Artie
Serene. Tranquil. That was how I felt waking up those first few days with Miles next to me. That was not how I woke up Monday. I was ripped out of sleep by that horrible fricking panic alarm sound that comes with the iPhone. That ringtone should be outlawed. I threw my only good pillow at the bottom bunk, hopefully onto Miles' face. My back ached from the piece of crap dorm mattress and I felt like I had only been sleeping for an hour. The disquietude of that morning was an omen for how the rest of my week would go. In the moments when I would usually give myself a break to recharge Miles would tow me with him to x and y thing. The whole time I felt like I was being dragged along by my pigtails, and I don't even have pigtails.
First, it was the Club Fair on Monday. I had just finished my third class of the day and my brain was fried from paying close attention as my professors droned on and on for fifty minutes a piece about their syllabi. I needed to lie down in silence. Instead, as soon as Miles got home from class he grabbed my feet and yanked my legs off of his bed.
"C'mon, Club Fair." He stated simply, as if that was a valid reason to disturb my catnap.
"Please, God. Anything but the Club Fair." I pleaded to the bottom of my bunk.
"Stop being so dramatic. You don't do shit around campus, let's get involved." He started pulling on my legs again trying to get me off the bed, and I held on to the frame for dear life.
"First of all, rude. Second of all, 'Let's get involved!'. Okay, Rosie the Riveter." Miles had been pulling my legs intermittently, so hard my body was lifting off of the bed.
"First of all, shut the hell up, smartass. Second of all, I'm trying to do what's best for you. I'm sure they have a D&D club or whatever it is you nerds do these days."
This time when he pulled I let go of the frame and Miles slipped backward. He didn't release my legs and we crashed to the ground. Miles was on his back, disoriented, and I seized my chance. I crawled towards Miles' head so that it was eye level with my chest and pulled him into a headlock.
"One thing you should know about nerds: a lot of us use to watch WWE." I said as I constricted my arm around his neck tighter.
Miles was making pretend asphyxiation noises and banging on the floor as if I was actually choking him out. His theatrical response was making me huff and I lost my grip on him. He immediately flipped over and grabbed me up.
"Didn't anyone ever tell you that shit is fake?" He mumbled into my ear as he hefted me into the air. He threw me sideways onto the bed and then stuck his elbow into the air. He looked at it, tapped it twice, then launched into the air following my trajectory. I curled into a ball and covered my head as best as possible.
The impact never came.
I opened my eyes the tiniest bit, still cowering. Miles was just standing there with a smirk on his smug little face. I punched toward his groin and pulled it at the last second. He flinched hard.
"Not cool, dude. Not cool." Miles shook his head disapprovingly, but I could tell he was holding in a smile.
"You started it!" It's true, he did.
"Club Fair then hit the dining hall. C'mon. Let's go." I exhaled and slid on some shoes.
The club fair was at the center of campus only a minute or two from our dorm, which was reassuring. If I got overwhelmed I could just go back to the dorm and decompress. The Club Fair was always a madhouse full of sweaty students and overzealous desk attendants that tried to recruit you as if they made a commission. I don't like being talked at, especially in a cramped hot space, so the club fair wasn't usually a pleasant experience for me. But, Miles was right. I didn't do much around campus last year, and my lack of a social circle proved it. I had about one friend on campus and it was my current roommate. I silently made a pact with myself to find at least one club I had a genuine interest in before I left.
Walking up to the fair I could feel claustrophobic feelings rise as I took in the long, thick stream of students densely packing the sidewalks around the main green. I usually didn't really care about my smaller stature, it came in handy a lot of times. Times like this though I wished I was more like Miles. People would just part for him as he lumbered along, towering over almost everyone. I kept close to his back and we made our way through the maze of desks and booths.
We passed the section of clubs focused on religion and culture/ethnicity. Then a bunch of dance/indoor exercise clubs. The food clubs, the art clubs, and literature/film clubs. They blurred together like they usually do when I come to the fair and it's this hot and crowded. There was a club for everything. My brain always just shuts off and focuses solely on removing myself from the environment. I remembered the pact I made with myself as we passed the social activism section. A few of them stuck out to me so I took a flyer for the environmentalism club, a volunteering club, and a business activism club. Miles pretty much made a beeline for the sports clubs and he dragged me along with him as he conversed with a bunch of different club leaders. Lifting club, Frisbee, Rugby, Lacrosse, Track and Field, Quidditch? And he calls me the nerd?
