A Coming Out

I was standing in my apartment looking through a book shelf of mine when something fell over and hit the floor with a thud. I bent down to pick it up and I found that it was one of my photo albums. I looked at the picture it opened to, and instantly I was reminded of the face I saw in the photograph.

I put the album back on the shelf and went to my chair. Let me tell you that in my old age I have loved many men. The photo I saw was that of an angel. His name was Charlie and he was no older than 18 when I first met him. I was 21. I knew something was different about him when I ran in to him literally that day in the train station on my way to college. On that day I went to class just like any other but I remember feeling as though this day was different, but at that point I just couldn't figure it out. My very first love was on the horizon and I was blind.

It was the start of a new semester and I had just begun a new class. I believe it was advanced skills. It was my senior year at "le Cordon Bleu" in New York City. When I walked in to that class there he was again. I didn't know much about him, and I had never seen him before that morning in the train station. He was an out-of-state transfer. He was so cute. He had this porcelain skin, dark blond hair, emerald green eyes, and a bubble butt. He had an 'OK' body because he wasn't built, but he was slim with just a little bit of cushion. I like my men with just a little cushion. I guess it's because they're softer.

When I first met him, I didn't think he was gay but I soon had my suspicions. On the surface he wasn't, I mean not that my gaydar could detect, but I looked closer and I picked out little tiny tells which lead me to believe he wasn't out. I didn't think much about it. All I knew about him was that he was a cute class mate and we seemed to get along. We were paired up together to work on our class work. Nothing else was expected. As our relationship grew we started to see each other outside of class. He would invite me to go to a movie, or go clubbing at straight clubs no less, but it really didn't seem like it was going anywhere. It was nothing other than just being friends, but at the same time it was like he was sending me these mixed signals.

I tried not to think anything of it. Maybe it was me who was just reading too much into him. I just continued being his friend. I would see him in class and we would go out, usually with friends. We were never alone. Every time he had me thinking that it wasn't going anywhere, he would say something or do something that would make me second guess myself.

Then time came to take our final exam. The final in that class was basically this. Everyone was paired up and the pairs would have to cook something with very few ingredients. I was paired with him. We now spent more and more time together. We would spend hours over the week planning, just the two of us, at my apartment. He had a roommate and my place was quiet.

During one of our study sessions I was in the middle of reading something aloud to him that I had found in a cook book. I could feel him just staring at me. I knew when he first walked in the door that something was off, but I just left it alone. At that point I was just so focused that I really didn't care. I finally looked up and he was looking at me with his beautiful piercing eyes. He was trying to tell me something but he seemed too scared to move or breathe.

I told him just say whatever you need to say, but he wouldn't. Looking at him, it seemed like he wanted to, but it was like he couldn't. I then got fed up I yelled "what is it"?

He shook his head, I closed my book and said, "you know you can tell me anything, you know I'm not the kind of person who would do anything bad to you, what is it, just tell me."

He then said in this shaky voice, "I just don't know how people will react to it."

I told him "Honey I am gay and if there is anything you should be scared to tell me, it better not be that."

He shook his head up and down like he was saying yes. I told him "why would you be scared to tell me something like that knowing that I am too"?

He broke down into tears and he fell into the chair. I got up and went over to him. I put my hands on his shoulders and said, "It's OK. You don't have to hide when you're with me. You know that right?"

I leaned down and hugged him and was reminded of the first time I ever told anyone I was gay, and I sympathized with him. I told him, "If you need someone to talk to about anything then I am here."

I moved back to my side of the table and said, "What do you want to talk about?"

He told me everything! I told him "you will feel better and eventually nothing will bother you and you will be able to just let go and come out when you are ready. There is no need to rush."

From then on we became closer. We would spend hours talking on the phone, on the internet and in person. We talked mostly about being gay. We talked about all of the things that gay men like to do, where to go, and who to do. He was a really good friend.

We did great on our final exam. We made a 'fois gras' fried rice. It was delicious! After class we went back to my place to celebrate and to finish eating what we made. I was standing next to my kitchen table. I opened the plastic container of food. He got forks from the drawer in the kitchen. I took a fork from his hand and put it in the container.

