It was all due to Barry. Barry my guardian angel of sorts. The guy who really showed me the way ahead.
The guy who patiently showed me how I should deal with my sexual leaning and really come out of myself.. In fact just come out and declare my sexuality without being ashamed because of the result of my strictly puritan upbringing that it was a sin to be anything but what was considered normal.
But thanks primarily to the internet for introducing me to a guy named Barry Hopkins - even if he was old enough (just) to be my father - that being if he had sired me at the age of sixteen..
Well he told me he had been married once but it came to a sticky end because of his turning to homosexuality which he had not realised until later.
Online we talked about just coming out with it, all the time I saying how difficult it was for me to do that with the sound of my Victorian type mother taking me across her knee and soundly span baking me after catching me with a screwdriver handle in my bum.
"That's what made me feel so abnormal" I told Barry. But I was simply discovering myself - discovering ways to gratify my secret sexual aspirations which made me feel good. But my mother put that all to asunder and it was not until I bought a computer and browsed the internet that I found someone like Barry who would put me to rights.
"We shall meet and get to know each other, then if you like you will be welcome to share a weekend at my place okay with you Pete?"
It was fine, Barry had a very posh place with a lovely garden and I felt very comfortable there, sitting in the veranda and enjoying the sun, both of us in our shorts and me feeling aroused by Barry wearing the slickest of white shorts displaying a very manly chest.
We got to talking a lot about our uttermost secrets.
"But they have no need to be secrets anymore with us, Pete Huh?"
And gently he gave me the confidence to tell him in great details what I use to do in the quest to find some sort of gratification, like inserting implements into myself - discovering just how deep I could go and how it gave me wonderful feelings twisting and bending it to stretch me inside.
"I guess we share alike" Barry said
"You mean you have done that?"
"Sure have, I did it with some flexible rubber piping which was a delightful experience, then placing a mirror along the side of my bed sop I could lay on the floor, twist and watch myself inserting a length into my ass."
"That's why I did. Not with a pipe but in front of a mirror" I said openly gaining confidence all the time as we shared a pot of coffee.
Barry laughed and talked about the things we do to get a climax when all the time. All we need is to find the rig guy to share with, to enjoy the real thing.
"I have dreamed of that frequently" I told Barry.
"Me too but my aspirations and my preferences turned out to be giving rather than taking"
I held my breath, was everything I had anticipated with our meeting about to disappoint.
"How do you mean Barry" I asked.
"Well I just prefer to take the masculine part as a guy does with a woman, I am bisexual you see, is that okay?"
I thought about it, But happily I knew I was simp0ly a taker, having yearned many times to feel a cock inside me.
What it was I don't know but it was as if Barry was reading my mind, "shall we give it a go then, Pete I would like that if you are game?"
I felt so excited I dropped my coffee cup, spilling some fluid over my jeans which gave Barry the perfect excuse to say; "Off with them, I'll shove them into the washing machine, they will be dry by tomorrow."
So I removed them and stood there in my red and black boxers shorts and feeling not embarrassed as once I would have done given the consequences but instead, feeling good and comfortable about myself, even to the point that seeing the approving downward look of Barry I felt very wanting of what Barry had to offer.
He went to the kitchen and returned inviting me to chill a bit and relax on the big leather bound settee.
It did not feel at all strange when he sidled to me and for the first time ever I felt the touch of a hand slide up the inside of my thigh and enjoying it, I held my breath as it finger walked higher and higher into the place of my sexuality.
"Nice Pete?" Barry asked with a wonderful smile, those blue eyes of his appealing and inquisitive.
I returned that it was very nice and so I came to enjoy the wonderful series of teasing and touching.
He grasped the waist of my boxer shorts and gently pulled then down, urging me to twist and turn on my side. It was heaven feeling him do that, and then when they were completely off and my polo shirt too.