He just kept going. My eyes landed on the swimming booth. I quit competitively swimming years ago, it got too serious for me and I really just liked being in the water and getting a decent workout. The competition turned me off. Both the attendants were busy talking to other people so I took my opportunity and walked over, checking out the pamphlets they had. No swim meets, perfect. The attendant closest to me finished his conversation with the girl he had been talking to and turned to me.
"Hi! My name I-" I grabbed an extra pamphlet off the stand they were on and sped away. No thanks, too hot outside.
Miles seemed like he was done talking to the guy with bodybuilding club. Well, done enough. I latched onto his arm and pulled him along with me.
"Bro! I was talking!" Oops.
Once we made even just ten feet out of the horde of students I felt like my chest could expand fully again. I took deep inhales and fanned myself with the handful of flyers I had.
"Feel better?" Miles asked with genuine concern in his voice. I nodded my head.
"Time for dinner," I concluded. I stood up straight and looked Miles in the eye. He just ruffled my hair and smiled.
********
Tuesday was no better. Miles and I had an evening class together and while that was nice, by the time it was over I was almost too tired to stop at the dining hall for dinner. Instead of dinner, Miles forced me to go to Rush Week. Me. At Rush Week. I don't know who the heck he thought I was. I was honestly slightly offended he thought I'd have even the slightest desire to participate in Greek life. I was practically dead on my feet as Miles dragged me from frat house to frat house. Every single one of them was full of guys that looked like they spent too much time in both the gym and Banana Republic. Miles would chit-chat with them about sports or whatever and I'd just tune out, anxiously awaiting our departure. Eventually, though, we got to the business frat. I already knew a few people in it from some of my intro classes last year, so I finally had something to talk about and people to talk to. Miles let me take the lead and introduce him around.
"Arthur!" I felt a tap on my shoulder and I spun around.
Conner was standing there, a half-smile on his face.
"Hey, I didn't know you were in this."
"I rushed the semester after we had intro to business. You thinking about pledging?" I was going to make a joke about Miles dragging me here against my will, but when I looked around he was nowhere to be found. You know what, why not?
"Um, yeah I guess I am. I don't really know how it works though."
"If I'm being totally honest, rushing is the only thing that's really different compared to other frats. No hazing, less unnecessary obligations. The pledging process for us is focused more on the pledge rather than what they do for the fraternity. Basically, you just attend a bunch of events and we help you build your resume and make connections around campus." That was not at all what I was expecting. Besides the events, which sounded like a nightmare, it seemed like a good opportunity.
"You'll need to have a good amount of business casual clothing, though." Conner punched my shoulder lightly and for a second I was reminded of when a girl touches your arm when she's interested. What Miles said in the school bookstore played in my head. Conner's always been like that to me but now that I think about it, I can't remember him being so handsy with the other people in our group for our project.
We kept talking about the rushing process and Conner explained to me what they're looking for in pledges. Now that I saw it I couldn't unsee it. Periodically, Conner would look deeply into my eyes and put his hands somewhere on my arms or shoulders. Several potential pledges walked past us, clearly waiting to be approached by a brother, and Conner just continued to make animated conversation with me. Conner was a decent-looking guy, friendly, polite. While he was talking I tried to look like I was paying attention, but in my head I was pondering how I've been feeling around Miles lately. Was I attracted to guys? I'd say Conner is attractive, I guess. Right then, I definitely didn't feel the way I did with Miles those few times. But then again, I was half-naked and/or being touched intimately. Is that was it was going to take for me to figure this out? Did I want to do any of that stuff with a guy? There's one who's interested right in front of me, should I try something?
"-your schedule?" Conner finished what he was saying and I was brought back to the present. I realized I hadn't heard a single thing he said for probably a minute or two.
"Um, I'm not sure of what my schedule is going to look like. I'm still figuring out if I want to join any clubs or look for jobs around campus."
"Yeah, that's cool! We have rush events going on for the next couple weeks. If you show up to those eventually we schedule you for an interview. If that goes well we put in a bid for you, and if you accept you start pledging."
He started explaining to me about the rush events and the protocol but he was stopped short. Miles sidled up to us, and to me, he looked like he was puffing out his chest.
"Ready to go?" Miles said while looking at me, not even acknowledging Conner.
"Yeah, I guess. I'll see you, Conner."
"Definitely! I'll see you around. Text me if you have any questions."
