Begrudgingly Yours

ASH'S POV

The hours had flown by faster than I'd realized. We had three hours before we were due to meet with my father at the hotel and still so much information to go over. Liam and the others were about to step into a world that, until now, had been a mystery to them. They knew that Vampires existed, obviously, but relations between Vampires and Shifters had never been good and in the last few centuries, the Vampires had all but vanished from public eye.

We moved among humans when we had to but the key to our survival had always been secrecy and isolation. We no longer hunted humans and fed on them. That practice had been stopped nearly three hundred years ago. Most of our kind had resorted to drinking blood harvested from live stock that we raised on our own lands. Others used a synthetic blood substitute called SynthoLife. It was disgusting, in my opinion, but came in handy in a pinch. Personally, I preferred deer or cattle.

Hunting humans though was forbidden and punishable by death. We didn't feed on other supernaturals either, including our own kind. Blood letting between Vampires was a kink left for the bedroom and only legal between consenting adults. These were just a few of the rules my people lived by, laws put in place to protect our kind from discovery and persecution. Other laws were made to keep us in line. As we made our way to the library, where Liam was waiting for us, I was going over these laws in my head, wishing now that I'd paid more attention to my lessons.

There were laws for almost everything in Vampire society. Laws regarding siring (changing a human), laws concerning titles, ranks, lands, owning businesses, working or consorting with humans. And of course, there were laws about mating. Particularity where omegas were concerned. In the old days, omegas were viewed as property and either sold or traded like cattle. We had no rights at all. The laws in place were not created us to protect us as much as subjugate us.

Things were a bit different now. We had more rights and were no longer considered property by the council. Unfortunately, there were those--mostly elders--who still held onto more antiquated beliefs regarding omega ownership. When I stood before the council, my rights as an individual--or property-- would come into question. I just hoped the council had enough compassion to see my side of things. Otherwise, my fate could be looking very, very bleak.

Jai opened the door to the library and went in. I followed behind. I had expected to see Liam there but surprised to see not only Carter but another man that I didn't recognize. He looked to be in his early to mid thirties, was around six foot maybe and slender. His hair was brown with flecks of early gray throughout and eyes that were the color of blue-jays. He had an air of sophistication about him that made him seem like be belonged in a university library, hidden behind a stack of old books.

He looked up when I entered the room. His eyes locked on me at once, sharp and assessing and then, his lips curled into the hint of a smile though it seemed more out of amusement than warmth. "So, this is the little Vampire I've been hearing about? He doesn't seem to be as much of a threat as Tomas made him out to be."

"I'm not a threat at all." I told him, crossing my arms over my chest. "Vampire's aren't the blood-thirsty monsters you Shifters seem to think we are."

"Ash, chill." Jai shot me a warning glare and I frowned.

The other man didn't seem offended at my remark at all. In fact, he chuckled then turned to Liam. "Spirited, isn't he?"

"Very." Liam said, shaking his head as he gave me a sideways glance.

"Ash, this is Sloan." Jai introduced the man. "He's kind of like a chancellor. He knows all the Pride laws and traditions and makes sure they're followed properly."

I nodded then turned to Sloan. "It's nice to meet you." I said, giving him a half smile as I still wasn't too sure if he was a friend or not.

"And, you've already met Carter." Jai inclined his head toward the man seated next to Sloan. I had seen him before but he hadn't spoke much and, like Sloan, I had no idea where Carter stood. Liam's Pride were loyal to him and I knew they would follow him no matter what but that didn't mean they had to agree.

"Yes. Carter, nice to see you again." I said, giving him the same smile I had given Sloan.

He nodded, acknowledging me for a brief moment, then turned to Sloan and whispered close to his ear, assuming I couldn't hear what he said.

I did.

'Nice, isn't the word I'd use.'

I cringed then looked to Jai for reassurance. He smiled warmly then took my hand and led me to the love seat where we sat beside each other, Jai still holding my hand while resting it on his knee.

For a moment everyone remained silent. Sloan and Carter glanced through a folder that Sloan had laid out on the coffee table in front of them and Liam stood before the fireplace, his back to us, and one elbow propped on the mantle. I wondered why no one spoke, then the door suddenly opened and, to my surprise, Victor walked in.