I took out some food and was bringing it to my mouth when he stopped me. He leaned in and kissed me. His lips where soft and loving, and it felt like we just became one.

He whispered in my ear,"I have never kissed another man before". I didn't utter anything back. I just looked into his eyes and kissed him more. Even though he was inexperienced he was a damn good kisser. I dropped my fork and moved my hand to his back. I slowly lowered my hand so it would rest on his butt. I brought him close to me, pressing our bodies together. It made me feel like we where one. He reached for my shirt then took it off. I then removed his as well. We pressed our bodies together harder, feeling each other's warm skin. I moved my hands up and down his body feeling his strong back and rear as I pressed into him.

I moved my lips down his neck. He moved his head so I could have better access. I kissed, bit, and sucked his neck. I could feel the vibrations in his throat from moaning on my lips. I slid my hands up and down his chest. I moved my hands to his waist and slid down his pants.

We turned so he was now leaning on the table. I kissed down his chest making sure to tease his nipples. I lowered my head even more. When the strain on my neck was getting uncomfortable I went down to one knee. I kissed round about the waist band on his boxers as I slowly pulled them down. I rubbed my face in his pubic hair. He kicked off his shoes and I pulled his pants and boxers off the rest of the way.

I seized his cock with my hands gently. It was decent sized, about 8 inches, but thick. I slowly teased it with my tongue, the action causing him to twitch. I inserted it in my mouth and tasted it. It tasted like sweet candy. I moved my head from side to side while his cock was going in and out of my mouth. I pressed my tongue into his tip, and moved it around. I took it out and licked my way further down and I engulfed each ball in my mouth. I licked every part of his manhood.

He pulled my head up and we kissed once more. He turned my body around so I was now leaning on the table. He slowly moved his lips from my face and kissed down my neck, up to my ear lobes, and back down to my nipples. He was genital but aggressive at the same time. What I was feeling is almost too much to describe. He bit my neck and licked up and down. The sensations alone made me feel as though I was going to cum.

He moved down past my chest and abs. I kicked off my shoes. He licked in my belly button before making his decent to my cock which was throbbing in anticipation. He felt it through my pants just before removing my pants. He pressed his face into it, kissed it, and rubbed it with his hands. He removed my boxers and placed his mouth over the head of my penis. He licked and sucked it gently before attempting to take it into his throat. He gagged on his first try on my modest 7 inches. But on the second attempt he was able to take it all the way down his throat.

I began to face fuck him slowly, as I placed my hand on the back of his head and tried to force myself deeper into his mouth. He moved his head side to side, trying to take more and more in. I could feel myself getting closer.

He pulled off and then just sucked the tip. He moved his tongue around it, and in just a minute I started to spew load of after load of warm jizz into his mouth and onto his face. He squeezed up and down my shaft with his hand making sure to get every last drop out.

He then began to kiss my leg and worked his way around to my awaiting pucker. I moved my body so I was now lying on the table. I opened my legs so he could reach what he wanted. He circled my rosebud with his wet warm tongue. He placed more and more spit on it to get it moist. He rose from his knees and lifted my legs into the air and he placed his erect cock on my awaiting ass. Then he pushed into me. I could feel his cock pop in. I told him just keep pushing slowly. Once he was all the way in, he began to move in and out. First slowly and then faster, as the moments passed he became more and more aggressive. The table was making loud banging noises and I was moaning in sheer pleasure. He began to tense up and I knew it would be soon.

He slowed his pace and, like a true thoroughbred, came into me with such force I could feel the warm streams of his cum inside me. He lowered his head and kissed me again.

We got off of the table, which I was sure was broken. We went to the bedroom where we just cuddled on my bed. Then we fell asleep. The next morning I awoke to the smell of bacon and eggs. He had gotten up before me and decided to make breakfast. I just laid there thinking to myself about what happened the previous night. I couldn't help but to smile. Just a minute later he came back into the room with a plate of food for me. He kissed me again and said "thank you". I replied, "For what? I should be the one thanking you."

He stayed with me for a couple of days after and eventually he moved in. I was with him for almost 2 years before we broke up. He wanted to see other people. But during the time we had, I have so many memories. Some were good and some not, but I would have to say that I still love him to this day.