CHAPTER 13: SALACIOUS BROTHERS
The two brothers carefully read each and every word of the letter. Eric, Carol, and Gill watch them both, trying their darndest to figure out the meaning of the letters. Cameron was the first to finish. He politely folded the letter up and placed it in his back pocket. Ryan followed up with the same action. The two brothers looked at one another. They shared a knowing glance.
"For fucks sake, don't leave us waiting," Eric burst out.
"Nothing much to tell. He apologized to me and said his goodbyes," Ryan said.
Everyone looked at Cameron. They wanted to hear what Marcus wrote to him as well. Cameron didn't want to divulge the contents of the letter to them.
"It's personal," is all he offered up.
Frustrated, Eric said, "Personal? Oh, come off of it, Cam. He broke it off with you. Just come out and say it."
Cameron fired back, "You don't know shit, Eric. Why are you so invested in this? Don't you have a woman at home to keep you busy?"
"We just made peace as a family. Why can't you two stay the course," Carol asked as she sighed.
Cameron responded, "Because Eric can't keep his nose out of folk business."
"Because you're not telling us anything. Especially when I know the truth."
With a raised eyebrow, Cameron asked, "And just how the hell do you know the truth?"
Everyone looked at Eric. He looked around the room, and then he let out a long sigh. He knew the gig was up.
"Because I encouraged him to end things with the both of you."
Ryan shouted, "What the hell, Eric!"
"You've gone too far, Eric," Carol chastised him.
"I've gone too far," his voice raised above a respectable level. "Me? I didn't protect a pedo. I didn't seduce a family member, and I didn't fuck any of my brother's boyfriend. I happen to think I haven't done enough to live to the standards of this family."
Cameron sneered, "You didn't make a pass at Marcus because you know he would have rejected you. You know you didn't stand a chance."
"I didn't make a pass because I'm not queer. If I had pulled my cock out, he would have taken it. I'm bigger, better, and bolder. From what I learned about him today, that's just the way he likes it," Eric said as he tugged his cock.
Cameron felt a rush of rage. He swung at Eric. His fist connected with the side of Eric's face. Eric quickly returned a punch back to Cameron.
"You really want to fight me over him? I did it to protect you both. You're my brothers!"
"Then say that, Eric. Don't goad me by saying unnecessary shit about someone I love," Cameron shouted.
"You love him? I thought it was just sex. I don't know what to say. I guess all I can say is I'm sorry, but Cam, you're better off without Marcus. You both are. He's a disaster."
Ryan uttered, "Even if that's true. It wasn't your right to take away our choice, Eric."
"None of us are perfect in this mess, but it was our mess to make right. We don't tell you what to do with Jessica. None of us thought she was right for you." The betrayal echoed through Cameron's voice.
"Eric, I know my words don't mean much right now. I've been a terrible father, and I've done some terrible things, but I want you to know that the best thing we can do is let people choose the path that works for them in life. We can't force them to be who we want them to be." Gill knew there was a chance his words could or would fall on deaf ears.
Cameron sucked his teeth, "That's rich coming from you. You spent years trying to force me to be someone and something that I wasn't."
Gill nervously apologized, "I'm sorry."
"DO NOT APOLOGIZE TO ME," shouted Cameron. "I don't want your apology. What I want, you can never give me. You took everything, and just when I thought you couldn't take anything more, you took away my right to tell Marcus. So fuck all of you. I'm out of here!"
Cameron walked out of the house and slammed the door behind him. He slammed it so hard that the picture of the family hanging on the wall fell and broke. Cameron's blood boiled, and his heart raced with passion and fury.
There was a passion for Marcus that still burned deep inside of him, and then there was fury with Gill. He had been ruined more times than he cared to count. Cameron walked to the barn. He needed to be somewhere he felt at peace and in control.
He moved along the path quickly. He was angry and moving with an urgency that was more rage than speed, actually. As soon as he entered the barn, he let out a loud yell and kicked a bale of hay. The two horses in the barn reacted to his aggression.