I looked up and our eyes met and suddenly it felt as if all the air in the room had just been sucked out. I had to literally force myself to stay in my seat and not run straight into his arms. Again I was confused at this reaction to a man I barely knew but then his scent hit me. Earth, pine, and musk. It smelled amazing, so amazing I imagined myself wrapped around him, his strong arms holding me up as I nuzzled into his neck, taking him in until I was swimming in his scent.

I closed my eyes and thought of the kiss from earlier. That soft, brief kiss on my cheek. Then I imagined what it would feel like to have his lips pressed against mine, his arms holding me tight against his body. I imagined his tongue slipping into my mouth as his hands roamed my body, pushing me down as he lowered himself on top of me...

God, I wanted him. I wanted him in a way I've never wanted any other man or thought I never would. I wanted to open myself up to him, give myself to him, over and over again. A shudder ran down my spine and throughout my entire body, making me shiver. Jai squeezed my hand and I opened my eyes. Everyone was staring at me. Even Victor who was now sitting on the couch beside Carter. Liam had turned around to face us and he too was staring at me, expectantly.

"Ash." Jai said, gently. "Liam asked you a question."

He had? I was so lost in my fantasy that I hadn't even heard him. "Um...I'm sorry. What did you ask?"

Liam looked a bit annoyed as he repeated his question. "I asked, if you wouldn't mind sharing a bit about what happened. Why you came here for help. Sloan, Carter, and Victor only know that you ran from your father but they don't know why."

I froze in alarm and my eyes immediately went to Victor who was listening, intently. There was no way, no way that I could tell him, or the others, but especially him. My hands began to shake and I felt sick to my stomach. Again, Jai squeezed my hand, trying to ease my anxiety.

"You don't have to go into detail." He told me, his voice barely raised above a whisper. "They don't need to know everything, just why you can't go home right now."

I nodded, then blew out a breath to calm my nerves. "Okay."

For the next five minutes or so I explained to them why I had run away and how I ended up in their territory. I told them about being promised to Niklas and I swear I heard a small growl coming from Victor then. I told them how I'd rejected him and then I said he'd forced his way into my room, telling me that I didn't have the right to reject him because he owned me. I didn't tell them the full truth of what happened that night. I only said that he manhandled me, hit me, and I was afraid for my life so I stabbed him.

I told them about fainting in my father's arms and then waking in the infirmary where I learned that Niklas wasn't dead and that I would have to stand before the council. I told them what my punishment for such a crime could possibly be. Either forced into a blood bond with Niklas or buried alive. I told them how I had been remanded to my room under guard until the council arrived and then how I had snuck out through the hidden passage ways that led to the beach, eventually ending up in Jai and Liam's bedroom.

The entire account was hard to tell, even with leaving out the worst of it. I had my eyes cast down, studying the hardwood floor and the intricate patterns of the throw rug, unable to look anyone in the eye as I spoke. I had no idea what their reactions would be. Pity? Anger? Maybe disgust. When I did finally look up though, my eyes went straight to Victor, praying to what ever God would listen that he didn't hate me now. What I saw in his eyes though wasn't hate, or pity. It was rage. His clawed hand had ripped through the leather on the arm of the couch and his jaw was tense, almost snarling. Carter had his hand on Victor's shoulder as though holding him down.

I inched closer to Jai, pressing myself against him and he quickly wrapped an arm around me protectively.

"When I get my hands on that bastard..." Victor sneered.

"You will do nothing." Liam said, sharply.

"The hell I won't!" Victor was on his feet, glaring menacingly at Liam. Everyone else in the room had shocked expressions on their faces. They hadn't expected this reaction from Victor and honestly, neither had I.

"You can't seriously expect me to just stand by and do nothing." Victor shouted. His fists were clenched and his face was turning red with rage.

"I expect you to do your job." Liam told him, his voice calm, soothing, as though he were speaking to a wild animal. And, in a sense, he was.

"I thought my job was to keep him safe."

"Yes, to keep him safe. Not to murder the man Ash is accused of stabbing. Do you think that will help his cause?"

