Today I write with a kind of sadness that I never really experienced before. When I got the phone call, I could hardly believe the news. Doug was gone.
I've changed all the names in this true story because I don't want to embarrass anyone, but Doug was largely responsible for my sexual education and I had been meaning in the last few weeks to call him and catch up. But now, he's dead of a heart attack and it just seems so cruel.
Me, I'm 22 and I met Doug and his wife Leslie a few years ago when I was 18. For the record, I'm a slender blonde who's always been told she's a hottie, blah, blah, blah. Whatever. I've never had any problem attracting guys. Even now, it seems, every day some joker is trying out some line or some approach with me. I've got a boyfriend who I'm really building something special with. He knows that I went to a funeral of an old family friend, but I know in the next couple of days, I'm going to have to tell him about Doug.
Back in my freshman year in college, I made the freshman women's volleyball team. I had been a cheerleader in high school, but other than that, I had done nothing especially athletic. I didn't quite admit it to myself then, but I was aroused by the exhibitionist aspect of playing volleyball. Our uniforms were super tight, and the act of having numbers written on our thighs was a turn-on for me. Plus, we'd do a lot of practicing at the sand pit volleyball nets on the quad outdoors and, in the tradition of beach volleyball, I'd wear a bikini as my uniform. Sometimes even grabbed a bite at a campus café in my bikini. I enjoyed the idea that guys were watching me play.
That year, one such admirer turned out to be a baseball player on a full-ride scholarship., David, easily the yummiest guy I saw on campus. The fact that he was interested in me was something I couldn't quite believe, but before long I found myself the girlfriend of the BMOC.
I really fell hard for David. He was really gorgeous, but didn't really seem to know it. He was soft-spoken and a gentleman too, a real contrast to the baboons that surrounded him all the time.
I was not a virgin at the time. I had lost my virginity the summer before, but it was a really lousy experience. The guy was a real jerk and I spent three nights staying up terrified I was going to get pregnant by this creep.
I confided to my girlfriend Theresa that I wanted to get intimate with David, but I really was freaked out about it. I was not about to go to some doctor behind my mother's back to get birth control pills. And I really didn't want to deal with condoms. But holding out on David was not really an option either. He was not the kind to do without sex. If he didn't get it from me, he was going to get it from some other girl.
Theresa's idea was to go oral. She said a girl with good blowjob skills could make a guy really satisfied without to worry about getting knocked up. But at that time, I was barely adept at kissing, much less anything else.
But Theresa knew a friend who could help. That friend, Shelley, got me in touch with Doug and Leslie who had once worked as sex therapists. Shelley said that they helped her gain confidence sexually without all the embarrassing missteps.
It took me a while to call Doug and Leslie -- how absurd, I thought, that I have to go to this couple who were probably my parents' age to learn the ins and outs of oral sex. But David was getting more and more aggressive, so I had to make the call.
So, I found myself driving up to a nice mountain home with a great view of the valley. I spilled to Doug and Leslie about my problem with David, and they very warmly suggested that they could help me get some experience and some confidence.
Leslie, a really sweet woman and still a knockout even though she's over 40, told me of her experiences with fellatio and asked if I wanted her present when I was "working with" (her words) her husband. I didn't know what to tell her. Being alone with Doug was intimidating and I found her comforting. But, after a while, I told her I couldn't bear to be watched and she got up and left the house without an argument, wishing me good luck in the process.
Doug couldn't have been nicer. He was very kind and very gentle with me. He was a slender man -- 48 when I knew him -- and quite good-looking for an older man. He made us some tea and we talked for over an hour, just about general stuff. He was very clear in telling me that this little sexual encounter we were to have was for my benefit, and that I didn't have to go through anything that made me at all uncomfortable. He told me that if I were not telling the truth about my age, it would be best if I just left right there, but I showed him my ID and he became comfortable with the fact that I was of legal age.
Finally, the moment of truth was at hand. It was up to me to finally say, "Well, we better do this before I change my mind." Doug told me first off that we would not do anything other than oral. My vagina should be reserved for those I loved, he said. Then, he asked if I was more comfortable clothed, partially clothed or naked. It was a warm in his house but it was a chilly day outside and looking out the window, I told him I thought I would keep my clothes on.
