* Daniel *
I hustled into the karaoke bar twenty minutes late. Kelly's boyfriend, Josh, gave me a shout from behind the bar, where he was serving drinks at top speed to thirsty sorority girls in skimpy Halloween costumes. "Lewis, she's been waiting for you, like, half an hour! Be a pal, get your ass over there and calm her down, or I'm not gettin' any tonight!"
"Ugh. TMI, dude!" I called back. But Josh was actually a pretty decent guy. He was really good to Kelly, and way more cool with me being their third wheel than I had any right to expect.
He'd been exaggerating, I found out when I reached Kelly. She muttered something about "operating on gay time," but she seemed too self-satisfied to be really upset. She'd taken advantage of my tardiness to assign us both songs for the first round of the evening.
It's kind of a guilty secret of mine how much I enjoy singing, even though my voice is nothing special. Kelly, on the other hand, has a great smoky lounge singer alto, and knows how to use it.
"So whaddya think of these songs?" she asked.
I looked at what she had picked out for us. "I think you got our selections mixed up, Kel. 'Fever' is your song. It's way too low for me. Besides, it's a chick song."
"'Chick song?' Excuse me? What kind of sexist are you?"
"It's right there in the lyrics, Kel. 'Chicks were born to give you fever.' You're asking me to sing a straight chick song that's out of my range."
"So change the lyrics, then. Come on, I always do the torch songs. Let's mix things up for once."
I groaned again when saw that she'd picked out the Michael Bublé cover. I hated that version, it was so overdone. "Sorry, sweetie, it's Peggy or nothing," I told her. My voice is tenor, to my eternal dismay. I'd always wanted to have a rich, authoritative baritone instead. Adapting to Peggy Lee's sultry alto was going to be tricky for me, but at least it was going to be listenable. I glared at Kelly and stomped up for my turn at the microphone.
The first verse was low, all right, but I could just handle it, and at least the roughness at the bottom of my voice suited the lyric. The song modulates up from there, so I knew I could handle the rest of it, and started to relax. That was my mistake. Before I knew it I was imagining Jeff Williams, and singing it for his ears only. When I got to the "chicks" line, I switched it to "you were born to give me fever," and had a mortifying moment when I realized I'd mentally changed that word to "Jeff."
When I sat back down, Kelly had a smug look on her face, as if she'd caught me out in the middle of doing something mildly naughty.
"You sang that song like you meant it, Daniel."
"You know sincerity's the secret to a singer's success. Wow. Try saying that five times fast."
She didn't fall for any of it—the explanation or the lame attempt at distraction.
"I've seen your sincere, Daniel. This went way beyond that, right into heartfelt. I just couldn't help wondering if you were singing that song to any guy in particular." She sipped her drink, but her eyes were still fixed on my face, which I hoped and prayed wasn't beet-red at this point. "Maybe a certain handsome leading man?"
I choked on my own drink. "Who, Williams? Are you kidding? Don't you think he's a little bit out of my league?"
Shitshitshitshitshit, why'd that last bit slip out?
Kelly's face went from amused to serious. She slid over and pounded on my back to help clear my windpipe, but she took advantage of our proximity to speak softly into my ear. "It's been written all over your face since he first walked into the theater, Daniel. It's okay, you know. Not only is he fucking gorgeous, he's a genuinely nice guy, and he's definitely showing an interest in you. After the losers you've been with, Jeff's the first guy I've seen come along who might actually be worth taking a risk for."
"What on earth makes you think Jeff Williams has any interest in me? You said it yourself, he's a leading man. I'm just the kid handling the props."
"And I'm the Good Witch of the North. Why do you keep selling yourself short?"
"I'm not selling myself short, I'm being realistic. And, oh, did I mention, we're co-workers?"
"Daniel, realistic is recognizing that at the end of the day you're just two guys who might have something good together if you took a chance. The rest is just scenery. And speaking of scenery, for what it's worth, I think you two would be super hot together."
"Speaking as a straight woman?"
"Oh, yeah," she responded, giving it just the right amount of lasciviousness. I laughed, and we were once again at ease. But as we were saying good night, she hugged me and whispered in my ear, "Happy Halloween, Daniel. Just think about what I said, okay?"
I had a feeling it was all I would be able to think about for the foreseeable future.
—————
* Jeff *
Early in the third week of rehearsals, production hit a snag. When we arrived at the theater, Joseph was nowhere to be seen, and Scott, Mark and Daniel were looking very serious. As had become my habit, I threw a smile Daniel's way. Daniel wouldn't meet my eyes. He looked unusually tense, even for someone as tightly wound as he was. Scott waited until he had everyone's attention, then explained the situation:
"Last night, Joseph's mother passed away unexpectedly from a sudden heart attack. They were a close-knit family, so he's pretty broken up. He's promised us he's not backing out of the part, but he is going to be taking a few days' leave to help his father and sister with the funeral arrangements. He left on the first plane this morning. He asked you all to keep him and his family in your prayers, if you happen to be the praying type.
