This story deals with the hidden or dark side of human nature---it's like nothing I've ever written before. Any feedback on this work, and on all my other works as well, is appreciated greatly. Thank you all for supporting my stories as you have.
"So, Lily," my therapist Patrick said, rifling through his notes gently, "you are continuing to suffer the mental disturbances you originally came to see me about?" He looked up from the papers toward me and cocked his head in thought.
"Yes, sir," I replied obediently. "I have terrible feelings of anxiety, and can't enjoy anything anymore. I know I'm depressed, and clinically so, but the prescriptions you gave me aren't working for me anymore. I'm scared that my body is now resistant to their chemicals and---" My voice cracked and broke under the pressure of being strong, and my hands involuntarily shook.
"You're frightened that your illness is untreatable?" Patrick finished for me.
"Yes, sir."
"Well, then," he said, rising from his seat quietly and moving toward the window, "I see no reason not to tell you of an alternative treatment, my dear."
"What is it?"
"It's a relatively new idea to me, even though my colleagues have suggested for a couple of years that I practice it. I always thought my way of therapy was the best way to go, but you----you present a dilemma that even I have trouble understanding." Patrick stroked his chin in thought, gazing out the window at nothing. I had a sudden epiphany that this man was incredibly attractive---the thick, dark brown hair shading his eyes ever so slightly, the intelligent, piercing blue eyes that met mine inquisitively every time I had a therapy session with him, and of course I liked his studious appearance, dressed as he always was in crisp, businesslike attire. Patrick was in his late twenties, early thirties, and I was 22----I suppose it was an attack of "sexy older man syndrome." The delightful British accent didn't hurt either; I thought it made him sound more sophisticated and intelligent, certainly more than my Southern hick accent complimented my abilities.
"I don't know why I always go for nerds," I thought to myself with a chuckle. "But hey, he's not bad. Not bad at all, in fact," I thought, a slight smile curving my lips as I checked out his rear view. Well, he did have a nice ass.
He turned sharply around, and I quickly averted my gaze, an embarrassed blush appearing on my fair cheeks at almost being caught staring.
"The treatment is hypnosis---I'm quite sure you've heard of it?" I nodded. I wasn't a browser of medical magazines at the doctor's office for nothing.
"My colleagues have told me that for truly troubled patients, undergoing hypnosis can free the subconscious and reveal what lies at the root of the mental problem. In your case, I would hope to find the cause of your extreme mental anxiety and depression. Would you be up for it?" he asked me, fixing that same blue-eyed stare on me, almost putting me into a trance right then.
"The question is," I thought to myself, "why is he 'up' for something else altogether?" I had noted earlier that he seemed more than a little interested in me, and now a bulge in his pants seemed to confirm it. I was, obviously, a little nervous about being basically put under and not being able to fend off anything that might happen to me. It seemed ridiculous for me to be afraid, though; he was so kind, and never acted like the type to take advantage of his power and position in any situation.
"Sure," I said, a little too brightly. "I'm willing to try anything to get rid of this terrible crap I've been going through." I rose from my chair, straightening my red T-shirt and getting rid of a little wedgie. Patrick noticed my 'adjustments' and chuckled.
"One thing I hope you never lose, Lily, is the ability to be unashamedly yourself." I realized that he had seen me in the act of "adjusting myself" and blushed.
"Sorry...I get so used to being by myself sometimes that I just do stuff like that by habit." Cheerfully I brushed off my white shorts, picked up my bag, and headed toward the door.
"I guess I will see you next week, then, for the hypnosis session?"
"Well, I thought you might want to try it today, my dear. Do you think you have time today?" he asked, silently asking me to stay with his gaze as well. Of course, I couldn't say no when a pair of intense piercing eyes was penetrating through to my soul, so I dumbly nodded, my high ponytail bouncing with my head movement. Patrick smiled.
"Good. Well, why don't you have a seat, Lily, and we'll begin. Oh, and by the way, I will be videotaping our sessions so that you can see for yourself what is said and done."
I sat down in the chair facing him and he shook his head. "No...use the couch," he said.
"Oh! I'm sorry, I totally forgot," I said, getting up quickly from my seat and going over to the couch to settle myself. I lay my head back against the comfy soft cushions and watched as he set up the video camera to point towards me. Once he was satisfied with its position, he turned it on and walked over to the couch, pulling the chair over beside it so that he could sit and ask me questions.
"All right, Lily. First we're going to try some relaxation exercises. I want you to close your eyes and count backwards from...let's say 300. I'm sure you've done this to fall asleep when you've been anxious, haven't you?" he asked, smiling down at me. I nodded, and he signaled for me to start counting. I closed my eyes.
"300...299...298...297...296...295..." Hypnogogic images began to spin through my mind, and I vaguely could hear my own voice continuing to count. I began to feel oddly detached from my body...my conscious mind began to shut down, and I felt as I were both asleep and awake. My consciousness faded into a dim world of nothing inside my head, and I was cut off from my physical senses completely.
A loud snap brought me back, and I jumped awake.
"Holy crap," I sputtered out as I calmed down and got used to my senses being alert again.
