Ch 7 It Was Always Going to End Badly
As uncomfortable as it was, that conversation with Liza, does buy me some time. Time, I put to good use. I see Oliver every chance that I get and between us, we don't let a second go to waste. Still, I'm feeling antsy. It's been a while since he's fucked me. If I didn't know better, I'd almost think he seems to be avoiding it.
It's driving me crazy. Absolutely wild.
He's on his way over and as I hear his feet on the stairs, I take a leaf out of his playbook. I quickly pull my top off and head to the door, to meet him, in nothing but my jeans.
He raises his eyebrows as I open the door.
"Aren't you cold?" he asks, looking a little amused and something else.
I shrug, "I guess, I'm hot blooded, or something."
"I think, 'or something' just about covers it." He smiles. It's his slow smile, the one that takes over his face gradually, starting in his eyes, working its way down until one corner of his mouth curls up slightly. It's his sinful smile.
My belly flutters.
Yes, please.
He reaches down and pulls my fly open without any preamble. I press my groin forward slightly. I don't need to. I can see by the look in his eyes that he knows how hard I am. I push my jeans down quickly, my underwear too. I stand naked before him. Letting him look. His eyes are like the ocean, stormy and blue, crashing in and then slowly retreating. I can't help it. I like it when he looks at me like this. I like it a lot.
He walks around me, stopping when he's right behind me. He puts his arm around my chest, pulling me towards him tightly, containing me, kissing the base of my neck, making me arch back against him involuntarily.
Oh, God, I want him.
He kisses my neck again. I'm putty in his hands. Hot molten lava. I look back at him to see what I'm dealing with. His lids are lowered, he's scraping his teeth across his bottom lip.
Uh, oh.
"Show me what you're good for." He says darkly.
His words go through me, twisting me. Shocking me a little, but that doesn't mean, I don't quickly comply. One thing is for sure, he has a terrible, terrible power over me.
I take a few steps forward, to the bookshelf. I place both hands on a shelf, spreading my legs, bending my knees slightly, before arching my back. A few short months ago, I honestly would not have believed, I'd be able to conceive of doing something like this.
I hear him draw a long breath.
'Mmmh." He says, as he cups my ass, kneading me, warming me. Truth be told, I was a little cold before, but I'm not anymore.
He kneels behind me, spreading me open, kissing my ass, before really, really kissing my ass. He renders me breathless, with staggering haste.
"Ollie," I say, reaching back, running my fingers through his hair, "I don't want to wait."
He looks up at me, his arousal abundantly clear. I have to be careful now. Experience has taught me, when he's like this, it doesn't take much to tip him over the edge, to unleash the beast. Today, that's not what I want. Today I don't want to struggle and above all, I don't want to wait.
"Please," I say softly, "I don't want to wait, okay?"
He's still looking up at me. Instead of hardening, his eyes soften. He gives me that look, that intense, strange look, as he nods ever so slightly.
Thank God. I don't want to struggle today. I can't fight it today.
He stands behind me, quickly working his way in. I moan from the quick pain of it, that quick little sting, that I love. That I crave. He fucks me fast, until I don't think I can take anymore. Then, he fucks me slowly. For some reason, today, the pleasure's so intense, that slow, is even harder to take.
I moan, then he does. I moan, then he does. Over and over.
"Aaah" he moans with the next thrust, "Ahhloveyou."
Wait.
What did he just say?
I'm still trying to decipher his words.
Is that what I heard?
When my body reacts without my consent. I twist round and reach back, my mouth open, as I search for his tongue.
He comes instantly and though I'm quite shaken, I follow suit not long after.
*
It was probably just the heat of the moment,
I tell myself later. It was a very hot moment. I try desperately not to over-think it. This thing between us, has always been a hook-up situation. I know it's crazy intense and I don't know how to explain this thing between us, but I've been very careful never to offer him more. I'm committed to Liza. Liza and I are on-track for marriage. We've always been.
Surely, he knows that. Doesn't he?
When he says it again, a week or two later, I can't deny it. I didn't see this coming. I didn't expect him to feel this way. I feel shocked and afraid when I think about it. I'm afraid for him and I'm afraid for Liza. I'm afraid that no matter what I do now, I'm going to hurt someone.
I don't need Common Sense to tell me,
I'm headed for trouble.
Liza corners me again, at roughly the same time.
"We need to talk." She says.
This time, she sits me down firmly and there's no getting away from it, we are
going
to talk. Her lease is up in three months. She's worked up a little project plan, and she talks me through it, step by step. Over the course of this quick conversation, I find myself thoroughly educated and very well informed, as to what the next few decades of my life, are going to look like.
I don't mean to make it sound like a nightmare. Of course not. This is what we both want. What we both wanted, right from the start. It's just that right now, my life is a little more complicated, than I ever imagined it being. A lot more, actually.
You have to tell him,
says The Dreamer,
you have to talk to him
, as I lie in bed hours later, my eyes open wide, in the black of the night.
I try to ignore the tension in my chest, and even more than that, I try to ignore the feeling, that as I lie there, it feels as if the walls all around me, are slowly closing in.
*
The trials of the night are forgotten, the second I open the door and see him the next day. He's been for a haircut and he has that fresh, crisp look about him. I run my hand up the back of his neck, feeling the velvety prickles of his newly shaved hair. I reach down with my other hand, feeling the weight, the length and the girth of him. The walls aren't closing in now. Far from it. Now, all my concerns give way, to something that falls neatly under the banner of lust.
He slaps my hand away, playfully.
"You gonna be like that, huh?" I growl.
God, I like it when he puts up a fight.
I pull him towards me, kissing him hard. Opening his mouth roughly with my tongue. Claiming him. That seems to subdue him a little, so I undress him slowly. I can't take my eyes off him, as he stands there, naked. I can't look away, and even if I could, I don't think I'd want to. He gives me a little push and a lascivious grin, as he breaks from my grip and goes running down the hall, to my room.
A wild, crazy laugh comes bubbling out of me with such force, it reminds me of the carefree way I used to laugh as a boy. So hard, my face would contort and my belly would ache. I chase him down the hall, running full speed, only to catch him as he throws himself on the bed. I swing my arm back and land a hard slap on his ass, just as he launches himself into the air.
"Ow! Fuck." He cries, looking back at me with shock and indignance, reaching back and rubbing the cheek, I've just blistered.
Oh, God, he's cute.
"Aw," I tease, "want me to kiss it better?"
"Stop it." He says, wriggling and trying to get away.
I hold him down and liberally rub and kiss his pink cheek. By now, he should know, his struggling does it for me.
"Stop it." He says again, but his voice is different this time. We both know it.
"Hmm," I say thoughtfully, as I roll him onto his side, "want me to kiss anything else."
There's a quick flash in his eye, as he assesses me, rolling his eyes as he says, "Fine, just kiss my dick."
"Uh, uh," I smile, "You've gotta ask nicely." Though, right then, I confess, my voice doesn't sound awfully nice.
