"So, tell me about you and Marcus," my dad said after he'd sat himself down opposite me with his glass of white wine.
"What's there to tell?" I asked with a shrug after taking a deep gulp from the beer he'd handed me. I was more used to being passed a glass of coke or Sprite but now that I'd spent my first term at university and was seen as 'all growed up', he was finally letting me join him for a proper father and son drink.
"How did the two of you... well... 'get together' I suppose you'd call it?"
I smiled. He could be such a gumby sometimes.
"I told you," I said. "We were playing Jenga - a whole group of us lads, pissed - and I chose the block that said I had to lick the butt of the guy sitting next to me. Which happened to be Marcus."
"I suppose it's your classic boy-meets-boy story," my dad observed dryly. He thought he was so funny.
"There's not much more to tell," I said, putting the glass down on the table. "I licked his bum with them filming me on their phones, and I found I actually liked it. I didn't show how I felt to the others, though. I made out like I was about to ralph. After that, though -"
"About to 'ralph'?" my dad cut in.
"Yeah, you know... vomit. I was retching like it was the most manky thing in the world, but all the time I was really enjoying it."
"You got aroused?"
I laughed. "Of course I did!"
My dad smiled back. "Didn't you find, though, like I often do, that your excitement was difficult to conceal? I know that we're... er... similarly built out front, you and I."
I chuckled at his fuckward way of saying things. If he felt the need to point out that we both have big dicks, why didn't he just say it?
"I was crouching behind him," I explained. "And in any case, the other lads' eyes were on how far I was pushing my tongue between Marcus's butt-cheeks. I could have had my knob out and been stroking it and they probably wouldn't have figured."
My dad smiled but I could see he was embarrassed that I'd referred to masturbation. I couldn't understand why as we both knew how often we both did it - Jeez, it was just something that was going to happen when you have two over-sexed males living together.
Just that morning, when he'd sleepily shuffled towards the bathroom, a quick glance through the half-open door of my bedroom had told him how his son's day was starting. And ten minutes later, when I was clumping downstairs for a coffee, the rapid thumping of his duvet from his bedroom door had confirmed that he too had woke up horny.
Guys wank. Get over it.
"So what happened after that?" dad asked. "You said that Marcus had stayed over with you and that the two of you had... well... experimented together."
"I dunno if you wanna hear it, dad!" I laughed, reaching over to pick up my beer again. "I mean if you're gonna blush at the mere mention of me rubbing my dick, you'll have a heart attack at the sort of stuff we got up to!"
"I'm sorry," my dad said. "You know what I'm like about masturbation... I'm just a bit old fashioned, I guess. Blame your grandma."
"It's okay," I grinned, and then took another long swig from my glass.
"I'm actually not so hung up about sexual stuff as I once was," he went on. "A year ago I'd have curled up and died with embarrassment at the thought of having a conversation like this with you, but... you know... things have moved on a lot for me since then."
"Are you sure you wanna hear about the two of us guys though?"
He smiled. "You know what happened during my first time with a member of my own gender. I'd very much appreciate hearing about yours; for comparison purposes only, of course."
'For comparison purposes only'? Who was he trying to kid?! We both knew why he wanted to hear this and how much his dick would be growing in his trousers as I told him. Why does he always try to dress things up?
I glanced over at the TV which was still on, though the sound was on mute. It looked like some American show was on but it wasn't one I knew.
I decided to exploit my dad's interest for my own gain.
"You know, I actually don't know much about what went on in that hotel," I pointed out with a smirk. I knew vaguely what had happened between him and Guy Leeson - that it had involved a lot of whiskey and a certain amount of uncharacteristic spontaneity on the part of my dad - but not the details. Now was the perfect opportunity to find out.
"Well, to cut a long story short," my dad began, "Guy hadn't had a woman in a while. He was quite flagrantly aroused and asked me to... you know... help him out. Eventually I agreed that he could... er... make use of my mouth."
"You gave him a blowjob," I said, cutting to the chase.
Dad smiled over at me, his cheeks flushing pink. "That's a less elegant way of putting it, yes."
My dad, with all his prim and proper ways, had ended up going down on my friend's dad's cock! Him on his knees sucking off a horny plumber!
I suppressed a smile and asked, "And then what?"
He took a drink from his wine. I could see this was difficult for him but as he clearly wanted to know about my own first time (for comparison purposes only, of course), it was only fair that he dished the dirt on his own.
"Well, in spite of the fact that my only sexual experiences up until that point had been with women - your mother, mainly - I found that I really liked the smell and taste of Guys' testicles."
He blushed a little redder at how personal that revelation was and I smiled with as much encouragement as I could to compel him to continue.
"I kept sniffing them and licking them, and I found my face moving lower between his legs, working my way behind his balls into the rather wonderfully odorous crevice right behind them."
I chuckled at his language: I too loved licking other guys down there but I would never have thought of saying that any of them had a 'wonderfully odorous crevice' lurking just behind their nads.
"I kept pushing deeper between his legs," my dad went on, "until I had my nose and mouth level with his... well..."
"Arsehole?" I suggested.
"Yes, that's the one," he agreed with a slight look of disapproval. "And to my amazement, I was fascinated by it - the smell, the taste, the whole sensation of having my face back there on another man's most private, and alluringly hairy, place."
"So you enjoyed it?" I asked.
"Let's just say that within a very short space of time, Guy had an arc of stickiness reaching from the back of his head all the way down to his bum."
"And I'm guessing the headboard of the bed ended up similarly covered by him?"
He chuckled. "No, not really. To be brutally honest, most of his ended up down my throat."
"Oh, nice one!" I laughed. "Waste not, want not, eh?"
He smiled back at me. "I've taught you well."
"You have indeed!"
My old man gulping down my mate's dad's jizm! Now that was something you didn't hear about every day.
He took another sip of his wine, now more amused than embarrassed, before going on, "Come on, then, Jake. Let's hear about your first time. I've told you mine so it's only fair..."
I nodded. "Okay." And I thought back to what had happened that night.
Except that wasn't my first time: well, not really.
It was my first time at going the whole way with another lad, granted, but it wasn't my first gay experience: that had happened a year or so earlier.
My very first gay experience - proper gay experience - was when I'd wanked off with a mate of mine called Craig in his bedroom on the way home from college and things had gone a bit further than I'd expected. To be totally honest, I'd wanked off with a few other lads before then but it had never been anything serious and most of the time we hadn't even touched each other. It was pretty much like taking a piss at the urinals standing next to a mate - we were both just relieving ourselves and happened to be doing it at the same time.
With Craig it had been different: I'd known that it would be when he'd invited me to his house when we'd been walking home that afternoon. He was as camp as fuck - I mean, everyone called him 'Queer Craig' - and I'd pretty much figured out what the score was when he'd suggested we could "listen to some music" and had added, with a funny sort of smile that I'd figured must be a gay thing, that his mum was having to work late.
He was out to get up to some crump with me - that much seemed smack-in-the-face obvious - but I went along with him, partly because he'd been a friend since primary school but mainly because, well, I was a bit curious, I suppose.