The morning after his first time getting and giving a blowjob with another man was sort of disappointing, but not for the reasons he expected. Ben woke up alone. He got up and showered, dressed in his clothes from the night before, expecting to see Dean when he was finished, but the apartment was empty.
He'd thought that he'd feel weird about everything in the light of morning, but somehow it felt right, being with Dean. It was all so new and fresh that it made him feel young again, his heart beating excitedly when he remembered the night before.
After a quick search, partially fueled by voyeurism into Dean's life, he discovered a note taped to the door. 'Went for a run. Your phone is on charger in kitchen, I put my phone # in there. You really should set a lock screen.' It wasn't signed.
He found his phone, fully charged, and pulled it from the plug. He had four missed calls and fifteen text messages. Two from Justin asking him where he went. The other thirteen were from Hugh, the first two asking him where he was, the next five describing how much of a motherfucker he was, then the last six were just random emojis.
He texted Justin back letting him know he'd left, and he was fine. It was early, only seven fifteen, so he figured Justin would still be asleep and didn't wait for a return text before pocketing his phone. He waited for a few minutes for Dean to return, but each minute without Dean there made him antsy.
He left. The sun wasn't up yet, though it was light enough to see. The air was crisp and cool, and he warmed up quickly as he started his walk home. He could have waited for Dean to get back, but he wanted to think, and it wasn't that far of a walk, only a few miles.
His junk ached from last night. It had taken almost half an hour for his raging boner to calm down, and now the whole area, especially his balls, felt sore and too-tight. He shifted himself in his pants, the memory of Dean sucking his dick, of Dean's taste on his tongue reigniting his lust.
Surprisingly, the thing his tired mind kept coming back to the most was the feel of Dean sleeping next to him. Dean seemed hyper-aware of where Ben was, and avoided even the most accidental of brushes, but he'd still let Ben sleep in bed with him.
Ben was feeling good by the time he got home, and spent most of the day revisiting the night before. Was he gay now? He wasn't sure, but the thought didn't upset him like he thought it would've. He texted Dean to let him know he'd gotten home, and thanked him again for picking him up, then followed it up with a winky-eyed emoji.
He was in the middle of laundry when his memories of the night before made him unable to focus on anything else. His loins ached as his manhood filled, and his laundry was easily forgotten. He went to his darkened room and laid down on the bed, his cock in his hand before his head hit the pillow.
He thought about Dean, about how commanding he'd been, but also how considerate. Remembered the taste of his cum and how it coated his mouth, and the feel of his perky little nipples between his lips. He shot off way too soon, his cum bursting from him like champagne. The fluid seemed thicker than normal, and smelled sort of bleachy.
He touched it, picking some up on his fingers and thought about tasting it, but the thought was revolting. As he cleaned himself up he thought about Dean's cum and swallowed hard, nervous and excited. Should that bother him?
Shrugging it off, he went back to work. Justin called him a little after four.
"Hey, asshole, where'd you go last night," Justin asked as way of greeting.
"To your mom's house," he replied, the response automatic.
"My mom would chew you up and spit you out. No, seriously, where'd you go?"
He rested the phone between his head and his shoulder, then gave up as it slipped and put it on the counter and turned the speaker on. He returned to meal prep for the week. "I wasn't feeling it last night. I got a ride. The music was too loud, and the strippers were just okay." He hadn't lied. Yet.
"Why didn't you just get us to move to another place? You ditched us," Justin whined.
Ben shrugged, chopping cauliflower from the head. "I dunno. Wasn't feeling it last night. I just wanted to leave. Also, Hugh was being milked dry by the stripper who looked kinda like Phoebe from Friends. He wouldn't've left."
Justin exhaled over the line. "Yeah, you're right. Are you feeling better, at least? You've been so weird lately."
"Oh, I'm great," he said, absolutely feeling it.
"Did last night really make you feel that much better?" Justin asked.
Ben snorted. "Yes, Justin, it really did." He thought of Dean, and wondered what he was doing.
"Oh. Well, that's good, then. Yeah, so, I just wanted to make sure shit was good. Like I said, you've been weird lately."
"Weird can be good," he said, still thinking of Dean.
"Not that kinda weird. Anyway, I'm going to Angela's parents for dinner, so yee-haw, hopefully I survive. If I don't show up for work call the cavalry, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah," he said. "I'm sure you'll be fine."
"You really do sound better," Justin mused. "I missed ya."
"You're a butt," Ben said. "Talk to you later."
He checked for a text from Dean, but other than a notification that it had been read, there was nothing new. He frowned, then went back to kitchen prep. Halfway through his mind wandered back to Dean sucking him off, which had him cleaning up and returning to his bedroom for a second time that day.
His dick was sore, but also hard and needy, so he couldn't ignore it. He closed his eyes, thinking about Dean. The thought of him over Dean's lap, heavy handed smacks landing evenly on his ass was hot, and brought him close, but not close enough. He'd already come once, so he needed more to get off a second time. He pictured Dean in his head, Ben on his hands and knees in front of him, those thin, cold fingers pushing his head down onto his long sword.
