Barry's Big Balls
Part 2: Balls 2 the Wall
By: Azburglar
I'm not sure what I had been thinking when I did it. Surely, I wasn't of the right sort of mind at the time. Not when I chose a picture of those twins of his. Swollen, wrinkled, hanging down low below him in a way indicative of their humongous size and weight. Heavy to hold, smooth, but can swing fast and hard when push comes to shove. Much bigger they looked in person; the camera adding pounds not apparently applicable to fleshy globe shaped appendages. A glistening bead of sweat blotted the left one; the photograph was not a simple image either but an Iphone Live Photo. Every time my aroused digit slid across him, I'd see them jostle about, alive and hypnotizing, enormous and frightening, for a brief moment before the digitized jpeg teasingly stilled.
He probably thinks of me as some conquered person. A sucker he won one over on, both literally and figuratively. If he doesn't, it's not for want of evidence. How could I even face him anymore? Not when he left me like that. So covered in it, my face sticking, hair crumpled with it, anus searing, debauched, drooling out the sides of my contorted parted lips, caked in filth, wafting musk and foul body odor, ribs squeezing, kneeling on his floor, Nick eavesdropping, and my own flaccid penis utterly spent and exhausted. It had been a month since then.
A bright and melodic series of soft chiming notes awakened me and I grabbed at my phone.
"Barry?"
"It's Nick."
I pretended to cough into my phone.
"Did you text him?"
"Nah, just having a dream. You woke me up."
"Yeah, if that's who you're dreaming of. Well, you might want to check your sheets."
"Enough of that. Trust me. It was nothing to dream about. Gross. I've had trouble sleeping since. Serious insomnia."
"I bet. You need sunlight. I think it'd help if we could discuss what happened. Just saying. It'll give you some relief. Getting things off your chest."
"Nah, that'll make it even worse. Enough of your exposure therapy. It's bullshit. I need the opposite of that. A rasa of the tabula. Amnesia. That Jim Carrey movie where they delete specific memories. Is there someplace you can do that? I bet in China. If anyone would have the technology to format a brain like a hardrive; it'd be the Chinese."
"You can sit in the pool and soak rays at my mom's. I'll relax under the ramada for shade, listen and type on my laptop. Take proper notes. Totally confidential. We can look for solutions on the net using mom's wifi. Surely there are other accounts of people. Ones who encountered him and struggled to cope. I recall there may even be a Reddit community devoted to them. Have you tried the latest Chat GPT? It's awfully slick."
"Your right, Chat GPT ought to know how to erase hard encoded brain memories."
Two days later I was at that dumpy place that never sweeps the floor, but I go to because it still sells blue Monster Zeros. My phone began chiming and when I pulled it out of my pocket I saw them. Barry's beautiful humongous balls. My hand clawed at the phone like a cornered honey badger.
The call sputtered, clicked, connected and over the phone's speaker I immediately heard a cascade of feminine moaning and grunting.
The heavyset older woman clerking the cramped superette stared coldly at me and grimaced through her sagging jowls.
Quickly, I ducked into the brown tiled men's room which appeared thankfully empty, dirty it was with cracked mirrors and cigarette butts and tall empty beer cans in the trash and had only a slight fecal smell. I concentrated and I could hear them. They were slapping loudly against the woman's flesh. Where exactly they smacked against was unclear but what was certain was their steady and familiar cadence.
Through thick gasps, the woman's voice sounded through the phone in a sleazy California elocution, "Gawd, Barry, you, unh, seriously calling someone right now?" A droplet of cool sweat dropped from my forehead on to the lit screen.
"Whoops," Barry muttered in a muffled voice.
The raw jungle slapping sound continued in sequence, sharp given the sheer mass involved and in measure with haughty San Fernando valley femme grunting, and its congruence with the wafting odor of the soiled latrine reminded me of school field trips to the primate exhibit at the sweltering zoo. Some fumbling noise distortions sounded, and the call abruptly hung up leaving the dirty men's room in silence.
