Bittersweet Irish Cream

(CW: homophobic and racist comments)

Ethan woke up first that Sunday morning. He looked over at Jack's sleeping body, laid on his stomach, arms wrapped around the same pillow he was laying on. Jack used to run every day, but Sunday was the only day Jack did not get up to run his 5k in the early morning hours, so it was nice to wake up beside him.

He reached over and gently brushed his hair out of his face. He stared at Jack's long black eyelashes and thin eyebrows, but those were his only feminine features. He took in Jack's small but pointy nose and his thin, oval shaped pink lips, his bottom one slightly fuller than the top one.

He reached out again and lightly traced his strong jaw that had a light stubble on it. Jack sighed in his sleep but otherwise did not wake up.

Ethan felt his loins stirring. It made him think of the conversation he had with Jack a few weeks ago, about the passion in their relationship. Ethan absolutely still desired Jack, without question. The taste, the touch, the smell of him was all he needed to get going. Right now he smelled of day old deodorant and his natural scent. He moved closer to his sleeping husband.

Ethan ran his hand through Jack's hair with more intention, and caressed his jaw again. Jack's breathing changed and he knew he was waking up. He leaned over and kissed his bare shoulder blades and then lifted up his tank top. Ethan continued to leave kisses all over Jack's back down the lower part of his spine.

"What time is it?" Jack mumbled.

"I don't know," Ethan said as he continued downward, pulling his pajama bottoms down and off his legs, taking his boxers with him. He straddled his thighs.

"EJ will be up soon," Jack mumbled again.

"We'll I'm up right now," Ethan said amusingly and licked the crack of Jack's bottom.

Jack smiled, eyes still closed. "I make the sexual jokes around here, not you."

Ethan bit one of Jack's cheeks making him yelp. He bit the other cheek, making sure to leave a mark, and Jack yelped again. Then he spread his cheeks apart and licked his pink center.

Jack moaned his name, "Eeeeethan."

The sound of Jack calling his name softly like that went straight to Ethan's cock. It hardened immediately, and Ethan reached down to squeeze himself to calm it down before proceeding to tongue kiss Jack's hole. Jack moaned again, and without opening his eyes he moved his legs from underneath his lover to pull his knees in, his head still on the pillow, giving him more access.

Ethan took it, kissing and licking Jack's bottom, sticking his tongue as deep as it would go. When Jack couldn't take it anymore, his own cock rock hard and leaking underneath him, he reached over on the nightstand, grabbed the lube and reached behind him to hand it over.

Ethan got the hint. He massaged Jack's taint and hole first with the lubricant, then poured in his hands and began to stroke himself. He used his other hand to massage Jack's hole with thumb, driving Jack mad with need for him. Ethan could feel him squirming in his hands. He asked him playfully, "You want me?"

"Fuuuck. Yes."

"Tell me how bad you want it," he said seductively. He slipped his thumb inside and moved it around in a circular motion.

"Hmmm... bad. I need you so bad right now."

"You need me to do what?" Ethan switched to two fingers.

"Fuck.... Me...."

"You want my cock in you?" Ethan added a third finger.

"hhhooooo! Yeeeeesssss...."

Ethan's dick was aching to be inside him so he decided to stop torturing himself. He lined himself with Jack's pucker and slowly pressed through his ring. Jack instinctively pushed back and Ethan slid easily inside. They both moaned out a sigh.

He reached over and held onto Jack's shoulders as he fit the rest of his seven inch, very thick cock inside Jack's tight hole. He moved slowly, intentionally, filling him up completely, pulling back, then filling him up again. Jack, who was still holding onto the pillow, held on for dear life as Ethan thrusted into him repeatedly, keeping the pressure on his internal nub.

They stayed this way for minutes, hours, days, centuries it felt like until the build up became too much for both of them. Jack said, "I need to cum."

Ethan agreed with him. "Cum with me. Together."

"Ok," Jack said breathlessly.

He leaned up and held onto his penis, stroking himself as Ethan moved faster. Jack felt the surge from his balls and moaned as he came all over the bed. Almost immediately Ethan cock erupted inside of him, spurt after spurt continuing to coat Jack's insides. Jack fell back down, taking Ethan with him. Ethan kissed the back of Jack's neck and stayed inside of him as they caught their breaths.

Jack spoke first, a simple, "Wow."

Ethan smiled. "Yea. Wow."

