Blue

Note: Here is the final chapter of Blue's story. I hope it doesn't disappoint. I was going to split it into two parts, but wasn't sure if I had enough for a whole other chapter.

As always, your comments are always welcome!

-----

There wasn't much Blue remembered about his last few days in the basement. He vaguely remembered finding the clothes and calling Harley, but he did remember what he said to the man.

I love you

. Thomas came downstairs at some point and ripped the clothes off, although he did bring down a thicker blanket and some orange juice. Not that Blue was in any condition to drink it, but it was there beside him. At least he'd been aware enough at some point to get rid of the phone.

All of a sudden, there was light everywhere, and Blue found himself being lifted onto a stretcher by two men. Words came at him, something about being safe and going to a hospital. He'd cried in relief and the tears quickly turned into a pained cough. It hurt so much that it made him cry some more. The paramedics placed an oxygen mask on his face and, when he kept trying to curl up into a ball to relieve the pain in his chest, they strapped him to the gurney.

The feel of the sun on his face after so long was blissful. It was warmer than he would have thought outside and the heat eased the tightness in his chest. Then, wonder of wonder, his eyes fell on a familiar face. Harley was there and Blue managed to let the paramedics know he wanted to talk to the man. They allowed it for only a moment, since they wanted him back under the mask as quickly as possible.

"I thought I dreamt calling you, Harley. I'm so glad you came."

"Of course I came, Blue. I had to, since you were depending on me." Harley smiled and took hold of his hand.

"How long? It seems like just minutes ago I was on the phone with you, but other times it feels like years."

Harley urged him not to talk, since it was an obvious effort. "Two days. I called the police in the city, and they did a search and learned of others who went missing in this area in the past. We've learned that the one you got when you called the police station here was the only one associated with the guy who was keeping you here. It was just bad luck he was on duty when you called."

"Story of my life," Blue whispered, but the words were lost when the paramedic replaced the oxygen mask and pushed him the rest of the way to the ambulance. He was asleep before the back door closed.

When he woke up, he was in a hospital bed. It was nighttime, he noted when he turned his head and saw darkness outside the window. Warmth covered him and Blue wanted to sink down into it fully. He had been cold for so long. Here in the hospital room, the air was warm, the blanket was warm, and even the thin hospital gown was warm.

A soft sound made him turn his head the other way and he caught his breath at the sight of his mother. She was asleep in the chair beside his bed, her red hair pinned back with the jewelled clips she loved so much. Why was she here? His eyes watched her for a moment. She hadn't changed much in the years since he saw her last. There was maybe a touch more gray in her hair, but it was still mostly red. Her figure was still on the plump side, and he remembered how much comfort he got as a kid when she hugged him close.

A part of him wanted to wake her and get one of those hugs. The rest of him remembered how she turned her back on him when he desperately needed her after his beating. In the end, it was his own fatigue, pulling him back into sleep, that kept him from deciding one way or the other. Just before falling into darkness again, he realized that his breathing was easier. Not quite back to normal, but at least he didn't feel like he was half-drowned anymore.

The next time Blue woke up, it was to find a man leaning over him. Fear shot through him and he pushed the man away, fighting to sit up and get away from the perceived threat. Two pairs of hands held him down and Blue felt his panic ratchet up until he finally started hearing the words spoken over him. "Calm down, Son. You're in the hospital and nobody's going to hurt you here."

Blue stopped fighting and got a good look at the two holding him down. Now he saw the nurse's uniform and the doctor's white coat. He let himself press deeper into the mattress and started breathing deeply. Fuck, it felt wonderful to take such deep breaths without hacking up a lung because of it. He barely understood what the doctor was telling him about his condition and the treatment. What he did get was that he'd been in the hospital for four days, he no longer needed oxygen, as of the previous day, and although he might feel better, he was still very sick.

Once he was settled back in, the doctor and nurse done with their examination, the doctor smiled kindly at him. "My name is Dr. Baxter and this lovely nurse is Jane Wildman. There are some people outside who are going to be very happy to know you're awake. Any preference on who you'd like to see first?"

