"Who am I?" I thought to myself as I replied to the online ad, as this was so out of character for me to be doing. I was so nervous, I had never done anything like this and the subject matter was nothing I knew but wanted so badly to know more of, so there I was with my finger hitting "Send".
Over the weekend, we quickly got to know each other, the cat and mouse of back and forth was so exhilarating and enticing. It consumed my thought process, I wanted it. I liked it. I liked him. Who is he, who is this man that has my full attention, that has me waiting to know more, so curious I was to find out.
At this point, I know a few things, only a taste. The basics are there, he is a Dom that was looking for a submissive. I was a Type A control freak needing to let go. Is this a match made in heaven or a beautiful disaster? Only time would tell.
He tells me, he will "be my guide". Which I was totally on board for as I needed to be instructed, I needed it like I needed air. To release, to let go, to be told what to do, to be at the will of someone. "How sexy", I thought it was. I was all in, I wasn't going to hold back. I wasn't going to let this be like anything I had before. "What did I have to lose", I told myself.
Sure I would be vulnerable, but that was kind of exciting too. It really was such a connection that I felt (and I know this sounds so clichΓ©) that we had known each other for far longer that we had. It just seemed right, smooth, easy, primal and carnally synced.
The stranger, the stranger that is now in my mind. He is my head, "How did I allow him to get there", I thought. He had crept in, and I had allowed it without even putting up a fight, I never even seen him coming. The stranger that has me doing small tasks for him. This man I have never met has me, the woman who tells everyone else what to do, doing things for him that are so out of character for me.