of struggle, he looked up at John and gave a defeated sigh.
"They're too tight in the crotch. How the hell does anybody fit in these things?" said Matt.
John raised an eyebrow, and walked forward. He lowered himself to one knee and tugged at the zipper, and pulled his hand back. His cheeks began to tinge, and he rose to his feet laughing. He clasped a hand on Matt's shoulder, and gave it a squeeze.
"Hell yeah, they're too tight in the crotch-your cock is fucking huge, man."