"That depends on who's out there, I guess. I can only think of one person who would want to visit me." He thought he remembered seeing his mother, sitting beside the bed, but that had to have been a dream. Right?

"There's definitely more than one person out there," Nurse Jane laughed. "Your parents are there, along with a handful of brothers and sisters who all have your same gorgeous hair. Another gentleman was there a lot, but I sent him down to the cafeteria for something to eat before he fell over. His name was Harvey, I think."

"Harley. The only one I want to see is Harley, but I guess I should see what the others want. If Harley isn't back, send in some of the others, I don't care who."

So his mother being beside his bed wasn't a dream. She really had been there. What reason could his parents have for being here in the hospital? Blue couldn't figure it out. Maybe his father was here to yell at him again, for daring to come back to the town and making a spectacle of himself. That had to be the reason. Blue had come back, and not only brought attention to himself and his deviant behaviour, but it would reflect on his family. The rest of the family, his mother and brothers and sisters, were there to see just how horrible a person he was.

Kevin Evans was in for a surprise if he thought Blue would take his rant in the same submissive way. The things Blue lived through since that long-ago day when he was fifteen made it certain that hearing his father yell at him didn't paralyze him. He'd given head to men in exchange for services. He'd escaped men intent on rape, even if it was with Harley's help. He'd lived on the street with an empty belly for days and weeks at a time.

He turned his head and felt disappointed that it wasn't Harley. His parents came into the room slowly. When they saw he was awake, his mother rushed over to give him a hug and his father wasn't far behind.

"Oh my little Blue! I've been so worried about you!"

"Glad you're getting better, Son. You were in bad shape there for a while."

Blue firmly disentangled himself from his mother's embrace and set her back. He looked from one to the other with wary distrust and disbelief. "I don't see why you would care. What are you doing here, anyway? I'd like it better if you would just go and leave me alone."

"No, no it's all right now, Blue." Even though her face became very pale at his words and her eyes filled with tears, she tried for smile. "Those men were arrested and there's no more danger to us."

"No more danger to

you

? The only one in danger around here is, or was, me. Go away."

Blue's father was the next to try talking to him. "Blue, when you were beaten that first time, those men cornered me while the doctors treated you. They told me that unless we sent you away, they would burn the farm and maybe hurt your brothers and sisters. We couldn't take the chance."

The meaning behind the words took a moment to sink in. Blue looked from his father to his mother, trying to comprehend. "I see. Let me get this straight, because it wouldn't be right to misunderstand. You thought it better to make me feel like a freak, a deviant that even parents couldn't love, rather than turn in the men who did this to me. Better for me to think I was worthless than to give me even a hint of consideration."

It was worse than that, actually. By not turning in the men right away, it made it possible for them to take Blue again. Take him again and do worse things to him. For more than four years, he'd lived with the knowledge that he deserved every bad thing in his life. After all, if his own father said he deserved it, if his own mother couldn't bear to see or talk to him anymore, he couldn't think anything else.

Blue had to acknowledge that it was the truth. He had deserved it. The farm and the other kids were more important and it had probably been easy for his parents to offer him up as a, well, as a sacrifice. Who else always broke things? Who else spent so much time in hospital? Who else always caused trouble for the family? Only Blue.

"It must have been an easy decision for you," he whispered, turning away to look at the window. "After all, I'd been nothing but a burden from the time I was born."

"Blue, we were afraid. I had to think of everyone, try to keep everyone safe. Instead of just throwing you out, I made sure that you would go to the state, to a foster home. We didn't make you leave that home."

"You were afraid. Did you think I wasn't? I was fifteen, thinking that my family was there to take care of me, protect me and keep me safe. Instead, after the most horrifying experience of my life, my family turned their backs on me. I was fucking scared to death! I left the Kane's because I knew I didn't deserve to stay there. If I stayed, I would taint them. So I left."