"In the meanwhile, we still have a lot of rehearsal ahead of us before this show's ready to be seen, and we can't afford to waste any time waiting for him to get back. Fortunately our ASM, Daniel, has agreed to step in as Joseph's understudy in the interim, and to work one-on-one with Joseph getting him up to speed once he gets back. I have to say, I put Daniel through a pretty grueling audition before you all arrived here and he knows the play backward and forward, so we shouldn't lose too much momentum.
"We'll be circulating a card later today that you can all sign for Joseph and his family, and taking a collection to send some flowers to the funeral. For now, Christina and Heather, I'd like you to work on scene six on your own this morning while I go through scene seven with Jeff, Angela and Daniel. In the afternoon, I'll come and see where you are on that, and Jeff can take charge of rehearsing his team."
So that was why Daniel was looking tense. Being an understudy was often part of the drill for ASMs, but not all of them were necessarily cut out for the role. For a guy as shy as Daniel was, this must be nerve-wracking.
Shows how little I really knew about the guy I was now dreaming about every night.
By the end of the morning, I had seen a side of Daniel I never imagined existed. The scene we were rehearsing was primarily a confrontation between Angela and me, with lots of juicy emoting for both of us. The character Daniel was playing was caught in the middle, and pretty much spent the whole time trying to find a way out of his awkward situation. At least, that was the way Joseph had been playing it. Daniel, on the other hand, had realized something I should have long ago. All that complicated stage movement that Scott had us practicing non-stop was a metaphor for the relationships between the characters. We were all taking part in some elaborate dance, and Daniel's character was a full participant, not an observer. He made me realize the guy had an agenda and a point of view of his own. Angela and I, or at least our characters, were so intent on our own little drama, we didn't even realize the way he was contributing to the dynamics of the scene.
It made me wonder if that was a metaphor for Daniel behind the scenes as well. I mean, we all relied on him just like we relied on our stagehands, techs and dressers, and he was damn good at what he did. He obviously paid extremely close attention to everything happening on stage as well as off, because he stepped into that ridiculous blocking as if he'd been practicing it with us all along.
He was also, not coincidentally, becoming more and more fascinating to me by the hour, as he revealed depths of talent and insight I had never imagined. I went home that night and the next feeling light-headed. All my blood seemed to have pooled permanently in my groin. Dream-Daniel was developing an improbably large sexual repertoire during my nightly jerk sessions.
By Saturday, I couldn't hold back any longer. The scene was going beautifully, and when we ran it for Scott at the end of the day, he was, characteristically, bouncing off the walls.
"This is gonna be great! Daniel, you sure you're okay reviewing everything with Joseph and getting him up to speed when he gets back?"
"No problem."
"Well, let me know if you need anything. Good job, all of you. Let's call it a night!"
I strolled over to Daniel, trying to act casual, and not at all as though I were stalking him. He seemed much more confident now, after working alongside us so closely for three days, but I still remembered how skittish he'd been before. He was hunched over his script, making a few notes.
"Hey, buy you a drink?" I asked.
He started, and looked up at me, going right back to that defensive posture. Shit.
Come on, Jeff, you can do this.
"Daniel, you've been amazing through this. I had no idea you were so talented. I have to admit, I thought you were just going to be a placeholder till Joseph got back, but you even put me and Angela through our paces. A drink's the least I can do to say thank you, and to apologize for underestimating you."
He gave me one of his long inscrutable sideways looks before finding his voice. "Okay, thanks, I think I'd like a drink. But nothing alcoholic, if that's okay. I'm a major lightweight."
The cafe down the street where I had chatted with Scott before rehearsals began had become a favorite hangout for the cast. I looked around nervously when we entered in case anyone we knew was there. I wanted this guy to myself tonight. Fortunately, the coast was clear, and I took us to a table in the back where there was at least a little privacy. My heart was hammering like a lovestruck teenager as I slid into my seat next to Daniel, and I had to fight the impulse to take his hand in mine.
I was dying to learn everything about him—his family, his favorite color, the names of his childhood pets, his taste in movies, and most importantly, whether he was gay, what drove him crazy in bed, and whether I stood any chance at trying out the entire list with him—but I figured I'd better at least start this on a professional basis. Easier, safer. Damn frustrating.
"So, Daniel, where did you learn to act like that? I've been blown away these three days of rehearsals. You picked up on Scott's blocking like it was nothing, and you've given me insights into your character Joseph never touched on—but please, don't ever tell him I said so! Did you study acting in school?"
He squirmed a bit, uncomfortable with praise, I guessed. "Yeah, I went through the whole theater major at the university here. Acting, directing, production, design... you probably know the drill."
"You studied here? I graduated in '93. You?"
"2001."
The barista called out our drink orders just then—a peppermint mocha for Daniel, a hazelnut latte for me. While I went to fetch them, I did some quick mental arithmetic. Assuming he'd graduated in the standard four years, that was only eight years' difference between us. Eight years wasn't that much. Christ, he had looked so much younger! Maybe I did stand a chance. And we were fellow alumni! I could definitely work with that. I returned to our table and slid his mocha across to him.
"Did you study with Professor Ryan? He was my advisor when I was in school."
