When River was with Emmanuel, he could put these intrusive thoughts to the side, but alone at home or in the morgue, he couldn't. The new month began and it was unusually quiet for Detroit. Somewhere in River's mind, he worried that it was some sort of omen of bad things. Detroit was usually full of bodies that needed to be looked at, evidence collected, and causes of death discovered, but they were having a lull in work right then. It gave River a lot of downtime that he used to perfect his dissertation, which was all about advancing technology and what those advances meant for forensic science and cold cases.
Still, he could only work on his dissertation so much without feeling like he would break whatever perfection he had come to with it. And thus, he eventually settled on researching grooming and what behaviors to look out for. Reading through that seemed to knock the breath right out of River. He was having a hard time reconciling the man he knew with the man that these articles said Vinny was. He could see how the behaviors fit into grooming based on the articles, but his heart was having a hard time admitting this was reality.
Vinny had always taken an interest in River, spending time with him alone even before Cassia disappeared. He would play games with River, give him little gifts that he wouldn't get the other kids, take him out for days alone. After Cassia died, he spent time with River at his house, bringing him toys and snacks, learning all of his favorite games and interests, and talking to him about life.
When River was a teenager, a little after he had been given the sex talk by his parents, Vinny would let River talk about the boys he was into and get out his frustration at being confused about his sexuality in the beginning. Vinny had walked him through a few scenarios about his crushes that helped him solidify the fact that River was gay, but it had never occurred to him that it might have been odd that Vinny had talked about the sex aspect of his desires towards his crushes.
Was it odd? River had to sit on that one for a while. It had helped River see that it was more than just admiration he had for the boys at his school. He didn't look up to them, he was attracted to them, and sex did play a part in that. River would have had to consider whether he wanted to do more than just hang out with those boys, like kissing, making out, touching each other. He would have had to consider his own thoughts during masturbation eventually as well, but should Vinny have been a part of that?
He eventually asked Jae the question that had been rattling around his brain the most lately. "Do you think if someone groomed one child from a young age, he might also have killed another?"
"Depends on what he wanted out of it," Jae replied thoughtfully. "Normally, though, the child being groomed is the one most at risk. It's out of character for a groomer to harm a child they aren't grooming. If he was grooming both, though, absolutely. It is very rare for a killer to change genders of who he goes after though. It's not common, and so if someone was grooming you then it isn't incredibly likely he also killed Cassia."
River had to stop and consider that for a while, but he couldn't remember Vinny acting that way toward Cassia. "How likely is it that two dangerous people could be around one family?" he asked more to himself than to Jae.
Jae answered it all the same. "Depends on the family. When a family is involved in criminal activity, it's very likely. But also, when a family is very welcoming and warm to everyone, sometimes they can attract bad people who might want to take advantage of them. Especially when that family likes to see the good in people. There are also groups who have trauma and attract both good and bad people; the good because they understand and the bad because they can weasel in and do what they want."
River sighed, feeling sick to his stomach at the thought. He let out a quiet exclamation of, "Fuck" while he rubbed at his eyes.
"Are you okay?" Jae asked him.
"Should I be?" River asked, letting his hands fall back to his side. "My family are some of the kindest people I know, always wanting to help others, always inviting others to eat at our table, especially when those people have less than us. And now I know for sure there is one, but probably two, people taking advantage of my family and hurting us. I want to scream, I want to throw up, and I don't know what to do with any of it."
Jae looked sympathetic, giving River a kind but sad smile. "I did warn you that walking down this road of secrets might hurt."
River let out a sigh again as the buzzer sounded. He went over to the cameras, almost ridiculously glad to see Rufus and Emmanuel with a body for them to take his mind off of this. He hit the buzzer, waiting until they had opened the door before he turned back to Jae and said, "I know. I really only have myself to blame for my pain right now, but boy does it hurt."
When Rufus and Emmanuel came into the room, they could both tell that something was going on. Jae was leaning against one of the exam tables with his hands next to him, looking at River with sympathy while River's eyes were red and irritated. It was then that Emmanuel felt something constricting in his chest. A feeling he was unfamiliar with. It took him a moment to recognize it for what it was - jealousy.