Victor was silent for a moment, obviously considering Liam's words carefully. The outrage was still evident in his expression though. "If he lays one more finger on Ash, if he even tries, proceedings be damned, I will take him out."

"As Ash's Champion that would be your right." It was Sloan who spoke now. "As I understand it, from what Jai has told me."

My eyes snapped to Jai. "Champion? What does that mean?"

"A Champion is someone will speak for you, be your voice, and protect you when and if you stand trial." Carter answered before Jai had the chance.

"I know what a champion is!" I snapped, turning my attention to Carter. I hadn't meant to sound so hostile. These men were here to help me but I was suddenly in a panic hearing that Victor had been chosen to stand at my side. "I meant, why would Liam ever put Victor in that position?"

"For your protection." Victor answered. I turned and saw him looking straight at me. The anger had vanished from his face, replaced by something that looked almost like hurt.

I shook my head. "I don't need protection. We're only meeting with my father for Christ's sake. He's not going to hurt me, especially not when we're meeting with him to request sanctuary. If he harmed me or any of you in anyway then he'd be in violation of the treaty."

Victor narrowed his eyes. "Then you have nothing to worry about."

"No, you're wrong." I blurted. "Don't you realize, if you identify yourself as my Champion for this meeting then you are declaring yourself Champion for any future appearances before my father or the council."

"And?" He crossed his arms over his chest, looking more defiant and smug now, obviously not understanding the gravity of what he had agreed to.

"Ash, this is just a precaution." Liam stepped in. "I just want to make sure that all of our bases are covered. If something were to happen at this meeting then I need to know that you're going to be safe."

"You don't understand." I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration, then turned to Jai. "Didn't you explain to them what could happen at the trial?"

"I..." He looked at me, confusion written across his face.

"You forgot?" I was flabbergasted. How could he have missed that one vital piece of information?

"I'm sorry, Ash. I don't know what you're talking about."

I groaned, rolling my eyes. "The right of vengeance, Jai!"

His eyes suddenly went wide and his face blanched. "Oh, shit." He whispered, his eyes turning to Liam. "I forgot. Liam, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." Liam placed a hand on Jai's shoulder then looked at me. "What is the right of vengeance?"

I took a deep breath, calming myself before I spoke again. "I stabbed a man. Nearly killed him. To be attacked by someone weaker, especially one meant to be your mate, it's a huge dishonor. If I'm found not guilty Niklas could be stripped of land and title and be shunned for his weakness. His only way to restore that honor is by challenging me. At any time during the trial he could request a trial by blood. A fight to the death. To refuse an honor challenge would be seen as weakness or cowardice in the eyes of the council. The challenger would automatically win and the loser punished accordingly...

In the case of an omega though, instead of refusing, I could choose a champion, someone who would fight on my behalf. If I don't choose, then usually my father would chose someone on my behalf. But, if Victor is already named as my champion, he, by law must accept or lose the challenge by default."

Liam stiffened hearing my explanation. "What is the punishment for refusing a challenge under Vampire law?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "It would be up to the challenger. Sometimes the council may step in and declare a punishment but usually it's the challenger. The punishment could be anything really. Flogging, branding, maybe even death. In most cases for Vampire's, the punishment is mutilation and then exile."

"What do they consider mutilation?" Sloan asked.

"Ripping out their fangs." I answered.

Carter raised an eyebrow. "Really? That seems a rather light sentence considering the other punishments."

"It's not." Jai told them. "It's a long, slow, and painful death. Vampire's are able to eat regular foods but they provide no nourishment. For a full blooded vampire, drinking blood is required to live. No fangs means no hunting. Eventually they would starve to death."

"How have you managed to survive without drinking blood then?" Carter asked Jai.

"I'm a hybrid." Jai explained. "I can survive without blood. Ash can't. Which is another problem. If his champion refuses or loses the challenge, Ash will be punished as well."

"But Ash could live without hunting, couldn't he?" Victor took a step forward, concern etched across his face.

