I was a virgin. But then so was Holly, and tomorrow was to be our wedding day! We were both excited, and a bit terrified. I mean, I had no "experience" at all....Oh yeah...I had seen lots of pictures...even as a teenager I was able to get hold of dirty magazines...but I had never REALLY seen a pair of boobs. Well, that wasn't totally true. There was a door in our old farmhouse that separated my room from my younger and developing nicely, sister's room. I had watched through the keyhole a few times as she got ready for bed. But I don't count that. I had never had the opportunity to touch a girl's body in that way...and as far as below the waist was concerned, I had only seen that in pictures.
Holly on the other hand was a little ahead of me. She had worked for a hospital as a Nurse Aide since getting out of high school. Part of her job of caring for patients involved giving "sponge baths" to patients who could not bathe themselves. She had at least seen "guy's equipment" up close and handled it. But she was far from experienced in these matters, like me, she knew what was supposed to happen, but doing it was another thing all together. She had never allowed a guy to feel anywhere he was not supposed to, and had ended more than one date early because a guy would not take no for an answer. She was so innocent about "such things" I found out later that just a week before the wedding, her foster mother found out she had never established birth control for herself. She just didn't think about it...the thought of getting pregnant never crossed her mind.
Now, I am a normal guy, I just grew up being taught strong moral beliefs. Holly lost her parents at an early age and grew up in foster homes. These families also held strong moral beliefs, and she and I...well...we just never got "involved" that way with the opposite sex.
It wasn't that I didn't have the desire to have a sexual encounter, the fact is I thought about it all the time. I heard all the "talk" about girls at school, and undressed them with my eyes just as much as any other guy. I had many "sessions" as a teenager "taking care of the need' the way most boys my age did. In my late night fantasies, I made love to every girl in the school! Yep, like most boys my age the Sears catalog was my first "Playboy" magazine! But somehow I just could not bring myself to try and take that step. Maybe a lot of it was not having the opportunity, and being a bit on the shy side as well. I never had any dates while in high school, and was so shy that I never had any girlfriends. The first time I kissed a girl was after high school, if that tells you anything about how shy I was!
We dated a lot, and we did a lot of very heavy kissing, but it didn't go beyond that. There was one night that we got very hot and heavy in her apartment. We were on the couch kissing up a storm and it got uncomfortable. She got up, took my hand and led me to her bedroom. Now our wedding was 2 weeks away, and even though she led me to her bedroom, It was more of a "We'll have more room to kiss" thing than an invitation to make love to her. But it was getting pretty heavy and I must admit I was more than willing to go further, though I was not (yet) trying to get further. Then the doorbell rings...it's my brother...he saw my car and dropped by to visit. He didn't stay long, but it crashed the mood. I have wondered to this day, just how far it might have gone if we'd not been disturbed. I knew that she wanted to stay a virgin till she was married...and no matter how much I wanted it, I could not bring myself to push her into sex. Besides that...I loved her...and didn't want to do anything to lose her....she trusted me...and she was worth the wait.
We didn't talk about sex much, even when it was just days before the wedding. We both knew it was going to happen and I think we were both excited about it. But we just didn't know how to bring up the subject with each other, both of us shy I guess and afraid of offending the other. The only discussion we ever had about sex was in how we wanted to wait till marriage since we both saw it as an ultimate gift, one we could only give once, so it needed to be THE time and with THE person.
I lay there that night in bed...thinking about the ceremony in the morning....and thinking even more about that night ahead. I had no idea how to go about it. How do you go from checking into your motel room and taking your luggage in, to getting naked for the first time in front of the opposite gender and having sex? Once you were naked, when was it the right moment to actually "do it"? I had no clue! Everything that had been "taboo" and "inappropriate" was now in one short ceremony going to become allowable and expected and acceptable! How would she react? I mean...I am sure she was having some of the same questions.
Morning came....I got dressed...butterflies in my stomach as I waited for time to go to the church. It was going to be a small wedding, just our closest family members. My mother, father, 2 sisters, brother...she had a brother and 3 sisters, though they didn't spend many years together as kids...growing up in separate foster homes. The clock seemed to crawl...I was excited and very nervous...and wishing it was over with...but then comes the "other" part....and I was even more nervous about THAT!
The wedding began. Holly came down the aisle looking beautiful in a dress my mother had made for her. The ceremony was very simple, nothing fancy as we just didn't have the money for the frills and fluff. We said our vows and exchanged rings, a kiss and that was it. The wedding was short and sweet, but beautiful in its honesty and simplicity. It fit us perfectly...honest and simple.
My mother had put together a reception, and there was about 30 people waiting for us. We did the usual "feed each other cake and punch" business...opened some gifts....and then we went to change and get ready to take off on our honeymoon. We were now married, but she changed back in the bride room, I stayed just as I was.