He looked between River and the man he called Jae, noting the careful distance between them and reading far too much into it. He schooled his features to stillness, but River knew him well enough by now to understand that something was bothering Emmanuel. Unfortunately, there was no real way to address it in mixed company and Rufus wasn't likely to use his "bathroom break" trick with someone else in the lab. The two transporters went about their duties silently, offloading the body they wheeled in. Rufus wordlessly handed the sealed file to River as Emmanuel lined the gurney up with the cooler door that housed the body they were taking away.
It was a tense twenty minutes between when Emmanuel and Rufus entered the morgue and when the door closed behind them. As soon as the door clicked closed, Jae raised an eyebrow at River. "Is that always this tense?"
River shook his head. "No, not usually. I'll have to ask later what was going on."
That made Jae raise the other eyebrow. "Well surely you're not dallying with Rufus, so are you and the young one a thing?"
River chuckled at that mental image and then gave a small shrug. "We have similar tastes, and just recently made things official."
Jae looked impressed, giving a nod that seemed to say that he didn't blame River for going down that path. As they were talking though, River's brows furrowed in thought as he considered everything that had happened in the last five months. Jae seemed to notice the shift in mood, because he asked, "What's up?"
River shook his head. "I think I'm starting to get paranoid. Seeing shadows in every corner. You don't think...Surely the timing of Emmanuel and I getting close and starting the case is just coincidence, right?"
Jae brought his head back a little to show that he caught what River meant. "He's young, probably too young to have been involved in any way. On top of that, did you two just recently meet for the first time?" When River nodded, Jae continued, "Then don't go down that rabbit hole. The person who did this crime has likely known you for a long time, and has been around the family for a long time. Even if someone came in trying to cover things up for the person who killed Cassia, it would be someone you know, not someone new."
River let out a shaky laugh. "I'm starting to feel crazy."
"You aren't," Jae told him, stepping forward to put his hands on River's shoulders so he couldn't just shrug off his words. "Going down paths like this make things feel unsteady. That's normal, and you aren't losing your grip on reality or sanity. You're rightly questioning everything around you, and you are more than capable of seeing what is a brief worry and can be discarded, and what might need to be looked into. And if you need to bounce those ideas off someone who won't judge, you have me."
River gave another nod and Jae let go of his shoulders. They had a small list of suspects that Jae went over with River so he would know who to watch. Jae was going to go to their homes to ask them questions and get back to River, but for now, it gave River a chance to watch the people at family parties. Jae wrote down Vinny's name on his sheet of paper, but due to their talk they were already dismissing him as a possibility, though Jae knew never to leave a stone unturned.
Once Jae left, River sent off a message to Emmanuel asking if he was okay before he put his headphones on to get to work looking through everything for the new body. Emmanuel, however, had turned his phone off once they loaded the body into the van. He was concerned that he would lash out while feeling this way and respected River too much to act that way. It did occur to him that turning his phone off was a different sort of passive aggressive behavior, but he felt it to be the lesser of the two evils just then.
River checked his phone every now and then as he worked, and just hoped that whatever was wrong wasn't by him doing something to upset Emmanuel. By the time he had put the body into the fridge and sat down at his desk, he felt exhausted emotionally. He wanted to sleep for a solid month just to recover his energy.
When his shift came to an end, he put his coat on the hook in his office and grabbed his stuff before heading home. He stopped at the gas station first, filling up his car and picking up something to eat, before he went home to eat and shower. He found it more than a little concerning that Emmanuel hadn't even acknowledged his message by then, but knew that there was nothing he could do tonight.
"I miss you and I hope we can talk soon," he sent before he went to bed. It took a little bit for him to get to sleep that early morning. Something felt off, and it wasn't just about Emmanuel. He had that prickling feeling like he was being watched, but couldn't figure out why. Eventually he took a sleeping pill and was out within fifteen minutes.