He pulled out as Jack turned his head and they kissed with their morning breaths, tongues licking each other. Ethan concentrated on his lips, pulling his bottom one and trapping it within his teeth before letting go, opening his mouth again and grabbing the top one. He pulled away first, kissing his cheek and jaw, shoulder and neck all the way around to his back again.

Ethan reached underneath him and wrapped his arms around his lover, kissed the nape of his neck again. Jack turned so that they were both laying on their sides, Ethan's soft groin against his leaking bottom, and held onto Ethan's arms around him. They laid quietly together on one pillow and drifted off to sleep again for another 30 minutes until their son woke up and knocked on their door demanding breakfast.

~~~~~

Jack was surprised to see Connor at Mass. During the gathering after church he went right up to him and gave him a hug. "Hey stranger! I'm pretty sure Ethan sees you more than I do."

"Yea," Connor said. "I've been helping him set up The Residence with Mel and Ty for the last two months. I also got him a deal with Xfinity, internet and cable, did he tell you?"

"No, but that's so cool. What are you doing here, though? You pretty much stay out of these neck of the woods if you truly don't need to be here."

"They're having a dinner for Mary Kate's promotion tonight so I've been summoned home." Mary Kate was his little sister. He rolled his eyes, but then his eyes got wide with an idea.

"Hey! Come tonight! Please?"

Jack groaned. "C'mon man."

"No really, you can't leave me there with them. Afia will be there too. Bring Ethan!"

"I don't know, man. Your dad pretty much doesn't like me and your brother is a..." Jack reminded himself he was in a church.

"Yea I know, that's why I need you there! The last time he said some disrespectful stuff to Afia when we came for dinner, asked her if she was selling pills on the side of her job as a pharmacy tech. He asked my girl if she was a fucking -oops!- effin drug dealer."

Jack's eyes narrowed. "He really needs his ass beat."

Connor nodded in agreement. "So can you come?"

Jack sighed. "I'll ask Ethan. What time?"

"6pm sharp we start. I plan to be done by 7:15pm the latest, on my way home."

"Speaking of home..." Jack lowered his voice and stepped closer. "How is home?"

"Good. Great really. We're great. It's... pretty great." He smiled and Jack smiled too.

"Ok, man. I just wanted to check on you, make sure you're still...great." He smiled. "I know it can't be easy for you, for both of you to feel like you can't just be you. You know I want that for you. And like I promised, when you're ready, I'll be there for you."

Connor stopped smiling abruptly and looked at him intently. "Has he said something to you?"

"No. Jamel and I don't have luncheons and braid each other's hair, you know," Jack said jokingly.

He was thoughtful. "So he said something to Ethan."

Jack didn't respond, just looked at him. Connor turned around and walked out of the church basement without another word. Jack sighed and followed him, giving Ethan a look on his way out.

Connor was walking fast and Jack had to jog to catch up with him. "Wait up, Con!" He didn't and Jack could tell he was really upset.

When Jack caught up he said, "I didn't get the sense from Ethan that he was upset or anything, just that he wanted to talk to someone who gets it, you know?"

"Then he should talk to me about it," said Connor, frustrated.

"C'mon man you know it's not that simple. You need an outlet other than your partner to talk to. And you know, you can always talk to me."

Connor shook his head and kept walking. Jack walked with him in silence. They walked all the way to Wincheck Pond before Connor slowed down. He got as close to the edge as possible and looked out at the partially frozen water. Jack stood next to him and waited for him to talk first, his breath visible with every word.

"Nobody gets it. Nobody. Nobody understands how hard this is for me. Everybody wants me to just come out with it, that it's the new times where exposing your shit shouldn't affect you anymore because everyone is fucking gender fluid or sexually ambiguous or whatever, so it's no big deal. But it is a big deal. It's a big fucking deal to my family.

"You know what my mom said to me the other day? She started telling me about some girl that's the daughter of one of her Women's Empowerment Alliance club members, that she wants to set me up with. So I say, Mom, I'm seeing someone. And she says, 'you are not still seriously seeing Afia. That can't go anywhere you know this right?' So I pressed her a bit, because at least she's never made any fucked up comments about her, so I thought she was cool about it. She says, 'Afia will never fit into this family. It's time to let it go.'

"So I press her some more, because I just wanted her to fucking say it. She lets my dad and Matty's fucked up ass say shit but she just keeps quiet about it. I said, 'why not mom? She's beautiful, she's smart, she comes from a great family, her mother is a fucking doctor, she's loyal, she should be everything you'd ever want for your son.' She brushes me off, says, 'well she's not Catholic.' I tell her, 'Afia will convert for me. Afia will do anything for me because that's how much she loves me.'

