"Joe, can I ask you a question?" Jada, my wife of 10 years asked me.
"Sure, what is it?"
"Are you gay?" she asked.
"What?" I asked, trying to quell the fear that I was certain was obvious in my voice. "Why would you ask that?"
"Joe, I'm not as naive as you think. I've seen the sites you visit on the Internet. I've watched some of the porn you've watched. They all show men having gay sex. I've even seen your responses to Craigslist postings."
So there it was. I underestimated my wife's tech knowledge and her curiosity about what I did on the Internet. She had discovered my deepest secret, my biggest fantasy.
The best way to describe myself is black and bi curious. I know that is clichΓ© but it's the most accurate description I can find to describe myself. I don't know if I really want to have sex with a man. I know for certain that I don't find men attractive. I know I don't want to kiss a man. But when I think about sucking a man's cock or being fucked by a man, my heart races, my cock swells, and I seek outlet on the Internet.
It was time to come clean. I couldn't lie to her. I didn't want to lose her but she deserves to know. "No, I'm not gay, Jada. But, I do think about sex with a man. It turns me on, but it's a fantasy. I honestly don't know if I would ever act on it.
"But what you aren't considering is that most of the sites I've visited, most of the movies I've watched are all bisexual in nature. What turns me on about this fantasy is that you are there with me, that you are a participant. I fantasize about you being turned on by this, by you convincing me to do this", I said.
"How long have you had these desires, Joe?" Jada asked me.
"I don't really know, Jada. I can remember having these fantasies since about the time we got married" I said. "But I can't say for sure that I didn't have these fantasies back in high school or college."
"Is it because of me? Do you not love me anymore?" she asked.
"No, absolutely not! I love you as much now, as I did when we got married. I don't have any emotional attachment to the men I fantasize about, hell, I don't even imagine the faces of the men when I have these fantasies. I really can't explain it. I just know that I'm curious about sex with a man: what it feels like, how it feels to give a man pleasure, to be fucked. I don't know...It's just a fantasy of mine."
"So you don't want to actually experience being fucked?" Jada asked. "I don't know" I said. "I guess deep down inside, I really do want to try it, but I'm nervous."
"Why have you kept this a secret? I mean, I thought we shared everything."
"Jada, this is confusing and scary to me. On top of that, I know your thoughts about homosexual sex. I was afraid that you would divorce me. Hell, I'm terrified you'll divorce me now that you know."
"Well, I really didn't know how to process this at first" she said. "After seeing some of the sites and watching some of the videos I got a bit more comfortable with the idea. Now that we've talked about it it's less of a turn off. I'm not saying it's a turn on, either, but I'm more open to the idea."
My mind was reeling at this point. I never thought my wife would find out my secret and was terrified if she did find out. Now she knows and she's saying that she is open to the idea! My whole world has been turned upside down in a matter of a few minutes.
"Come with me, let's go to the bedroom" Jada said.
She took my hand and I followed her into our spacious bedroom. She climbed on the bed and invited me to lay next to her. Her lips found mine and kissed me lovingly, passionately. My lips opened to her probing tongue. Our kisses were like those we shared when we were dating.
Her hand found it's way to my zipper. She worked my zipper down and undid my button all while keeping my tongue in her vacuum lock. Fishing out my cock I felt more than heard her moan.
She pulled away from the kiss and worked my pants and underwear down. She took off my shoes, pulled my pants, socks and underwear off and then slid her hands up both of my legs. She wrapped one hand around the base of my cock while gently kneading my balls with the other.
Looking into my eyes, she lowered her mouth onto my cock and engulfed it in one slow motion. Her tongue slid up and down the sensitive underside of my cock. She continued her slow slide down my cock until reaching the base before easing back up to the sensitive head.
She continued to work on my dick while I moaned in appreciation. It was a struggle for me to keep from cumming, knowing that I wanted to give her pleasure equal to that which she was giving me. I let her work me over for a few more seconds but finally, grudgingly pulled her off my cock.
