Alex and I

The next morning I woke, feeling like I had a bowling ball in my stomach but I climbed out of bed, washed, dressed and checked myself in the mirror. The bruises I had were going down and hopefully by Monday when I started my new job they would be all healed. But today the house repairs needed to be seen to.

Maryellen and Mondo stopped over at lunch time while the guys were filling the pool with water. I set out some lunch stuff and some iced coffee and we sat down to eat and bullshit. Mondo finally broached the subject by asking me how I was doing.

"I feel horrible but what can you do? I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough and I've got a lot of stuff to keep me going. By the way, if you want when you decide to move down you can move in here with me. We'll set up the spare bedroom for you that way you won't have to endure the craziness over at Maryellen's either."

"Fuck you." Maryellen said without any real heat. "My place isn't crazy."

"You're place is a zoo." I answered.

"Oh hell yeah it is." Mondo agreed.

"That's nice we come over here to see if Josh is ok and you both start ragging on me."

"I'm fine, guys. I mean, I'm not but I will be. Eventually. I just got dealt a shitty hand. Again. I'll bounce back."

"You don't sound too sure." Mondo said.

"Well, I guess when you get older you lose your spring and it takes longer to bounce back." I laughed but didn't feel like laughing.

We had a nice meal, watched the guys finish filling the pool and didn't talk about my heartache and loss again. When they left I told them that I would prep the pool for swimming and let them know when they could come over for a swim.

The weekend went quickly with me spending all of my time getting the house ready. It was coming along and would be in good shape by next weekend when I planned to throw a house warming party. I didn't feel much like partying but in Florida that's what one does and I figured going through the motions would at least help me feel a little more normal.

Monday came and I started to work at the ambulance squad. It was great. The area we were in had a high call volume and we were constantly heading out into the thick of it. There was also a great deal of overtime available so I took some time off from home repairs to rack up more hours at work. By the middle of the week I felt like one of the gang. We were out on Wednesday, stopping for a bite to eat when we got a call. It was to my old job site and my unit had been specifically requested. My partner, a really cool girl who had just finished her paramedic, and I jumped up from the table and ran to the rig.

"Do you know why the requested us?" Nicky asked.

"I used to work there. What's the call for?"

"A 71 year old male with chest pain." She answered and I gunned it as I flipped on the lights and siren. I wondered if it were Pete or Tiny. When we got there we saw a group of men standing around someone who had been placed in the shade. I ran with Nicky up to them and pushed them aside, only barely registering that Alex was there.

It was Tiny. He looked a little flushed and was holding his chest but at least he was still breathing. I grabbed a wrist and found his pulse to be a little fast but strong.

"How you doing Tiny?" I asked.

"Ok, now. I took my medicine and the pain went away. It feels fine now."

"What did you take?"

"My nitro."

"How many doses?"

"Just one."

"And it help that quick?" I asked.

"Yeah. It was just my goddamn angina. Kicks up every once in a while."

I kept asking him questions, and helping Nicky put him on the monitor. When he was all hooked up we watched the flashing blip of light dance across the screen. Nicky looked up at me as if to say 'he's ok'.

"All right, Tiny. You're ok for now. But we're going to bring you to the hospital and get you checked out." I stood up and headed back to the rig to get the stretcher. As soon as I stood, Tiny stopped me.

"I'm ok."

"I know you are, Tiny. But you have to be seen by a doctor. He's got to make sure you're all right."

"No, really. I'm fine." He said and started taking the monitor off his chest.

"Tiny!" I said trying to get his attention. "You had chest pain and you have a heart condition. This could be nothing but it could also be the beginning of a heart attack. You need to go to the hospital."

"All right, I will."

"Good." I said and tried to go get the stretcher again.

"After work."

We tried for a half an hour to convince him that he needed to go to the hospital but he kept refusing. I tried to get Pete to force him to go, but even he was being stubborn today.

"He's 71 years old, kid. He was old when I started working here and now we're both old. He knows what he wants."

"Are you fucking serious?"

I asked him but got no answer. Nicky and I had Tiny sign a refusal to be treated form and packed our stuff back into the rig as Nicky called back in service on the radio. Tiny and the other guys had gotten back to work, and Pete was sitting on the steps to the trailer as if watching some big show. I was just about to get back into the rig when I saw Alex just standing where Tiny had been laying. He was staring at me. I nodded at him and looked away. I was just about to get back into the ambulance when Nicky asked.

"Who is that guy? He's gorgeous!" I closed my eyes cause I knew who she was talking about.

"His name is Alex."

"Well, he's coming over here." I turned around and saw that Alex was only a few feet away from me.

"Don't do this." I pleaded with him. "I can't take this." I whispered. Alex didn't stop until he was standing right in front of me. His mouth moved as if he was trying to say something but nothing came out. "What?"

"I miss you." He said, at last.

"I can't do this, Alex. I have to get over this."

"I don't want you to get over this. Getting over this means getting over me." He said.

"Yeah, that's what it means."

"I can't allow that."

"You can't allow that?!" I said, suddenly angry. "I don't give a fuck what you think you can allow or not! Who the fuck-."

My lips were silenced by his and my tongue was distracted by his and my entire body was caught up in his. His hands were on my face holding me to him. When he finally released me he let his forehead rest on mine.

"I love you, Josh."