"You're such a freak, DeLuca," fantasy Dean told him, thrusting his hips into Ben's mouth. "Do you want my cum?"
"Yes," he moaned aloud, his hips bucking up off the bed as he came. This one felt better than the earlier one, but nothing compared to how it felt to come in Dean's mouth. After his orgasmic daze passed he sat up, then checked his phone again. Still nothing from Dean.
He decided to text again, perhaps Dean had been busy. Hey. Just wanted to check in. Thanks again for last night.
He watched it send, then watched as the 'read' notification appeared under it. He waited for a response, but nothing came. A few hours later he checked again, and still nothing. Frowning, he decided to call, feeling the need to hear Dean's voice.
It went to voicemail. He didn't leave a message. He called again half an hour later, and the same pattern repeated itself. He didn't want to let it get him down, maybe he was just overreacting. He'd see Dean at work, and everything would be fine.
Except it wasn't. Dean was avoiding him again. Ben only caught sight of him once, in the halls, but Dean ducked out of sight before he could get to him. At first he was worried that Dean was mad at him, but it didn't feel right. Was Dean trying to burn his week so he'd lose? Did he regret being with Ben?
That was probably it, the second one. He'd fought against being with him, still scarred from his relationship with Parker. Jealousy burned in Ben's belly, emotion he wasn't expecting hitting him like a sucker punch. Did Dean still like Parker?
He tried his best to catch Dean on Monday, but missed. Dean didn't return text messages or answer his phone. Tuesday wasn't much better, and now Ben was too distracted with Dean to focus on his work, which meant he'd stayed late to fix stupid mistakes. He half hoped that Dean would be sitting in his car, but it was empty.
He drove by Ben's apartment, unsure why, other than he wanted to be close to him. He saw Ben's car parked in the open lot as he drove by, feeling like a stalker. He wanted to park and go upstairs, demand answers from Dean, but he didn't have a way into the building, and he wasn't a stalker. Instead, he sent another text. 'We need to talk'.
His phone buzzed in his hands, surprising him. Dean's answer was simple. 'No.'
Well, that wasn't going to do. He drove around, thinking about everything, his mind hopping from one thing to another, never settling too long on any one thought. He found himself outside a large bookstore, the parking lot nearly empty. More for something to do other than drive around, he went inside.
He thought as he walked, browsing without actually looking at anything until he found the giant wall of Funko Pop toys. It was an entire isle, from floor to the top shelf full of hundreds of different figurines. He smiled, thinking of Yoda and Darth Vader, an idea forming in his mind. He picked up an Ewok figurine, mostly because it was adorable and he didn't remember seeing it on Dean's desk, then made his way to the front.
The cashier wrapped it for him and tied it up with a nice bow, then gave him a small card to write a message in. The wrapping paper was red and covered in colorful balloons. Ben smiled, then drove to work. He scrawled a message on the card sitting in the parking lot, then slipped inside. There wasn't anyone in Dean's department this late, so he was able to sneak in and place it on his desk without being seen.
And then he waited, anxious and excited. And waited. Half of Wednesday was over, and his anxiety was through the roof. He sent Dean a text, just three question marks.
An hour later he got a picture of the Funko Pop he'd given Dean, on the ground between a united Yoda and Darth Vader. He chuckled, and typed out 'you like?'.
There was no response.
Ben worked late again that night, mostly just to avoid anyone seeing him creep into the IT department with a half-baked plan. He snapped a few quick pictures of the Funko Pop figures on Dean's desk, then drove straight to the bookstore.
One of the figures that caught Ben's attention was Malcolm Reynolds, the captain of Serenity, a Firefly class ship from the show Firefly. It was one of Ben's favorite shows, cancelled before a second season could be made. A movie had redeemed some of the loss, but not enough, in his opinion.
Hoping it was a thing they shared a common love over, Ben bought three other characters from the show, spending over an hour combing through every figurine on the shelves, stacked three high and three deep. He couldn't find Zoe Washeburn at the store, so he bought her over the internet for an extra ten dollars. The same cashier as before smiled as she wrapped them individually, but he could tell she was annoyed. If they didn't want to wrap presents, they shouldn't offer it as a service.
Thursday he left Kaylee Fry and Jayne Cobb, wrapped in solid blue paper with shiny green ribbons. He wasn't surprised when Kaylee and Jayne, still in their boxes, were surrounded by Darth Vader, Yoda, the Ewok, and a Stormtrooper in a text later that afternoon. He didn't text back.
Friday was Zoe and Hoban Washburne, wrapped in silver paper with gold ribbons. He hadn't gotten Zoe in the mail until the night before, so he'd snuck into work extra early so he didn't get caught putting them on Dean's desk.
Mid Friday morning he sent Dean a text, just a smiley face emoji and a heart. Dean's reply was nearly instant. 'Car. Now.'