I pulled her back up to kiss her, while my tongue probed her mouth with vigor. I started to slide her sweater off so that I could access her bra and finally remove her 34C tits from their constraints. I worked my way down to her breast, first licking, and then gently nibbling on her left nipple, which grew to a beautiful nub under my attention. I switched to her right nipple and bit her nipple more forcefully. She cried out and pulled my head hard into her breast.
I released her nipple and kissed my way down to her flat belly while working her pants and panties off her hips. Siding the rest of her clothes off of her she stood gloriously naked in front of me. Kissing my way up her legs, I pay special attention to the inside of her knees, a place I know drives her crazy.
Reaching my final destination, I smelled her wonderful scent. I dove in between her legs to lick her pussy. I lightly licked her outer lips, slowly working my way to her clit. When I reached her rosebud I lightly grazed it at first and then began to pay special attention to her clit. She began to writhe under me and I had to grab onto her ass to hold her in place. She grabbed my head to pull me into her pussy and began to moan, softly at first, then louder as her orgasm continued to build. Her writhing stopped but her moaning increased and I knew that she was very close. I continued my attention on her clit and she cried out, her orgasm rushing through her body. I knew that at this point she was too sensitive and I backed away, admiring her as she comes down from her orgasm.
As soon as she has recovered she pushed me on to my back and climbed on top of me. Spreading her lips she slid on to me in one swift motion. We both sighed in ecstasy and she began to rock up and down, riding my cock slowly at first, then with greater and greater intensity. I was trying hard to keep from cumming but soon it became too intense and I launched what felt like the biggest load I had ever shot. Jada continued to ride me as I came down from my ecstasy and then leaned forward and gave me a loving kiss.
What happened next took me completely by surprise. She climbed off my deflating cock and crawled up so that her pussy was directly over my mouth. I could see my cum sliding out of her. She lowered herself on to my mouth and I had no choice but to start licking her again. The taste of her juices mingling with mine was extremely erotic. Her moans grew in intensity and she rode my face to a second orgasm.
Climbing off of me she gave me a tender, passionate, sexy kiss and asked, "Did you like that?"
I managed to mumble "MM HMM" or something like that. Then she asked me if I enjoyed cleaning her up. I really didn't know how to answer that. Of course, I enjoyed the whole situation including cleaning her up but I still didn't know what she thought about my fantasy. If I answered truthfully, would she finally have the evidence she needed for a divorce?
Finally she made it easy on me and said, "I know you enjoyed it, you don't have to answer. It's okay. I want you to experience your fantasy. It's something that I'm open to and want to do for you."
I didn't know what to do so I just hugged her tight and told her I loved her. She fell asl**p in my arms but I was having a hard time sl**ping. I still didn't know how I felt about this scenario. I felt sure that Jada was willing to help me fulfill my fantasy but what would happen afterwards? Would she still be attracted to me? Would she still love me? How would I feel afterwards?
The next morning Jada didn't mention our conversation and I didn't bring it up either. In fact, we didn't discuss it for the next two weeks, but then on Friday we were out at a bar and Jada asked, "Are you ready to experience your fantasy?"
I said, "I don't know, why do you ask?"
"Well, at 10:00 tonight a man is coming over to have sex with you", she said.
I was shocked! "What? Who? How did you set this up so quickly?" I said.
"My friend from college, Eric or Eric, is gay. I've kept in touch with him over the years and after our conversation a few weeks ago I emailed him. I told him I didn't know what to do and just wanted someone to talk to that might understand. He told me that desires like yours are very common. He said he personally has had sex with four different married guys over the years and that many of his friends have had similar experiences. He made me realize that your fantasy doesn't mean that you don't love me or that you want to leave me but that you really do just want to try something new."
Jada continued, "After wrapping my head around the whole thing I asked him how I could meet someone to help you fulfill your fantasy. I told him that I was worried about finding someone that was safe and would treat us with respect. Finally, he suggested that he help us out. He's clean, respectful and I trust him, so I invited him to come over tonight."