"Alex-"

"I love you the way a man loves a man. I want to be with you. I want to sleep with you and I want to sleep beside you. I want you in my life and I'll make up for all the stupid shit I pulled when I was figuring that out and if you don't want to say yes right now then don't, just give me a chance to show you how much I want and need you."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. My heart melted and I was lost again. I was pretty sure that from this one there was going to be no recovery.

"Say something, baby." He said still holding me.

"Um..." I didn't have a chance, our unit was called out to another emergency. I looked at him helplessly. "I have to go."

"I know." He said, releasing me. "You go, baby. Save some lives." He backed up a few feet from me and waited while I started getting in the rig.

"7392 Ocean Boulevard." I called to him. "I get off at seven." He smiled and it filled my heart.

I was in a daze for the rest of the day. Not a dangerous one, I did what I had to do when Nicky and I were on a case but every free second my thoughts were of him. Nicky was downright jealous and hounded me for details of how we met and how we got together. I told her our long story and she was giddy by the time it ended.

"That's so fucking romantic!" She sighed. "And now you're together again."

"Is that what happened?" I asked, again I was dazed and not ready to accept what I thought happened.

"That's what happened." She said. She let me go as soon as we got back to the squad house telling me she would see to the rig and the gear. I clocked out, didn't even change and sped all the way home.

Alex was there waiting for me. He was sitting on my front step, washed, dressed and polished waiting for me with a small bouquet of flowers and a small smile. I got out of my car and walked to him.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." I said.

"I've been waiting for you."

"I told you I had to work till seven."

"No. I mean I've been waiting for you. I've been waiting for you for a long time." He said and lowered his face to take my lips with his. We went inside and I tried to show him the house while he tried to be interested but our minds were on each other and being together.

"I have to change. I'm still wearing my work clothes." I said and headed for the bedroom.

"I'll help." He said and followed me.

He unbuttoned my shirt and slid it off my shoulders, dragging his hands along my bare skin. I unbuttoned his dress shirt and threw it to the side. He undid my trousers and I unbuttoned his jeans. We slid each others boxers off and shucked our shoes till we stood naked in front of one another. We were breathing so hard I felt lightheaded. He smiled.

"You look a little dizzy. You need some water?"

"No, I only need what I've always needed. You." I answered and pulled him to me.

It seemed like for hours we rolled around on the bed, just content to be with each other and touch our bodies, and have them rub together. I took him in my mouth and gave him pleasure till I couldn't stand it anymore, and needed him inside me. My need was his need and he threw on a condom and lubed himself up. He was above me and he drew my legs open while he played with my asshole.

"Oh God, Alex. I need you so bad."

"I know, baby. I'm here for you. I need you too. We'll do this together."

He said as he fit himself inside of me. The fullness of his cock swelled inside me and I moaned at the feeling. I wrapped my arms around him and felt him wrap his around me. He pulled me to him and we kissed while experiencing the feeling of being connected.

"Do you want me to move, baby?"

"Yeah, papi. I want you to move."

He did. He stroked my ass with his dick, pulling out and pushing in, building an intense pressure where we were joined. He did this slowly as he stared into my eyes and I stared into his. We were satisfied with this slow, sweet coupling until our needs changed and our bodies required our completion. Without speaking his rhythm increased and I matched his pace. I took him into me as I languished in the feeling of him. He didn't announce his cumming, just watched my face till he saw mine and finished with me, growling his delight.

"I like your house." He said to me after catching his breath. I laughed and he joined in.

"You prick! That's what you say to me after?" I smiled feeling totally relaxed and only a little fearful that this was just a dream.

"No." He said and rolled to me. "I love you, Josh. I'm so happy I met you. When you were gone I couldn't stand it. I'm so sorry for what I did to you."

"I love you to, Alex. I forgive you, but don't even send me away again."

"I never will." He said and I believed him. For the first time I felt that this was real.

That weekend at the party, I was in full spirits. I had my house and my lover, who had just finished moving his stuff into our new home. It felt full, though rough around the edges with what we still needed to finish. Our home was full with love and with life as our friends, even Alex's sister and nieces who were visiting from Mexico, came to enjoy our new place and new found happiness. His sister took the news that her brother had decided on a gay life quite well and had sworn that his mother and other brothers and sister in Mexico would too. Maryellen sat with me at the table on the lanai as our guests mingled and Alex rough housed with the kids in the pool. I smiled as I felt shaken again that he was truly mine.

"You look happy." Maryellen smiled.

"I am." I said and had nothing more to say. What more could I say? I was happy to the core.

"All because of me." She said and I laughed.

"Maybe a little bit because of you," I agreed. "But there was a quite a lot that he and I had to do with it."

"Yeah, but that's just stuff." She answered. Alex came up from behind me and wrapped me in a big wet hug.

"Oh Jesus!!" I cried.

"No, still just me." He laughed.

"Thanks for that, hon." I said sarcastically, even though I didn't mind in the least. He leaned and whispered in my ear.

"When are these people leaving, baby?" My face flushed with anticipation.

"Hopefully, very soon, papi." I answered and kissed him with all the love in my heart.

Everyone did leave soon and we waved them off as if we were sad to see them go but really just intent on being together. We made love into the early morning and felt him curl his length behind me, spooning me. He wrapped one great hairy arm over me and nuzzled the nape of my neck.

"I love you, Josh." He whispered.

"I love you, Alex." I answered. He snored.