"Would you rather be gay and rich or straight and poor?" asked Kyle.
As high school boys, we all replied with an enthusiastic, "Straight and poor!" I don't know how it always gets to this no matter what the subject. We end up asking Would You questions and it always ends up bizarre.
A pretty good question hit me. "Would you eat a guy's ass but the reward would be you could fuck ANY girl in the world with no bad consequences? Celebrities included!"
All my friends shot it down immediately. I am not gay by any means but I felt that it would be gay to not go through with it. I argued my case but homophobia runs strong within high schoolers. I was comfortable with the fact that I was a straight man that I would no doubt eat a guy's ass to be able to pick up any woman I wanted.
I wondered about the question throughout the day and when I got home, I took my usual half hour nap and had the strangest dream.
I was in a windowless room with nothing but a bed in the middle. A man appeared in a puff of smoke that scared the hell out of me.
"WHO ARE YOU?!" I asked in shock.
"Woah calm down dude." The man told me calmly. "I'm a genie. A special kind. I go around listening to men's conversations about who would do what to obtain something. I then bring men who are deadset on doing their punishment for their reward. 99% of the time, i'm giving men riches in return for watching them eat 10 year old food, swallow thumbtacks, and do other painful things. I'm in the mood to shake things up so I'm gonna grant you the power to fuck any woman in the world if you eat my ass."
My dream self was functioning different from how I would normally react so I indifferently said, "Sure why not."
He pulled down his pants and I got to doing it but I'm gonna skip that since this isn't a gay male story.
I awoke sitting up and said, "What the fuck" to myself. I've never had a sex dream with a guy in it. But dreams are just dreams. Stupid conversation must've caused it.
I went to school the next day and felt different. Like I had a newfound energy. I sat down in class with my friends and the conversation turned to the Would You questions like always.