"Hello? Earth to Emma!"
Emma zoned back in to the real world, refocusing on her twin sister across from her and their friends seated around the dining hall table. "Where the hell have you been for the past five minutes? We're trying to figure out which show to hit tonight." Rachel, her twin, was staring at her expectantly, waiting for her to cast the deciding vote.
Emma flushed hot; she couldn't tell the table where her mind had been - where it seemed to drift more often than not these days. "I-I wouldn't mind hitting up Jack Rabbit Tim's. We went to Wild West the last two times." Emma hadn't heard which bands were playing, but there were only two venues in town with regular live music. She was relieved to see that Rachel seemed pleased enough with her choice.
"Tim's it is! Kate, we'll pick you up at nine, yeah?" Rachel stood, and the rest of the table gathered their trays and made their way toward the door as if that was their cue.
Emma glanced down at her watch. Almost one? It seemed like they'd just sat down. She must have tuned out worse than she thought. Rachel picked up Emma's bag for her, dropping it on her shoulder atop her own satchel. "You feelin' ok, Em?"
"Yeah. Just...tired." Emma tried to avoid her sister's eyes, but Rachel was like a dog with a bone when she thought something was up with her twin. Older by two minutes, Rachel believed her "baby" sister was her responsibility.
They emerged from the dining hall arm-in-arm and almost ran headlong into Dean and Carter Moore - the only other set of twins on campus. The boys and Rachel laughed, greeting amiably; Emma ducked her head, her cheeks burning with a raging blush. As they passed the boys and speed-walked toward the art building, Rachel's fingers dug into Emma's arm.
"What was that? Did something happen between you and Hot Stuffs one and two?" Rachel asked.
Emma just shook her head. What could she say?
***
Rachel and Emma shared a one-bedroom apartment. There was nothing new about that; they'd shared a room their entire lives. But it did make it difficult for Emma to escape her sister's rabid curiosity that evening when they both got home from classes and work. Emma did her best, setting an in-progress landscape on her easel in one corner and jamming earbuds in her ears, but Rachel was having none of her evasions.
"Are you gonna tell me what was up with you and the Moores, or am I gonna have to ask them?" she asked without preamble. She sat on Emma's desk, a bowl of microwave popcorn in her lap. She stuffed a handful in her mouth and chewed loudly.
"It's nothing, Rach. And anyway, they wouldn't know what you're talking about."
"So tell me why you decided to go red-faced super-creep on them today."
Emma dunked her bamboo brush in her water cup more forcefully than she meant to, splashing water over the desk. Rachel ignored the puddle creeping toward her, watching her sister and waiting for an explanation.
"I can't really explain it," Emma said at last. "I think I may be losing my mind."
Laughing, Rachel said, "I think thatΓ ship has sailed. What, do you have a crush on one of them?" When Emma didn't answer, her twin persisted. "You do, don't you! Which one?"
"Rachel, just leave it."
"I don't get what the big deal is. We've had a standing invitation to go out with them since, like, freshman orientation."
"It's..." Emma sighed. "Please just drop it."
Rachel chunked a piece of popcorn at her sister, where it stuck to her curly hair. "Not until you tell me which of those meatheads you're lusting after."
Emma studiously ignored her, dripping some purple paint on the carpet as she turned back to her watercolor landscape. If her sister knew the dark turn her thoughts had taken, she'd never speak to her again. Better to have Rachel mad at her for keeping secrets and leave it at that.
"It's Dean, isn't it? He's always been the cuter one, even if he is a little shorter. There's something a little freaky about Carter's eyes. I know they're green, too, but sometimes it looks like they don't have any color at all."
Emma made a little choking noise in her throat, and Rachel laughed. "So it's Carter, is it? You like those eyes?"
Refusing to rise to the bait, Emma kept her eyes on her painting. Rachel, seeing that she would get nowhere with her questioning, snatched the watercolor off the easel.
"Hey!" Emma shouted, grabbing for her artwork. "Give that back!"
Rachel clambered up onto the top bunk, waving the painting. "Tell me which one you like! Tell me!"
"Give me the-" Emma cut off her own words as she leaped and bellyflopped onto the upper mattress, reaching for the paper in her sister's hands. Rachel held her at arm's length, the painting hidden behind her. Emma threw herself at her sister, trying to wrestle the painting away without tearing it. They rolled precariously close to the edge as they struggled.
"Stop, stop!" Rachel said as Emma started to pull her hair. She'd always been a wimp about her sensitive scalp. "I willΓ giveΓ it back, if you will justΓ tellΓ me! Which one do you like?"
"Both of them!" Emma shouted at last. "I want them both, ok?"
Rachel stopped struggling, cocking her head to the side the way she did when she was puzzled. "You mean, you can't decide, or...?"
Blushing furiously again, Emma abandoned her quest to retrieve the painting and slid off the bunk. She rolled onto her own bed underneath it, turning so she could press her hot face against the cool wall. To her chagrin, Rachel followed, sitting down beside her on the lower bunk.
"Wait, clarify this for me. You want them?"
Emma pulled her pillow over her head. How could she possibly put into words the fantasies she'd been having? Her sister would never understand this bizarre desire to have Carter holding her in his arms, Dean pressed up behind her, their warm skin-
"Like, at the same time, Emma?" There was something odd about Rachel's tone. It didn't hold the condemnation Emma had expected from her sister. In fact, she sounded almost... excited. Emma rolled over, noting with confusion the mischievous glitter in her twin's eyes.
"Look, can you just leave me to wallow in my own sick mind?"