I was raised by my mother in a very disciplined household in Scotland in the U.K., and as far back as I can remember being spanked was quite common. As a result I think that played a big part in my 'development' by being too strict, as I became very shy and introverted, and believe I developed a high pain threshold as a result.
There were times when I would do things deliberately in anger that would result in my being punished and sent to my room. I was never made to feel adequate, in fact the opposite is true as I was expected to be a 'high achiever,' so no matter what I did I was never made to feel good enough.
Because of my restrictions at home, I felt I was a bit of a loner in some ways, but others seemed to like me never the less, particularly the teachers as I was considered a model pupil. Other ladies liked me, or at least felt sorry for me because on my situation.
Emma was a spinster, a friend of mothers who often baby sat me over the years, she was the closest person outside our family who knew how I was treated and the restrictions that were placed on me at home. I felt I could trust her, I could tell her my woes and she would keep whatever I told her to herself, she was a great comfort to me growing up.
By the time I was 19 I was away from home at university and it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, I was away from mothers direct dominance so felt free to do what I wanted, as well as wearing more 'grown up' clothes, mainly garters and stockings and shoes with high heels.
My shyness was a bit of an embarrassment at first, finally having the freedom to make my own decisions, go where I wanted and do whatever I wanted now I was away from mothers clutches.
I got to know other students and soon made some friends to hang out with, one in particular was another student named Jennifer, who I got on very well with.
She introduced herself to me, "hi I'm Jennifer whats your name?" "Rosalyn" I replied, (I had always been called that by mother and teachers), "What do we call you?" she asked, "Rose or Rosie", suddenly it felt like I could call myself what I wanted and smiling at her said something like, "whatever fits" at this she just laughed.