We could live at the beach forever. My wife Joan and I had told one another that for years, every time we made our annual trek to Nags Head, North Carolina with our boys. In the end after each week long vacation, we always came back to reality and knew we had to return home to work and family.
This year as we had for the last several, Joan and I shared our vacation with our best friends, Katie and Mike. This was the first year without any of the kids though. Here it was Wednesday evening, mid-week in our vacation. Wednesday evenings had become the traditional night for the wives to do a bit of shopping. It was a ladies-only night. Mike and I usually stayed at the beach house and watched a ball game and drank a couple of beers. As luck would have it this Wednesday night the cable was out from a storm earlier in the day.
Talking about two very frustrated middle-aged men!
We sat on the deck instead and drank our beer. I was bored near to death, not that Mike and I can't hold a good conversation but Wednesday night was supposed to be a guy's night with beer and ball. As I drained my first bottle of beer I remembered something.
"Hey, you know I saw some DVDs in the cabinet when we got here. Maybe there's something in there worthwhile for guy's night."
Mike gulped the last of his first beer and sat it rather sharply down on the deck table. "Maybe there's a good thriller or better a good spy flick, you know with a hot babe or two to watch."
"I'll go check." I said and stood with my empty bottle.
"Here," he grabbed my bottle, "I'll go get us a couple more of these and meet you in the living room."
So I went in one set of sliding doors and Mike went in the other.
At the television cabinet I shuffled through the couple dozens plastic DVD cases. The first few were all chick flick-romance-types. Not really guy and beer drinking kind of movies. Then I found an old one of the British Secret Agent's best. As I was about to shove all the others back one non-commercial labeled case fell to the floor. I picked it up and opened the case. All that was written on the gold disc in black marker was 'Special Features'.
"Huh." I uttered to myself. "What's this?"
All too curious I slipped the disc into the player and after a bit of jumbled images came up and the background music began a rather heavy beat. Before I knew it, what I thought was colorful art slowly became images of people, very naked people.
This was porn!
In seconds overlaid in front of the naked bodies was a title, "Girls Suck!" And seconds later examples of what was to come showed just that, girls sucking men.
I hit pause button real quick. At first I was a little embarrassed and quickly looked back to see if Mike had caught me watching. He was still clanging around in the kitchen.
'Okay now what?' I asked myself.
Do we go with the secret agent flick or do I offer my best friend the opportunity to watch some porn. I smiled and realized what could be more of a guy's night watching a skin flick. I just wasn't sure either of us would be comfortable watching porn together. Not that either of us hadn't done it on our own before. We had even admitted to one another a few years ago to surfing for the stuff on-line. But to think about sitting in the same room together and watch it, I wasn't sure.
So there I stood, spy flick in my left hand and paused porn flick on the television. I looked from one to the other and back again.
"Hey Jim!" Mike yelled from the kitchen.
The suddenness caught me off guard and I flipped the DVD case in the air. It fell to the edge of the cabinet, popped open and the disc rolled out behind me on the floor.
"Uh, Yeah?" I answered and stepped back to get the disc.
"How about some cheese and crackers with our beer? I forgot I bought some of the extra sharp cheddar the other day." Mike called out.
"Sure. Sounds good." I yelled back and stumbled, my heel coming right down on the edge of the disc.
'CRACK!'
The sound in my ears was louder than it really was I'm sure, but I knew I had just busted it good.
I bent over to pick it up and saw it was split all the way to the center hole. That disc was no more. Then I chuckled as I realized the choice had just been made for me. Porn it would be.
I put the cracked DVD back in its base and back in the cabinet on the other side of the TV. I would have to remember to hit the local mall and find a replacement before we left for home at the end of the week.
"Here we go," I heard Mike and turned to see him walk in with a couple beers in one hand and a paper plate piled with cheese and crackers in the other. "So did you find something worth watching?"
I realized I was standing between him and the TV so he couldn't see what was on display.
"I think it might be worthwhile."
"So? What did you find?" Mike asked as he came around the couch and sat the plate and beers on the table.
I eased over to block the TV still and just stood there.
Mike stood up his beer in his hand. "Well?"
"You wanna watch some porn?" I asked.
His head snapped up. "You have porn here?"
"Yeah, well, no but someone did. Look what I found." I stepped out of the way and let him see what was on the TV.
"What's that?" The he realized what he was seeing. "What the hell?"
"I think I stumbled onto some secret stash." I grinned and reached over to pick up my beer. "The title on this feature is 'Girls Suck!'".
"Uh, appears to be a very descriptive title." Mike stated as he stared at the paused still shot of a couple girls mouthing a hard guy each.
"Yeah, and those are just the opening clips. In fact, the disc itself said 'Special Features' so I can only assume there is more than one movie on there." I took a quick swig of my beer as I let it soak in what we were about to do.
Mike took two healthy swigs of his beer before he looked back at me. But he still didn't day a word.
"So what do you say, want to give it a try? Best time to watch I suppose while the wives are away for a couple hours." I took another long slug of the bottle.
"Sure why not." Mike said very simply. He reached for a couple slices of cheese and a couple crackers. He sat back in the stuffed chair at one end of the couch.
I sat down on the couch with the remote in one hand and beer in the other. After taking another good swallow I hit 'play'. About thirty seconds of crude credits and back images then we were introduced to a scene of two jocks and a couple of very comely cheerleaders.
Let me just say here, before I go on...my wife and I are now in our fifties and we've had an incredible love life throughout our marriage. We both still have an insatiable thirst for sex. In fact, the beach is like an aphrodisiac for us both and we make love more here in a week than in a month back home. So I was not hard up for a long delayed cum or anything. Besides I was with Mike, my very best friend who I had met through our wives who were best friends in college. Mike has flirted with Joan as much as I've flirted with Katie over the years, but its all been very innocent. For some reason I needed to tell you all that to make it more comfortable to tell you before I realized it I had gotten the start to a hard-on in my shorts as I watched the hot movie. That's right and I found myself giving it an occasional rub, at first out of a necessity to try and keep it down out of sight. But soon I found I was adding to the arousal I was getting from the erotic visuals on the television.
I took generous sips of my second beer.
Suddenly Mike called out, "Those babes can sure blow can't they?"
"Yeah, sure can." I took another sip of beer not taking my eyes off the hot action on the small screen.
"Bet Joan gives a mean blowjob."
"What?" I about choked hearing the question and for the first time in minutes I took my concerted focus off the sucking and licking on the TV. I looked back over at Mike and saw him waiting for an answer. I realized it wasn't just a throw away comment. I took another swallow of beer and my second bottle of the night had disappeared.
I stated simply, "Nope."
"What? You mean she's not that good at it? Damn." Mike shook his head and took another swig from the brown long neck bottle.
"Nope," what else could I say, it was true. "Uh, she doesn't do it at all actually."
"What?" Mike sat up in the chair. "You mean in over twenty years no bj? No way."
"Nope, none, nada." I could feel myself begin to blush. The heat started in my face and quickly descended to my groin which only added to the heat already building there. I reached for a slice of cheese and stuffed it in my mouth as I looked back to see a buxom blonde doing a sixty-nine with her stud boyfriend now, downing his huge man muscle. That view spurred me to ask, "Does Katie give good head?"
"Hell yes!" Mike came back very quickly and very adamantly. "Damn, not that I'd want to give up they heated romps, but the girl could keep me satisfied very well with hot mouth and tongue. Mmm-mmm-mmm."
