"I know, I'm sad too," Matt said as he carried Aidan to the apartment. The kid had been quiet on the ride home. He was usually pretty noisy, having something to say about everything. As Matt carried him, Aidan laid his head on his shoulder and stared into nothing. Matt recognized the pathetic look on Aidan's face. It mirrored his own. "You have to remember that Moose was having a bad day. You weren't there when Mike surprise attacked him at the office like a little bitch. I'll spare you the details. But it didn't end there. Then he got a call that you were being rushed to the ER," Matt explained to his brother as he let them into the apartment and dumped the diaper bag by the door.
He sat on the couch and snuggled his Pouty Potato. "Not everyone can be strong all the time. The least we can do is give him a day to breathe. If he doesn't call us by the end of the weekend, we'll go check on him. Okay?"
Aidan watched Matt with the biggest, saddest blue eyes and quivering lip. There was even a lone tear that clung to his bottom lash. His still bruised eyes added to the utterly devastated look. Matt's heart squeezed. Aidan might not have understood what was said, but he understood what was happening.
"I know he said some hurtful things but we're going to let that stuff go, okay? Love is about grace and forgiveness."
The rest of the day was kind of a bust. The brothers laid on the couch and watched a movie, ate food, and otherwise moped pathetically. Aidan kept looking at Matt, wondering if it was time to go get Moose.
Nope, it wasn't time yet. He wasn't sure how long it would take Seamus to call but he hoped it would be soon.
That evening, Matt gave Aidan a bath. He loved a fresh Aidan and smiled brightly as he combed that wild brown hair into a neat little geeky do. "Look," Matt pointed to Aidan's reflection in the mirror. "It's a Geeky Potato." Aidan smiled at himself.
They finished getting ready for bed. Aidan didn't want to sleep in his crib. As long as he had two black eyes, Matt couldn't say no. Geeky Potato got one more dose of medicine before snuggling into Matt's bed for the night.
Matt silenced his phone but he kept it close by...just in case.
* * * * *
"What are you doing?" Matt groaned. He turned his head to try and get away from the bothersome fingers.
Aidan was poking Matt in the face. He put his arm around Aidan and pinned the toddler under him. Aidan started wiggling and whining, so Matt attacked the soft belly flesh until Aidan was laughing uncontrollably. He stopped the attack and smiled at his crazy haired brother. "Are you going to let me sleep now?"
Aidan smirked. "Sweep."
The trap was clear. The kid couldn't hide shit. But Matt closed his eyes and waited anyway. Sure enough, the mattress dipped and Aidan was on top of him, trying to tickle him. Matt thrashed like a dying fish, taking Aidan on the ride of his life. They wrestled around until Matt was exhausted. Aidan probably could've kept going but Matt slipped off the bed and ran away. Leaving a laughing Aidan to cheer in victory.
It was a great morning, which actually hurt. Seamus should've been there. Aidan should've been attacking both of them, or maybe Seamus would've sided with Aidan and combined powers. However divided the teams, there should've been three of them.
Aidan went to daycare, Matt went to class, his phone didn't ring. Matt went to work, picked up Aidan from day care, his phone didn't ring. They went home, cooked dinner, and, you guessed it, his phone didn't ring.
Okay, Matt had planned to wait Seamus out since Seamus was the one who'd lashed out, yet Matt was calling Seamus's number before Aidan's door clicked closed for the night. He'd given Seamus twenty-four hours to come to his senses. Matt wasn't waiting any longer.
Voicemail.
Maybe Seamus was calling him at that exact moment? He looked at his phone and waited for an incoming call as he walked to the couch. Nothing. He tried calling again. Voicemail. He called more times than he wanted to admit. Two dozen? Three? Nothing but voicemail. Every call was just one more time.
Voicemail.
The next morning. Voicemail.
Matt didn't see him at the office nor at the café when he stopped by.
It felt sucky but Matt wasn't giving up yet. He pulled Aidan from the car seat and set him on his hip. "After what happened the other day, I think I'll carry you."
He thought Aidan would protest because the kid still thought he was the fastest person in the world, but he let Matt carry him anyway.
The doorman frowned sympathetically at Aidan's battle wounds. "Oh boy, you took a beating." He pulled a little Dum Dum from just jacket pocket and handed it over. Aidan took it, then hid his face bashfully in his brother's neck.
