CHAPTER 7: "I SEE YOU"
Cameron slammed his cock into me one last time and buried his face in my neck to muffle his screams as he unloaded his cum deep in my ass. My hand was covered in my own spunk. He slowly withdrew his cock from my ass.
"Oh, fuck," he panted. "I swear I could die in you."
"Don't do that," I said as I turned around and faced him. He was covered in sweat. He looked like he just run the Boston Marathon.
"Are you upset that we just did that," he asked.
I answered truthfully, "A little bit. Ryan is upstairs asleep, and I'm down here letting his older brother fuck me. It says a lot about my character."
Cameron pulled his pants back up, and I slipped my underwear back on. I felt like a shitty person, and there was no excuse for why I had slept with Cameron again. All he did was get me a camera, and I dropped my "panties" again.
"Can I ask you a question," Cameron asked as he took a seat on the stairs.
"Sure."
"Why do you love photography? You're smart from what Ryan has said. You could be anything you want to pick up a camera. Why," he asked.
With a roll of my eyes, I replied, "Why are you asking? I thought you supported it."
"Hey, come on. Just humor me a little bit, Mar." He said it so casually and innocently. He didn't even realize he said it.
Stunned, I asked, "Did you just call me Mar?"
He stuttered, "I-I-what?" As he ran his fingers through his hair, he said, "Don't change the subject on me."
I found myself smiling. Cameron was blushing and his face had turned bright red. That alpha-macho exterior was lowered for a moment, and I saw right through to his heart. His heart may have beat slowly, but it was big. That made me feel safe enough to humor his question.
I exhaled, "I feel seen when I have a camera in my hand. I'm the darkest one in my family. We would go out and take these big family photos and you could never really see me in the pictures. The lighting was never right or angle. For some reason, I always looked like some dark evilness in the photo. I wasn't seen. I wanted to be seen, so I started taking pictures and learning how to capture the light. I fell in love with it. I realized that most people, no matter what, aren't seen, but if you capture them at the perfect moment, they are truly seen. For some people, it's the first time they are ever seen."
He smiled, and then he said, "That's your character. Us fooling around isn't what defines your character. What's in your heart does. Take my photo and tell me what you see."
"It doesn't work that way. I have to capture you when you aren't prepared," I informed him.
"A normal photographer could capture me right now," he said playfully.
I giggled, "Well, you aren't normal, and neither am I. I'd like to think we're a bit more extraordinary."
His smile faded, and he looked down at the ground. I could feel his energy shift. I walked over and took his big, strong hands in mine. He looked up at me, and his eyes were full of sorrow.
"You really think I'm extraordinary," he asked with this aching tone.
I wrapped his arms around my waist and said, "Yeah, I do. The way you just helped me was nothing less than extraordinary. I think underneath your macho exterior is someone the world would love to meet."
"You're just saying that because of my cock," he said with that arrogant, flippant bad boy energy.
I pushed away from him, "Just when I thought we were having a human moment."
"Well, not everyone wants to talk about their fucking feelings, Marcus. I'm not a soft guy," he shouted quietly to not wake anyone.
Shocked, I asked, "And I am? Right. Got it. Fuck you, Cameron!"
"Fuck you, Mar!"
"My name is Marcus, you jackass!"
I stormed past him. He tried to grab my arm, but I snatched it away. He no longer had a right to touch me. I kept opening up, wanting to know him better, and he kept finding ways to be an ass.
"You forgot the camera, MAR!"
"Shove it up your ass, CAM!"
I heard him say, "I'll shove something in you."
I didn't respond. That was what he wanted. He wanted me to play this stupid game of back-and-forth with him. I was burned out on that shit. That night, I crawled into bed, snuggled up to Ryan, and drifted off to sleep.
TWO WEEKS LATER...
I'm one of those people who, when I make up my mind, only God can change it. I had made up my mind that Cameron was no longer someone I cared to interact with. I was polite, maybe even cordial but that was as far as things went. He presented the camera to me at breakfast, so I had to accept it, and the family begged me to take photos. I swear he's a cheeky little bastard at times.
The first few days, Cameron tried his hardest to get me to talk to him. Every step he took was met with defeat. Eventually, he got the message and left me alone. We danced around one another, making sure we didn't rock the boat. It was all going smoothly and according to plan until today.
I woke up feeling refreshed. It was Gill and Carol's (the mother) wedding anniversary. I showered, got dressed, grabbed the camera, and headed down the stairs for breakfast. The home was quiet, minus the chopping sound coming from the kitchen. When I entered, there was only Cameron. He was standing at the kitchen island, chopping up some vegetables. He glanced up at me and then resumed chopping his vegetables.
As he chopped the vegetables, he said, "Since you're not gonna ask, I'll just tell you. We have a family tradition. The kids always take the two love birds fishing first, followed by a spa day, and then out for lunch. I stay home and prepare a meal for the big dinner that consists of family and friends."
It was the first time the two of us had been alone together in two weeks. Everything, every spark of energy I had ever felt for him, slowly started to fill the space. I turned to walk away. I was halfway gone. Why didn't I just keep fucking walking?
He screamed, "Damnit, Marcus, it's been two weeks of torture. How much longer are you going to put me through this silent treatment? I don't like it!"
I quickly spun around, "Tough shit! You play with me like I'm a toy."
"We play with each other like toys," he snapped back.
I shouted, "The hell we do. I tried to get to know you. All you do is sexualize me and push me away. You rather act like some douchebag asshole than a human being. I'm not sure what kind of people you're used to dealing with, but I like for my bad boys to have some emotion and depth to them. It keeps me engaged. This total asshole thing does not work for me."
He put the knife down, snatched the apron off, and said, "I don't know how to talk about my feelings. They were never validated when I was young. So, I feel like they don't matter now."
"Your feelings matter. They matter to me, Cameron." I stood ready for him to finally open up, but he didn't say anything. He stood there fighting within himself to open up and express his feelings. As he struggled to figure out a way to open up, I snapped his photo.
"You took my photo," he asked, almost dumbfounded.
"Now, I see you," I told him.
"What did you see," he asked with a tenderness about himself.
Very gently, I answered, "The persona of a strong man. You're acting how you think the world wants you to act. Inside, you have complex emotions that you're afraid to show. Scared no one will care. There's passion and a need to feel loved. A bad boy with a heart. I see you, Cameron."
"You missed one thing," he said as a tear rolled down the side of his face, "I'm also a guy who is falling in love with his little brother's boyfriend."
"I didn't forget. That was for you to finally say when you were ready," I told him with a smile.
