Addiction

Hi guys. Yes this is another short chapter and not this isn't two chapters combined. I liked this chapter way too much to partner it up with another and I didn't wanna wait until I finished chapter four (go to my profile if you don't get what I'm talking about) to post this. So enjoy!

Also thank you guys so much for all the comments and complements. Omygosh I didn't think people would love this that much! Wow! So killer kisses to ya'll!

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"Stop...please!" I giggled even more as mommy tickled me and blew on my tummy. Finally she stopped and I was just an out of breath mass of hiccups peppered with giggles. My mother stopped tickling me and began to give me kisses and hugs.

"I love you so, so much," she said in a honey voice that dripped in so much love and adoration for her only child. She smelled really good...like the butter and vanilla cookies that she made mixed with her perfume and the natural scent that a loving mother gave off. She looked just like me...or rather I looked like her. We both shared pale, porcelain like skin with soft, pitch black hair that was one step away from being blue streaked, red Cupid 's bow lips, high, sharply soft cheekbones, and almond shaped green eyes flecked with blues and ambers that were surrounded by bushes of long eyelashes. Daddy didn't like that I looked like mommy so much. He said that boys shouldn't look like girls. He said that if they did, they would be tempted to act like girls and start to like men. Daddy said that doing that went against God's rules. Daddy said that I would burn in hell if I ever became one of those girl-boys. Yep my father tried to burn me himself when he found out that I was really an 'ass-loving, dirty faggot.' I think that my mother was the only one stopping my father from killing me, but she was sickly and died when I was 13. That's when hell began...fuck hell would have been better than what I went through.

"Alezai, know that mommy loves you very much. You must be strong for when I'm gone. Ok? And remember that when it's too much...run for mommy." The innocent little boy I was when she said that just nodded, not really getting what his mother was really saying. All he wanted was more of the butter and vanilla cookies. Maybe I shouldn't have run? Would I be dead if I hadn't run? Would I be somewhere else instead of this hell?

~~

I woke up in agony. I hurt everywhere. My head hurt, my legs hurt, my thighs hurt and my ass hurt the most. I tried to get up, but I got dizzy and nauseous. I threw up blood and stomach acid into a corner and fell backwards away from it. "What the fuck happened to you Alezai?" I said to myself. What happened to the boy who wanted to be strong for his mother? What happened to the boy who wouldn't take his father shit and ran? What the fuck happened to Alezai himself? I was a shell of myself...I disappointed my mother. I'm nothing. I bet that mom is up in heaven right now, crying and wondering what happen to her baby.

"Mommy..." I began. "...if you can hear me and if there really is a heaven, don't waste your tears on me. I'm not worth it. Never cry over the damned." I felt something wet slither down my cheek. My shaky hand reached up and touched it. It was a tear – a tear that was diluted by my blood. I stared at the little drop of liquid on my finger and broke into sobs. I missed my mother. I missed her so much. Without my only light, I was wandering in the dark.

I screamed in sorrow, "Why God? What the fuck did I ever do to you? Are you the evil one or is it the Devil?" I gasped for breathe as I sobbed, "What type of sick fuck takes a-away someone's l-light...What type of evil, sadistic bastard lets someone just wallow in miserable pain instead of killing them?" I let out another shattering sob.

After some time, I only had sniffles left. I felt emptier and rawer than usual. I was shivering and staring blankly out the window. It was the middle of the night. All the good little boys and girls had gone home for the night. Now it was time for the demons to come out. It was a gorgeous night in New York though. The sky was a dark, majestic purple and the stars shined like they never did before as the moon sung its lonely song. I giggled at that. My mother used to say that every night the moon sang a song because it was lonely. She said that none of the stars wanted to hang out with him because he was just a rock while they were stars. Ever since then I used to love the moon. As a child I thought that if I loved the moon almost as much as I loved my mommy, the moon wouldn't be so lonely anymore.

Just that moment someone walked in. It was Jalen. Jalen was a sweetheart and a cutie too. He had toasted almond skin, curly dark brown hair, a lithe body, and eyes that were such a light brown that they looked green. Two little studs adorned the corner of Jalen's bottom lip, another one took place in his tongue, and the last was in his belly button.

"Fuck Zai!" Jalen exclaimed. His slanted eyes looked glassy with tears as he rushed over to me and kneeled down.

"Oh my god...what happened. He went too far this time. You went too far." Jalen cradled me to his chest as he rocked me back and forth and scolded me as he cursed Him.

"You idiot. I told you to come with me...I told you to stay with Whitney and me." I felt the hot little droplets of Jalen's tears on my head.

"If I came with you, He would have found me and you. I love you Jale and I love Whitney too...I can't let you guys go through the consequences," I murmured to Jalen. He just kissed the top of my head. Jalen knew what would happen if he helped me too. Finally, Jalen helped me up and into the bathroom.

Silently and caringly, Jalen washed me up and cared for all my cuts and bruises as best that he could. "You stay right here." Jalen said as he left me in the tub to soak out some of my pain. After about 20 minutes, Jalen came back with towels, food, and an oversized shirt for me to wear. Jalen helped me out the tub and wrapped me up in the towel. When I was nice and dry, he helped me into my shirt and fed me. I scarfed down the toasted sandwich and vacuumed the bottle of water. When I downed half the bottle, I just began to sip at it while talking to Jale.

"How's Whitney?" I asked. Whitney is Jalen's sister and roommate.

"She's fine. Her new boyfriend is like a puppy – all protective and loving, it's adorable." We began talking about mundane things. All the while we were trying to avoid the inevitable – how would I get out? Finally, when nothing else was left to be said, Jalen gathered up all the evidence that he had been here and put it in a garbage bag. Jalen looked at me, eye to eye, with an intense face.

"Alezai," Jalen began. He only used my first name when he was serious. "I left a pair of sneakers, jeans and underwear in the bathroom, under one of the boards. With them, there's a piece of paper with an address and a wallet with a hundred dollars." I began to protest but Jale stopped me with a finger to my lips, "I know the consequences. I know that this could be the last time that we ever see each other, but after this time, I can't take it anymore knowing that you may be killed." Jalen's face softened as he said, "I love you Zai."

I began tearing up as I shakily said, "I-I love you too Jale." We crushed each other in a fierce, but melancholy hug. The hug showed that we knew that if I left, we would never see each other again or at least for a very long time. We were crying the happiest sad tears ever. Finally, Jale and I pulled apart slightly.

Jale kissed me lightly on the lips before he said, "If you're gonna leave...wait until I'm gone completely...wait until about midnight, the darkest part of night. When you leave, don't walk, run like all bloody hell and don't stop running until you get to that address. You'll be safe then...I hope." With and one final squeeze, Jalen left with the garbage bag. I watched until he blended in with the darkness.