Will I Regret It

We were lying on his bed again. We were both over 18, but just barely. I was still very young.

A great big bed, so comfortable, so lovely. We were "hanging out" before a party. I mean, that's what our parents thought.

He was playing the music loud so anyone around couldn't hear my moans. A fast paced alternative rock. I was so used to hearing this when we hooked up, I got turned on just by hearing it.

We were in our typical positions. He had stripped off my black T-shirt and bra, which lay crumpled in the floor. My jeans followed soon after, and it was only until he deemed I was sufficiently naked that I was allowed to start taking off his clothes. My submission shines through, even in the beginning.

He was rough with me. He grabbed at my breasts, unforgiving, abrasive. I whimpered and moaned, both turned on and pained. He abused my cunt with his hands, thrusting his fingers in and out repeatedly, merciless against my cries. He tried to fit more and more fingers in, desperately tried to give me a taste of what his dick would feel like. He didn't bother touching my clit. He was too good for that.

After he let me remove his shirt, he soon made me remove his pants. I struggled with his belt and button while he watched. After finally loosening them, I pulled them off. I moved my way back up to his face and kissed him lightly. He only tolerated this for a few seconds before pushing my face down to his hard dick, pushing through his boxers. I looked at him with big eyes, non-verbally asking if I could forgo pleasuring him like this, just this once. This was before I learned I loved to suck cock.

He simply put his hands behind his head with a malicious smile. It was almost like I was trained. When he made that gesture, I knew what to do. I pulled down his boxers, and in my inexperience, felt his dick slap against my face. I didn't bother looking at it, I've seen it enough before. I put him in my mouth. I sucked as hard as I could, and bobbed my immature head up and down. I looked up at him, but his eyes were unfriendly. He was gone, lost in his way to attempt to orgasm.

I stifled my slurping and gagging noises, too young to know that he would enjoy the sound of my struggle. I tirelessly moved up and down, well attempting to fondle his balls lovingly with my right hand. I pushed his dick deep in my mouth. I felt it slide deep in my mouth, and after a bit of pushing, slip into my throat. I could breathe, but I held it there because I knew he liked it. After I couldn't hold it anymore, I pulled it out of my mouth and took a few deep breathes. I licked at his balls while I jacked him off to give me time to catch my breathe. I took one into my mouth, sucked and licked like a child would on candy. I shifted to the other, and then moved on to try to do both. My small, innocent mouth couldn't figure it out.

I gave up moved back to his cock, and licked and sucked at the head. But it wasn't good enough for him. I would have to go deep, suck him hard. So rinse and repeat.

When I determined that he would be satisfied, I moved up to kiss him, but he refused. I forgot he wouldn't kiss me after my dick was in my mouth. Oh well, he'd forget later.

And then it began. He layed me on my back and put himself on top of me. He spread my legs and aligned his dick to match up with my cunt. I still had my panties on- the thinnest pair I owned, a black peace of cotton not thick enough to hide any touching, so easy to move that he could have pushed them off to the side to fit his dick in.

But he didn't. He pressed on my vag through the cotton. He simulated fucking me, pushing his hard cock through the cotton and into my slick hole. Just a tiny bit, just barely entering me. He stared at my eyes, beginning me to want it. He moved back, and fucked me with his fingers. My soft mewls from before grew into loud groans of desire. After he decided I was wet enough, he rotated to the previous position. He teased me. He continued this rotation, getting me wet enough to tease me with his dick.

After a while, I pulled him off me. We laid next to each other. We talked. He made some offhanded comment, I can't remember, something like, "But we'll never have sex, so it doesn't matter." I had been making him wait. I told him I didn't want to have sex. Losing my virginity was too much. Too much of a change. I couldn't stand that. But I was tired. I was tired of resisting. I was tired of denying myself. I was tired of his pouting and his pressure. I wanted to let go. I wanted to be spontaneous. So that's what I did.

"Let's do it."

He asked me, "Seriously? For real?"

"Yes, come on."

He scrambled up and searched his closet for a condom. I felt unsure and wanted to tell him I changed my mind. But I couldn't. I had already agreed. I couldn't back out on him again.

I was so young.

He slipped it on. He spread my legs and pressed his dick to my cunt. I was still wet from before, luckily. He entered me slowly, no surprises, and I let out a sound somewhere between a moan and a scream. I was louder than I had ever been before. I never felt so filled. The lubricant from the condom made me feel gross. I screamed, I moaned. It felt good, it felt weird.

He just kept thrusting, didn't acknowledge my screams, didn't care about my moans. He stared at his dick thrusting in and out of me.

I don't know how loud it lasted, but eventually he must have cum, because he stopped. It was the first time he didn't demand me to get on my knees so he could cum on my face. He slowly pulled his sheathed dick out of me. I immediately burst into tears. Everything I knew had changed. I had grown up. I was a slut. I was so young.

He got upset. He held me. He asked what he did wrong. He apologized. I just kept crying, saying it was OK, crying. I cried into his naked chest. Eventually, he held me, and realizing what to do, said, "Let it out." I didn't look at him, just cried into him. I felt him slip off his condom. I stopped crying. Everything felt weird. I had waves of emotion. But it was ok.

We had been dating for 8 months at that time. But I was so young. We continued to have more sex, I began to love it.

Do I regret it? Sometimes. Only when he held it over me when we broke up. But losing my virginity so young? Not a chance.