"She finally hits me with it, and says, 'you can't have kids with her. Brown skin kids will never be accepted in our family.' My own fucking mother said this to me about the perfect girl she THINKS I've been seeing for over five years now. My so-called high school sweetheart. What do you think she's going to say to me when she finds out that I am in a serious interracial relationship and I'm not having kids at all?

"Oh and by the way I'M FUCKING GAY!" Connor yelled out loud, his voice echoing across the pond. Jack didn't say anything as Connor got quiet again.

Connor said after a while, "They live in world where races don't mix and gay people are an abomination. Sure, let me bring home a black gay dude, let's see how that goes over. I'd be lucky if my ol' man doesn't beat me within an inch of my life."

"He's not going to beat you Connor, you aren't a kid and you're a fucking Marine," Jack said quietly.

"Yea, but I'm his kid. And trust me, he knows I'm a Marine. The one thing he's so proud of me for is serving my country and shit. He tells everyone about his Marine son. That's who I am to him, his son who served. Not Connor. He doesn't know Connor."

He was quiet for a long moment again. "We got into a huge argument last week. Well, you know Jamel doesn't argue, so I don't even know if it was an argument, more like a fucking scolding. Mom called to tell me about spending the day here so I told Mel I was going and he said ok but I could tell that he was upset. Later on he said that at some point I am going to have to make a choice. This family of two we have going on or my other family. That this double life I'm living has him living a double life as well.

"How he's afraid to tell people who he is because if word somehow got to my family it would cause problems for me, and he didn't want to be the reason my family cuts me off. I told him it's because of him that I would come out, after all this time. And he says to me, don't do it for him, do it for myself. If I do it for him, I would be coming out because of the circumstance and not for me. Honestly what the fuck is the difference? The outcome would be the same."

"Sounds like he just doesn't want to be the cause of more hardship on you," Jack deduced. "He wants you to find yourself in all this, live your truth like you keep saying to me that you want to do. And he definitely doesn't want you to end up resenting him in the end."

"I won't ever resent him," Connor said. "This is my fucked up issues with my fucked up family, not his issues."

"Doesn't work that way, Con. If you're together, your issues become his. Trust me, I know. And you not being straight has been eating at you since you were 16, I know this for a fact. And now he knows it too. He just wants what's best for you."

"And how the fuck is coming out and getting cut off from my entire family what's best for me?" Connor asked. "Yea, they're all assholes, except for Angie my baby sis, but they are still my flesh and blood." Connor was quiet for a moment, then said in a quivering voice, "I love him, Jack. I love him so much it hurts to even think about him leaving me over this. He's my family. He's my whole life."

Jack let him sit in his thoughts for a moment, then said, "I just have one simple question, and it's not for you to answer now, it's for you to think about: 60 years from now you're old and gray, going to dinner someplace and they are celebrating you, the real you. Who's at your table?"

Connor said, "I can answer now, Jamel."

"Who else?"

"Oh I thought that was the trick, about me putting him first." He laughed.

Jack smiled. "I'm getting to that. But first, humor me. Who else is at your table?"

"You and Ethan because y'all are a package deal."

Jack laughed. "Ok. Who else?"

"Afia. Mina. Winter. Sam. Liam and June. My vet buddies. Mel's family, his mom and dad and his brothers. My parents won't be here because they don't know the real me, right? That's what you're getting at," Connor deduced.

"No," Jack said. "Neither your parents nor his will be there because you would be close to 90 years old and they'll all be long gone. That's what I'm getting at. You can't live for them. You have to live for you. And the thing is, you are already living for you. You have a great life, a decent job, a house in your own name, your Vet Buddy organization is taking off, and you're in love with a great guy. You're so happy with him, I can see it every time I get a chance to see you. So live your life and be happy.

"Honestly I'm not even telling you to come out to them. Nobody said you have to make some big announcement. Just... don't hide it anymore. If people find out then they find out. If word gets back to your parents, then deal with it. Because yes, Mel needs to know he is just as important to you as you are to him. At some point, you are going to have to decide to put him first, if you want your relationship to keep being great."

Connor was thoughtful. "Ok. I can do that. It makes me nervous, though. My balls are literally sweating right now." They both laughed. Connor asked again. "Come tonight, ok? Please?"

"Yea. I'll be there." They hugged and started walking back to the church as Jack called Ethan to tell him the change of plans today.