He told them all that he did out on the streets, just trying to survive. He did exaggerate some by saying he exchanged sex, rather than just blowjobs, when he didn't have enough money. His mother was reduced to tears again, but he kept on, nearly screaming at them.

It wasn't long before he started coughing again and he ripped the IV from his arm. He needed to leave, get back onto the streets where he belonged. Two nurses ran in and before he knew what was happening, they injected him with a sedative. Even as he felt the pull to sleep, Blue kept yelling, insisting that his family were not allowed in his room again. The only person allowed in was Harley, and he should have unlimited access.

Blue opened his eyes slowly the next time he woke up. It was still bright outside, but he had a feeling it wasn't the same day as when his parents visited. A weight on his hand made his head turn and he smiled happily at the sight of Harley asleep with his head leaning on the bed. Calm filled him, since it wasn't his mother, as he feared at first.

While he watched Harley sleep, Blue couldn't help but wonder why Harley had come. Well, maybe not why Harley came, but why he stayed. On the strength of a phone call, Harley left his home, took time away from his job, and helped find Blue. How had he done it? How had he convinced others to take his word about Blue's possible predicament?

Warmth flooded through Blue as he suddenly recalled the dream he had about Harley before making the phone call. The way they'd touched each other in that dream was almost more than he could imagine. The kisses and caresses more arousing than anything he'd ever known before. Even though dream Harley hadn't touched his prick.

The memory, faint and vague as it was now, was enough to cause his cock to swell and grow. It had happened so rarely since the beating, no more than a handful of times, no matter the stimulation. Blue had put it down to the damage done by that studded belt, ripping the delicate flesh. The scar never failed to make his stomach roil and clench. It was probably the main reason all he offered men were blowjobs. Without that, how far would he have gone to keep from being cold and hungry?

Blue was afraid he might have given turning tricks a try. It was kind of a laugh, since he figured as a whore, the men who hired him would only be interested in his mouth and ass anyway. None of them would have probably even looked at his cock. Mentally, however, Blue wasn't able to put himself out there like that. Thank goodness.

Worried that his hard-on would embarrass him if Harley woke up, or someone came into the room, Blue shifted onto his side. The movement disturbed Harley, who blinked his pale blue eyes and smiled. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Pretty good, compared to the last time I saw you. Thank you, Harley. You saved me again."

"It does seem to be a bit of a habit, doesn't it? That's all right. I don't particularly like having to save you, because it means you're in trouble, but if someone has to I'm glad it's me." Harley grinned and reached over to touch Blue's hair. "I kind of miss the blue hair, but this is nice too."

"I miss my blue hair. Thomas thought it was obscene, though, and chopped it off. Harley, I..." Blue closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His heart began to pound in his chest and he simply knew that he couldn't say the words. It would hurt too much if he confessed his love, in person and aware, and it wasn't returned.

Harley stroked his cheek softly, just like in the dream, and Blue felt tears well up in his eyes and spill onto his cheeks. "What is it Blue? Talk to me."

"I thought, no I knew, that I was going to die in that basement. Either Thomas would kill me, or I would die from the pneumonia. Then...then I dreamed of you. I felt so safe and you told me what to do. You told me to get the clothes on and call you. I didn't know how I would get upstairs to use the phone, I could barely crawl, and still I knew I had to do it. Inside the box of clothes was the cell phone and thinking of you calmed me enough to remember your number.

"There were so many times that you were there, in my head, helping me. Giving me strength when I thought I didn't have any left to go on. You have been a true friend to me, someone who believed in me when no one else did. A simple thank you doesn't seem like enough."

"It's more than enough, and not necessary," Harley said, before leaning forward. "I didn't want you to leave. My sister, well, she was being overprotective and thought she was helping. If I had decided you were overstaying your welcome, I would have told you, but nothing could be further from the truth."

Blue looked deep in Harley's eyes and saw nothing but honesty. "I guess I'll have to work more on my self-confidence. Would...would you mind having me as a houseguest again when I get out of here?"