A commode flushed loudly before the stall door creaked as a short older man with a beer belly bowed out from his municipal code metered stall. Without a wash, he slapped his right hand against my left shoulder. "Brudha, that was music," he said in a voice that was rancid and alcoholic but also moved and full of raw emotion. "The sound of dem. Slappin. Must've been big'uns. It's been ahhwhile, son. Since I felt its mighty presence. Looming large as it tends. Could yous feel it was there? 'Eh son?" When he raised his palm from my shoulder, I saw a grease strain where it had been. From the smell I surmised that an oily burrito lathered in hot sauce explained both the blemish on my shirt and his reason for being where he just was.
Over fifty thousand people stood, hooted, and bellowed as the quarterback of the Cards, flanked on all sides by berserking, enraged bulls, raised his bloated bicep that strained against the red nylon seams of his scuffed jersey sleeve, chucked the fucker, and the pigskin spun, swiveled, and glided and somehow I imagined I could hear it whistling despite how improbable that would be over the roaring crowd before landing right into the willing sticky gloves of the Card's nimble receiver. What proceeded was the USA's version of the running of the bulls with some bovines soaked red on account of an earlier gristly sequence of vicious gorings and ghastly dismemberment. The heat scorched and a sputtering blimp carrying a flapping advertisement for Cialis hovered above in the invariably desiccated cerulean sky. Upon touchdown, a burning and vehement rock anthem belted out the amped loudspeakers provoking feverish rhythmic stomping.
I wiped thick sweat off my singed brow. "Fuck, I need a beer!" I yelled. "I know it's not cheap but otherwise I'm gonna stroke out here! You want one as well? A brisk cold foamer."
"Water, please!" Nick responded as he eyed the greens below before blinking. He was smart to have worn a brimmed ball cap that shaded himself from the blistering and discerning rays of scorching sunlight.
I bartered a tallboy of devil's ale while taking refuge in the shade and misters behind the stands. When turning a corner in search of a water peddler, I thudded into another man, swole, and sweating. When I looked up, I recognized him, went white, goosebumps on my arms, shook, looked away, and said nothing. My ribs squeezed against one another like I had a black hole atop my liver. My whole body trembled and struggled against the urge to break into a full sprint away from him.
"Well, well, well," Barry responded with a smirk on his face and puffed out his thick chest. "I can't go anywhere without running into one of my slutty bimbos. Sorry I haven't texted. I had other bitches to attend to. You know how it is. Or let's be real. Likely you don't. It's got to be hard. Being in your position. Getting just a brief taste only to return to a state of desperate starvation."
"L-look," I stammered. "T-things got a little out of hand. I want to just be friends. You know, what happened, happened. I never much cared for sequels, I'm sure you know."
"When you're starving like that, your guts start to get all gnarled up inside." Barry continued. "It's rough. Circumstances like yours. God, it's hot out today. Look, bitch, I'll do you a lil favor. It's like a rainforest down there. I'm sure its starting to stink. Why don't you help cool things off a bit? You'd like that right? Cleaning up. Especially after how messy it got last time. There's a place for men-only right past that corner. I'll play quarterback and you wide receiver. Or maybe cheerleader. Yeah, with that slick throat you've got and those flexible cheeks. I bet you could belt out a real good whoop whoop. Don't worry slut, I'll give you something to cheer on and on about."
The way the Cards punter loped at it. Almost like a dance. The virescent turf to him was akin to an open show stage. Like one of those national talent contests they used to show on prime-time broadcast networks. As if he is allotted his one chance to blow his load in front of fifty thousand people all hoping for it to be as nasty as possible, along with who knows how many perverts watching the debauched spectacle on discount sets purchased from valley super stores. He nailed it, even scowling curmudgeon Piers Morgan swooped thumb, and the crowd roared, craving it, and hopeful that they might be coated in the same very stuff themselves, like the soak zone at Sea World. Huge muscular men rammed and pounded each other for the pleasure of their sweaty packed in audience of sadists in a veritable masculine orgy all over a moist leathery wrinkled testicle. It was sponsored by America's second favorite boner-pill, Cialis
TM
.