My godson and I were returning to Laredo after a weekend in Nuevo Leon, Mexico. Cheap booze, cheap steaks, probably the best part of my weekend was when I hired a senorita to show Devin a good time!
You see, Devin, had just turned 18 and had been accepted in the University of Texas so he wanted to party with his favorite gay "uncle" one last time before school started. I had taken care of Devin since his momma had lost her husband. Technically, I was his godfather, not uncle, but it didn't matter - me and the boy were close.
From the painfully shy wispy kid who could not utter more than a "Hello," Devin had grown into a handsome young man, 6' 2". He swam, he played tennis, he had become a Texan hero in high school, acing school, lettering on the tennis team.
As our car inched closer to the border crossing, I had our passports ready. Finally, it was our turn to go ahead to the booth. The border guard took the passports and looked at us.
"How do you two know each other?" the guard asked.
"He's my godson." I said proudly.
"So," the guard continued, "How long has he known you?" he directed that question to Devin.
Devin was nervous. "Um, how long? For years!"
"Don't you mean, all your life?" the guard pressed.
"Yes," Devin nodded, "Yes, all my life."
The guard went back to his booth. A moment later, he emerged and asked me, "Bringing anything back to the States?"
"Two bottles of Kahlua." I said.
"And you?" He looked at Devin.
"Um, nothing." I noticed how Devin was sweating. He was obviously nervous.
The guard retreated to his booth. When he came back out he pointed over to the side, "Sir, take your car over there and prepare to be inspected."
Shit, I thought. What a pain. But when I looked at Devin, he was dripping with sweat.
"Uncle, I brought back some weed."
"You WHAT?"
"It's hidden. I think we're good."
I was moving the car over to the inspection area. "Just give it to me. Devin, you can't get in shit! You're 18, you're an adult! You'll screw up school!"
"I know! I know!" Devin whined. "I'll be fine. They won't find it."
At the inspection area, 2 guards came out. 1 signalled for us to get out of the car. The other began opening the doors and the trunk.
"Sir," a guard said to me, "Will you and your son go inside?"
"He's not my dad," Devin blurted.
"Oh really?"
"He's my godfather," Devin explained, but the guard was already making a note in his pad.
We walked into the air conditioned room while the guards began taking everything out of the car.
"Sir," a guard said to Devin. "You have a choice - you can either walk through the full body scanner or choose to be manually pat down."
Devin looked panick-stricken. He looked at me. He looked back at the guard. I knew he was hiding something on him when he fatefully said, "Pat down please."
"Okay then." One guard pointed to me. "Sir, you have the right to stay and observe."
"Um, yes," I nodded, "I'll stay."
The two guards with us pointed to a stainless steel table. "Sir?" They directed Devin to the table, "Please put your hands on the table and spread your legs."