"Are you sure? I saw your parents here and thought maybe they would invite you to go home with them."

Blue did nothing more than shake his head and say he wanted to return to the city. He felt deep relief when Harley smiled and said it would make him happy for Blue to go back home with him. They talked for a long time, both avoiding any mention of their feelings, thinking it was too soon.

Two men came in, introducing themselves as police officers. They asked Harley to leave the room while they took Blue's statement about his time in captivity. Only Blue's refusals to let the other man leave made them relent, although Harley had to move away from the bed and not speak. It wasn't easy to talk about some parts, and there were bits he simply couldn't remember, especially towards the end. The only thing he was thankful for was that the beatings this time would not leave many physical marks.

Luckily for him, it was unlikely they would need him to return to testify, although it was a possibility. Thomas and his friends had kept meticulous notes about their desire to 'turn' their subjects away from homosexuality. Blue learned during the interview that Thomas Gibson was a pastor and had recruited from the more zealous of his congregation for support in his works.

This was the fourth time he punished a sinner, the first time in his own town. Normally he abducted young men from surrounding towns and brought them home. The bodies of those young men were found in a freezer in the backyard. Blue shivered at the knowledge that he was so close to joining them.

He fell asleep soon after the officers left, hand holding tight to Harley's. Before he slept, however, Harley told him that he needed to go home, both to return to work and get things ready for Blue. It worried Blue. He was afraid something would go wrong, that maybe Harley would change his mind. He chided himself as he drifted off and told himself to trust Harley. Soon they would be together again.

It was almost a month before Blue was released from the hospital and able to travel. Harley waited impatiently for the young man to finish in the shower, worried because he'd looked so pale and tired. He had sandwiches and chopped veggies to eat, and it wouldn't take too long to order a pizza if that was what Blue wanted.

Harley didn't have to work until the next day and wished he could take longer, but he'd taken off just over a week when Blue was found and in the hospital. More time wasn't an option right now. In a few weeks he could manage some more, although by then it would be the holidays. As much as Harley wanted to take Blue in his arms, he knew he had to proceed carefully.

He looked up with a smile as Blue came out of the bathroom, as carefully dressed as always. They already had plans to take him out the next day when he was done work to get his hair dyed blue again. Harley had to argue that he would pay when Blue started to worry about the money and needing to get a new job. Harley had to agree to write down the amount to be paid back later before Blue accepted his generosity.

If it was up to him, Blue could take as long as he needed to settle in and get back up to full health before even looking for work. Harley knew, however, that was something the younger man would never agree to. In Blue's mind, nothing was free and his pride wouldn't let him take advantage, even if someone offered their help freely. Maybe in time that would change, but it couldn't be forced.

"Are you hungry? I've got some stuff ready here, or we could order a pizza."

"I still don't have much of an appetite, but I could use a little something, since I have to eat with my pills. I also have to try and drink a lot of water and juice. No caffeine and no alcohol, though."

Harley led the way into the kitchen and set out the platter on the table. He was pleased at the grin on Blue's face at the sight of his favourites. There were tuna sandwiches, egg sandwiches, and lots of carrots and broccoli. After only half of each kind of sandwich, and a few veggies, Blue looked at him apologetically and said he couldn't handle any more. He swallowed his pills and Harley noticed his hands clenched into fists on the table.

"Is there something wrong, Blue? Do you need to rest up a bit?"

Blue bit his lip as he tried to get his thoughts together. He needed to be honest with Harley, but now that the time had come, he didn't know how to do that. His mind kept going back to when he tried to offer Harley the blowjob the first time he stayed here. Without the slightest bit of hesitation, the man had refused him. What if Harley rejected him again?

His past couldn't help him now. The only point of reference Blue had was when he suggested that he could offer good head for whatever he didn't have money for. Somehow, Blue didn't think that would give Harley the right impression. If only he were smart enough to know all the right words to say and the right moves to make.

"There is something very important that I need, but I'm not sure I can have it. I keep thinking about...I mean, you are...Oh fuck this is impossible!"