"So, now you're scaring the horses."
He quickly turned around to find Ryan standing there. He had followed his older brother. Despite everything that had occurred between them, Ryan cared. In fact, he loved Cameron.
"Why are you here," Cameron asked him.
Ryan said as he closed the door, "Someone has to be. Marcus isn't here. He left us both. My letter said he picked his own healing and that we should pick ours as well."
"Yeah, well, Marcus is an idiot. I'm healed already."
"Are you Cam? I'm not, and I haven't had half the things happen to me that happened to you."
"I'm built differently. I can handle things, Ry."
Ryan shouted, "Good! Because I can't. I can't handle my older brother not liking me. I can't handle you thinking we have to always compete. We don't, Cam. We were once closer than anyone in this house."
"Yea, till Gill saw whatever his perverted mind saw, and he turned us against each other."
The barn grew quiet. The two brothers locked eyes on one another. There was so much unspoken love between them. They had become opponents over time, but the love was always there. It had buried deep beneath all the years of resentment.
"He saw that I was queer and in love with my older brother." Ryan's words came out quietly, but they were effective.
The atmosphere in the room changed dramatically. The rage in Cameron's body was replaced with nerves and fear. A certain feeling of uncertainty entered the room.
"Ry, you're confused. That kiss has you saying things that aren't true," Cameron said as he tried to downplay Ryan's words.
Ryan confessed, "That kiss only reminded me of what I buried. I was crazy about you. My big brother was the hottest guy with the most gentle heart. You did everything for me, and I wanted you close to me all the time."
"Ryan, you were too young to be in love with anyone," Cameron said as he shook his head.
Ryan sighed with irritation, "Don't downplay my feelings, Cameron. I thought you were straight and that I never had a chance, and then you took my boyfriend. It broke my heart because I love you both so freakin much."
"I'm sorry about that."
Frustrated, Ryan screamed as he threw his hands up in the air, "Stop apologizing for it. You were trying to protect my feelings last night. You downplayed how you felt, and I knew it. Dad was right about one thing: the way you and Marcus look at each other is so intense. He never looked at me that way. I used to look at you that way."
"Tanner looks at you that way. Ry, Marcus has my heart. I didn't even know I had one. He gets under my skin. He pushes my buttons and pisses me off, but I don't want anyone else to piss me off the way he does. I'll admit that when you kissed me last night, my mind wandered a bit."
"You kissed me back last night. You snuggled up with me in bed. You held me. The love between us goes deeper than either one of us would like to admit. I get that it's scary, but I think we owe it to ourselves to see what sparks could be there because, believe it or not, I got a little jealous watching Marcus get to have you. I got jealous watching you get all his love as well. I'm stuck somewhere in the middle, and I don't want to be stuck. I need to be free. I need you to free Cam."
"Ryan, this is crazy. Where is this coming from?" Cameron could barely form the words to utter. Never had he seen Ryan so needy and vulnerable before.
"From my heart. I want what I saw you give to Marcus. Show me your power, big brother. Fuck me!" Ryan confessed what was once dormant in his heart.
The look in his eyes was pure. He was being honest about everything he was saying. As scary and as taboo as his thoughts were, he was brave enough to stand in his truth. He wanted to explore what could possibly be a deeper and more profound bond between him and Cameron.
Ryan stepped toward Cameron and said, "We're already a salacious family, apparently. We may as well be salacious brothers."
Ryan moved closer to Cameron. With every step he took, Cameron's breathing became shallow. Ryan was bold and daring, and it was truly sexy. He closed in the distance between them. The tiny space between the two of them was instantly filled with the heat of thousands of suns.
Cameron swallowed, "It's hot in here. You hot?" he asked as he pulled on the collar of his shirt, pulling it away from his muscular body.
Ryan slowly licked his lips and said, "Maybe we should get comfortable. No?"