I'm not going to deny that I've slept around before. By the time I was 19 I'd already slept with at least two dozen women, and at a stretch I'd probably recall the names of about six or seven of those. Mostly I was too drunk to remember their names, but the way I was back then I wasn't interested in even knowing their name. It was all about the sex. The more of it the better and I didn't care if l ever saw them again afterwards.
It makes me sound like a real player I know. But, to be honest, that summed me up just right. I wasn't particularly nice back then. I didn't treat women with respect and I cared only about my pleasure. Sometimes I got a buzz if she had an orgasm, but usually that was only because if she came whilst I was inside her, then her vagina walls would clamp on my cock and no one would deny that's a nice feeling.
But when it came to pleasuring a lady... Ok let's just say it bluntly. When it came to going down on a woman, well I was too selfish to do it properly. I know now how wrong I was, but back then the thought of foreplay was far from my thoughts. I wanted quick, frantic action. I wanted to pump away fast and get my load in her. Sometimes, if she was drunk as well and quickly fell asleep afterwards, I'd get dressed there and then and get out of there. If I didn't have to wait around until morning then I wouldn't.
But with Natalie it was different. When I first saw her I was attracted to her. Her smile was radiant and her eyes were a piercing blue. Usually when I see someone I like I start to imagine what they'd be like naked and I guess how good they'd be in bed and if they'd spit or swallow. My friends say I'm a sex addict and that I see women as objects of my desire. Yeah, they're probably right. And I never liked this about myself, it made me feel like a dirty, sleazy guy.
With Natalie, even though she was undeniably beautiful there was something inside me that wanted to maintain her dignity in my mind. Maybe this was a sign that I was growing up at last, or maybe I knew that if I played my cards right then I'd see her naked in real life soon enough. Hell, I was always a confident guy, and it used to drive my older brother mad in the past. He'd bring home a new girlfriend and yet if I made it known I liked her too, within an hour she'd be giving me the eyes and if that happened it meant only one thing. Within a week she'd bin off my brother and we'd be shacked up in bed together.
The funny thing is, is that I'm not even a great looking guy. Good looking - well yes. But I'm no Brad Pitt. But the fact is that I own who I am. I've got a right big nose, but you know what, I love it. All of my imperfections I embrace because I just don't care what people think of me. So with that I guess I exude a natural confidence. If I walk in to a room I don't even have to look to make sure. I know that a good half a dozen women have clocked me. And I would bet good money that of those, at least two or three of them would sleep with me that night if I put my charm on them.
How can I know this? Well, let's just say that one time I walked in to a bar and within a half an hour I was walking right back out if it with a woman on either arm and a third hooked on my back, her legs around my waist. It was my first foursome and it blew my mind.
Looking at Natalie though, I don't know how to say this, but I kind of felt ashamed of my wild past. There she was, looking all innocent as she was sat reading a book on the park bench, and I was sure she'd be truly horrified if she knew how little respect I'd given to women in the past.
I approached her confidently but was unnerved when she didn't look up and was in two minds whether to walk quickly away. That wasn't my style though, so when I reached the bench I coughed and she instantly flashed her eyes from her book and directly into mine.
"Hey, is anyone sitting there?" I asked, smiling and running my hand through my thick brown hair.