Doug disappeared into the back of the house, and I found myself nervous and eager to get up and leave. He came out five minutes later wearing nothing but tight, boxer-length spandex shorts. I thought that I would have to fight the revulsion of seeing an older man's body, but Doug kept himself in great shape. He had a nice hairless chest, and the lower body of a man who spent a lot of time on a bicycle.
He seemed to sense my apprehension and said softly, "Hey, you're the boss here. Remember that. If this is too weird for you, we can just talk about. I can go through it for you verbally. Whatever you feel comfortable with, OK?
My eagerness, however, was chasing away my fears and I told him, "No, I really want to do this. I just want you to tell me what to do to make you feel good, and I'll do it."
He led me over to a spot in front of the fireplace and asked to me to kneel on the soft carpet. I felt open and genuinely horny for the first time all day. He stood before me and I was eye level at his crotch. I was finding it difficult to breathe.
"OK, Kelly," he said. "Here's what we're going to do. We're going to get you used to sucking a cock. You need to just take some time to get used to how if feels in your mouth. It's important to remember that there's no time limit with this kind of thing. Just relax and enjoy it, like a nice meal or something."
I grinned at that one. I remember just the day before telling my roommate that I was a vegetarian. "You mean you don't eat any meat at all?" she said. Then, I said, thinking about my appointment with Doug, "Well, no, except for tomorrow I'm gonna try some." She had no idea what I was talking about.
"Then," said Doug, breaking me out of my daydream, "we're going to work toward some deep-throating. Don't expect that you'll get it right off the bat. We'll need a few sessions to tame the gag reflex, if you want to go that route. I'm also going to ejaculate in your mouth and I want you to get used to the taste of semen and get used to swallowing too. Does that sound OK to you?"
When he mentioned swallowing semen, my stomach jumped like I was on a rollercoaster and I let in a quick breath of air like I had been spooked.
"Are you OK? Didn't mean to scare you there," he said. "We don't have to do the swallowing bit, if you're uncomfortable with it."
I found myself getting a bit hoarse, but I said, "No, no, that's fine. I really want to do it."
Doug's matter-of-factness did a number on me. I had never tasted semen and, before that exact moment, I never knew I wanted to. I found myself wishing he would stop talking and get on with it. I could see his hard-on pointing northward in his shorts. I was horny like I'd never been horny before.
I must have said something, though I can't remember what. He reached down and touched my cheek and, looking me in the eyes, said warmly, "Don't worry. It's going to be all right. You're going to have a lot of fun, not just with me, but with David too."
I wanted to say, "Yeah, whatever. Let's get this party started."
"OK. First thing. If you can help it, you should be the one to take off his shorts, not him. What you want to do is use both hands, reach up to the waistband of his underwear and just slowly peel off those shorts."
I did just as instructed. My stomach jumped again when I caught first glimpse of Doug's penis at the base. I pulled further and it sprung free from its confines. It was the most magnificent erection I had ever seen, a good 9 or 10 inches from base to tip.
I wanted to get to sucking, but again more instruction from my well-hung teacher. "This is important. For the duration of the blowjob, you have to realize that this penis is yours. It belongs to you. You are the boss of it. If you take pleasure in it, if you treat it like the best lollipop you've ever had in your life, believe me, he'll be in heaven. That's the key. OK, why don't you first just feel it. Take it and rub it lightly across your cheeks, your lips and your face."
I did what I was told, then took the head of the penis into my mouth.
"Excellent," said my teacher. "Remember time is no issue. We have all the time in the world. Don't be shy about anything. Look at the penis. Examine it, if you want. Stroke it, lick it, learn about it. It's a new toy, see what it can do."
I didn't really know what he was talking about, but I was enjoying that cock in my mouth. It was surprisingly warm and silky smooth. I idly wondered if maybe he lotioned himself.
"You're doing great," he said. "It feels really great. Now, another thing, and this separates the good blowjobs from the bad. A blowjob involves the mouth, not the hand. Too many girls get involved in the pumping thing with their hands and that's no good. That just sends the message you want this to get over with. After you get started, it's a good rule to follow: no hands. You can put your hands on his legs or his buttocks, or caress the balls, or you can play with yourself."