~~~

When Jack, Ethan and EJ showed up at 5:45pm with a bottle of wine for dinner, Afia was sitting in her Subaru absentmindedly rubbing her belly. Jack tapped on her window and she jumped.

"Jack! You scared the shit out of me!" she yelled at him.

"You planning on having dinner in there?" he said amusingly.

She smiled at him as he opened her door to get out. "Well if I did, I bet it'll be more fun than going in there." She hugged Ethan hello.

Jack took her hand. "Don't worry, you got reinforcements this time."

They walked onto the porch together and Jack rang the bell. "How's Ty?" he asked.

Afia smiled. "He's wonderful."

She was about to say more when Matty, Connor's older brother, answered the door. He looked at the three adults and smirked. "Connor, your peeps are here. Is that how you say it, Afeeeeeya? Peeps? Posse? Homies? Crew? Gang?" He laughed at his own joke.

Ethan's eyes narrowed, as he had never had an encounter with Matty before, not even at Mass. Afia started scowling. Jack took over.

"Just get the fuck out of the way, asshole," he said forcefully. Still holding Afia's hand, he pushed passed Matty, who laughed again. Ethan, still holding onto his son's hand, followed.

Connor met them in the entryway, greeting Afia first with "Hey, Lovie," his nickname for her, and a long hug, then said something in her ear that made her giggle. Then he hugged Jack and Ethan. "Thanks for coming."

He said to the boy, "EJ, Freddie is in the living room with Maddy and Deann eating dinner and watching cartoons. Go hang with them." EJ took off to find his classmate Freddie and his siblings. Connor took Afia's hand and led them to the dining room where the food was just coming out on the table.

Angie, Connor's youngest sister, greeted Afia sincerely and happily with a big hug. "Hi! It's been so long since we've seen you around, we were beginning to think Connor fucked it up."

Afia laughed. "No, we're still..."

She and Connor looked at each other and she didn't finish her sentence. It had been a long time since they gave into the lie of their relationship.

Afia gave a polite hug to his mother Katherine and sister Mary Kate, congratulating her on her promotion, and Jack and Ethan did the same. Then all said polite hellos to his father Owen when he came up from the den.

Owen, a retired Army Staff Sergeant, and Ethan know of each other from church and the small business council in Rockville, and Jack and and Connor had been friends since high school so neither of them are strangers to him, but they have also never been in his house for dinner and did not know each other intimately.

They all sat down for dinner and Owen said grace. It started out fine, as Mary Kate explained her new senior duties as a Sales Manager. "So I will be running back and forth between Providence and Boston a lot. Maybe I will get to see my big brother more often now that I will be in his city."

"Yea, maybe," Connor said casually.

Matty spoke up, "Then you'll find out Connor's secret."

Connor's heart stopped beating as he looked at his smirking brother, along with his friends. Afia decided to answer for him and asked calmly, "What secret is that, Matthew?"

"Awww, you haven't figured it out yet?" he chided her. "Because it concerns you greatly."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Matty?" Connor said, annoyed.

Katherine said, "No foul language at the table."

Her sons both ignored her. "Oh don't let me blow up your game in front of everyone, Connor," said Matty. "Not in front of all your friends who think you're so perfect. Especially not in front of your girlfriend. They are always the last to know." He smiled smugly again.

"Afia knows everything there is to know about me," Connor said.

"I'm sure she doesn't know this."

"I'm positive she does."

"Oh, she knows you had a girl in your house that morning when I came by?" Matty asked triumphantly.

Everyone was quiet, then Jack snorted a laugh, making everyone look at him. "Sorry, sorry," he mumbled and took a sip of water.

Afia looked at Connor amused but he was staring at his brother. He said, "What makes you think I had a girl at my house?"

Matty leaned back in confidence. "C'mon baby bro, I know you. That's why you wouldn't let me in. Just like last year when I went by your apartment before you moved into that house. The way you were fidgeting, wouldn't let me past the living room area. And I heard footsteps. I asked if your roommate was there and you said no. It was 7am and it looked to me like you were having a sleepover. And I know Afia is at work at the pharmacy by 7am. So who was she?"