Matt smiled at the tiny peach sucker. "Thank you. This is just what the doctor ordered."
They continued to the loft. Matt let Aidan knock. When Seamus didn't answer, Matt tried, a little louder.
Though he knew that going into Seamus's apartment while they were fighting was a gamble, it was one he was willing to take. The lights were off and it was utterly quiet. "Seamus?" he hollered. They checked the apartment. No Seamus. Matt called his phone again and, surprise, got his voicemail.
Matt turned on the TV and they made themselves at home. By dinner time, there was still no sign of Seamus. Matt considered staying the night but decided against it.
Matt continued to call Seamus's phone on a regular basis. He stopped by the loft a few more times. No Seamus. Drove by the business. No Seamus. Hang out at the cafe. No Seamus. Matt was not only irritated that Seamus was avoiding him but worried that something was seriously wrong.
It wasn't until midweek that part of the mystery was solved. They were at the apartment. Aidan kept walking to the door asking for Moose.
Matt sighed. "I don't know what to tell you, he's not answering and I don't know where he is. I don't know what's going on."
Aidan cocked his head. "Fown?"
"I tried. Moose isn't answering his phone."
"Moose fown!" Aidan gallooped to the door, smiled, grabbed the diaper bag, and dragged it awkwardly to Matt.
"Do you need a new nappy?"
Aidan shook his head and scowled. He didn't need a new diaper. Instead, he squatted next to the bag and dug into it, tossing things out as he went. Finally, he reached into the deep dark depth of the bag and pulled out a cell phone. "Fown!"
Sure enough, Aidan was holding Seamus's phone. Matt took the dead phone and looked it over. "Did you hide Moose's phone from him?
Little brother took the phone back and held it to his cheek. "Ello Moose!" Aidan walked around the living room chatting and fake laughing into the phone. Matt smiled despite himself. At least he knew why Seamus wasn't answering. But that didn't answer the bigger question. Where was Seamus?
If Aidan had accidently stowed the phone last time they were together, why hadn't Seamus stopped by? It was like he literally dropped off the face of the earth. Matt spent the rest of the evening thinking about that night. He replayed everything that had happened starting with the joy he felt when Seamus stopped by the office after two weeks apart and ending the replay when the loft door closed behind him.
Matt was at a dead end. He had called no less than a hundred times, stopped by the apartment six or seven times, swung by the office even when he wasn't scheduled to work, and drove by the businesses, all in an effort to find Seamus. Now he had to wait. And he would wait as long as Seamus needed.
* * * * *
Turns out waiting for Seamus was b-o-r-i-n-g. Time seemed to move at a snail's pace.
I did give Matt more time to think. One of the things he thought about was the night Aidan face-planted it. More specifically, he thought about his conversation with the woman behind the counter at Dough Guppies.
Since his mother's death, Matt wasn't sure he'd ever talked about her to Aidan. Not once. If he had, it wasn't anything notable. And Aidan's dad? Zilch. He didn't even have a picture in his apartment to commemorate their existence. It was no secret that Matt wasn't overly close with his mom but that didn't mean that Matt didn't love her or that Aidan should know her.
Aidan needed someone in his life to preserve the memory of his parents and make sure their lives were known to him.
* * * * *
"Aidan, c'mon. What are you doing? Stop. You can't do that. Those are someone else's flowers." Matt groaned and swept his brother into his arms and away from the bouquet of flowers he was trying to steal from Nancy Stubaucher RIP 1916-2008.
Go figure, his mom was buried on the far side of the cemetery. The distractions between point A and point B seemed endless. Matt couldn't imagine doing this on a regular basis. Every flower, every gift, every headstone, every cross was all very exciting to Aidan.
"Here," he handed his brothers the flowers they'd picked up on the way. "I don't think Mom will care if you destroy these."
Aidan grabbed the flower and took off in a trot, leaving petals floating in the soft breeze. Matt sighed. Why he thought this would be like a scene from those melodramatic movies where the small child understands the deep, emotional significance of what they were doing, he'd never know. Instead, Aidan was hyped up on freedom and the thrill of a brand-new place.
Matt couldn't judge Aidan for not playing the part, not when he didn't feel much himself as he stood in front of his mother's modest burial. He didn't even know what to say. He was tempted to say the same shit he heard in the movies but why? What was the point? Could his mom even hear him? Would she see through his words, to the truth of the matter?