"Maybe." I admitted. "For a while. The older a Vampire is longer we can go without blood. I'd last maybe a month without feeding at all. Eventually I'd need blood though. If I had my fangs removed I'd be cut off from any sources of synthetic blood because it's only produced and sold within the vampire community. I would also be cut off from their blood banks. So, unless I could raise my own live stock and harvest the blood myself or find someone to hunt for me, I'd pretty much be dead."

"I'd hunt for you." Victor announced with a low growl. And, Oh. My. God. Just the sound of that husky, resonate, rumble made my entire body shiver with desire. But, I couldn't let my carnal desires distract me from a topic as important as this. "I appreciate the sentiment." I told him. "But that's not the point. If Niklas challenges me, and there's a damn good chance he will, you would be forced to fight in my place. Victor, you could be seriously injured or worse...killed."

"You don't think I'm strong enough to win?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know how strong you are. I don't know you well enough to know how well you fight. I do, however, know that Niklas is a 120 year old psychopathic Vampire who's never lost a challenge in his long and worthless life." I sunk back against the love seat, crossing my arms over my chest like a pouting child.

Victor smiled, nearly melting my heart, and other parts... God he was so handsome. But more than that, there was something about him that made me want to protect him as hard as he was trying to protect me. "You know me better than you think." He said in that same low, forceful pitch that I was really beginning to love. "But, at any rate, I have something your asshole of an EX doesn't have."

I sneered. "He's not my Ex. I never agreed to mate with him. But anyway, what's that?"

Victor's gaze flickered down, then back to mine, steadier than ever. His voice dropped, thick and unguarded. "The need to fight for something stronger than pride and more precious than honor. Something I'd bleed for, die for. Something that means more to me than my own life. Something that Niklas could never understand and has likely never felt in his long life. That something is the reason I won't lose, because I can't lose you, Ash. You're what matters most to me."

His words reached out and wrapped themselves around me, enveloping me in a cocoon of warmth and belonging. That powerful pull returned and I was consumed with the need to be near Victor, in his arms, embracing him as he embraced me. I needed to feel and be connected...completed. That was it, this feeling. It was a need to be complete and without Victor, I would never be complete.

I felt myself rising off the love seat and crossing the room before my mind could even comprehend what was happening. I had forgotten all about the trouble I was in, about Niklas, even my father. All I could focus on was Victor. My breath caught in my throat as the world around us disappeared. One could say I was in a trance but it was stronger than that, more magical, spiritual almost. Some mystical force drew me to him and for the moment, I existed in a space outside of reality, a space inhabited only by him and me.

I was in his arms in an instant, staring up into his gorgeous brown eyes and when I opened my mouth, only one word escaped. Soft and breathy. "Mate"

"Mate." He repeated, then scooped me up into his strong arms and pressed his lips to mine. Kissing Victor was absolute bliss. Every fear I'd once had about intimacy, about being someones mate, had completely vanished. Now, being held in his arms, I couldn't imagine ever being without him, ever being alone. He wasn't someone that I chose or someone that had been chosen for me, he was made for me and I was made for him. We were fated to be together, our union had been written in the stars, long before either of us had ever been born.

Why I hadn't realized it before I can only blame on being traumatized by what Niklas had done to me. I was scared. Scared to open up to someone else. Scared to love or allow myself to be loved. I was scared nearly every moment since that night. Jumping at shadows and always looking behind me, ready for some monster to jump out and grab me, hurt me, take me by force. I didn't feel safe. Even in Liam and Jai's home I hadn't felt safe, not really.

Even after I ran, after I was wrapped in warmth and Kindness and family, that sense of dread never left me. It clung to the edges of my mind like a shadow that no amount of light could chase away. It felt like there was always something lurking, just out of sight. Always something waiting to hurt me again.

But then...I met Victor.

At first, I didn't know what to make of him but the signs had always been there, right in front of me. The tiny flickers of warmth, the inexplicable pull toward him. My brain screaming at me to trust him, to let him in.

But I didn't even trust myself. Not enough to believe that what I was feeling was real. Not after everything I'd been through. I tried to push those feelings away. I built walls around my heart, stacked high with fear and shame and the deep, soul-crushing belief that I wasn't worthy of being loved.