It was the first weekend back at University after the Christmas break. The new semester had begun mid-week, so there really wasn't much studying yet and the week had a bit of frosh week feel. There were welcome back events going most of the week and on the Friday me and some friends went to a dance hosted by one of the student dorms.
The dance was held at the campus cafeteria and for the most part it was a pretty lame event. There was hardly anyone there when we arrived and it never got much better. Being university aged guys, the key mission on any given night was to try to meet girls and this event didn't seem to offer much promise.
There was one girl there that knew I could pick up, but it wouldn't have been a good idea. We had hooked up a few times the previous semester and it was clear that we didn't have the same understanding on what those hook-ups meant. Her name was Lisa, and while she was fun I just wasn't interested in a steady relationship, or at least not one with her. When my cock called the shots, I was particularly charmed by her willingness to sleep with me, but her growing tendency to see our pairings as a budding relationship was a problem.
I tried sending her the same signals that girls often effectively sent to me when they weren't interested. I tried not returning calls and I tried to ditch her whenever she managed to track me down. I guess there's one critical element of their dissuasion that I kept leaving out: Every so often I still slept with her.
When she started introducing me as her boyfriend though, I realized that I'd have to do something more drastic to end things. I'd never dumped anyone before, but over the holidays I'd come to the conclusion that I'd have to let her know that we were breaking up. I felt bad about having to it, but I was also a little annoyed to be put in this position by a girl who I never really considered my girlfriend.
Eventually she came over to join me and my friends at the dance. She was friendly as always, but I tried to give her a cool reception which went completely unnoticed. In exclusionary tones I talked about how my friends and I were probably going to leave and go somewhere else.
Undiscouraged, she'd responded with inclusive remarks like, "Where are we going to go?" and "When are we leaving?"
Not wanting to deal with an evening ending break up on a night out, I figured I'd just bide my time. In the meantime I took Lisa's arrival as my cue to head downstairs and use the washroom as at least a short term escape.
As I headed down the lower hallway towards the washrooms, I noticed a cute girl that I didn't recognize heading back the other way.
After a few drinks I can be a little bold and I held out my hand as she was about to pass and said, "Hi! Sorry, but I just wanted to say hello."
"Hi," she said back with a slight hint of misgivings.
Without much more thought I said, "You're just so cute I had to stop and say hi."
While my approach was hardy original or clever, like so much in life, rewards don't go looking for the most deserving. She did stop to talk and for the most part I continued with my complimentary assault. Though at first she seemed a little wary of my routine, I felt a promising seed had been planted. One question in my mind was whether or not she would be staying around at this dance. Since my friends and I were thinking of leaving I was wondering if it was time to reevaluate our plans.
"Are you going to be sticking around here very long?" I asked.
"I think so," she replied. "I'm actually just here visiting, but as far as I know this is it for the night."
We'd actually spent a fair amount a time talking and eventually realizing I didn't want her to feel trapped by the washrooms with me I said, "Maybe I should let you get back upstairs to your friends."
"I think you're probably right," she agreed.
"Hopefully we'll bump into each other again upstairs and talk a bit more."
"Sure, that sounds good," she agreed.
"By the way, what's your name?"
"Tori," she said, smiling back as she walked away.
I did see her upstairs, but we never really got around to talking up there. We didn't speak again until I bumped into her on another trip to the washroom. By this time I was a little drunker and ready to be even more forward. I invited her to leave with me and go back to my place.
"Sorry, I can't," she said.
Undeterred, I painted a suggestive picture designed to show her how much I wanted her and how much she would enjoy the night.
She was firm though, tonight would be impossible. Then she added, "There's a party tomorrow that I'm going to. I just can't tonight, but if you want to meet up at the party, maybe then we could see about making plans."
"That sounds great, but I still want you tonight too," I said.
"I just can't tonight, but I'll be at a party tomorrow. It's on Emerson."
"Emerson!" I said. "My friends on Emerson are having a party tomorrow too. I bet we're going to the same place."
"What's your fiend's name?" she asked.
"Pete," I told her.
"He's one of my brother's roommates," she said. "That's why I can't go with you tonight. I don't want my brother to know. I'm staying at his place tonight, but since so many people might be crashing there tomorrow, I'll be staying with a couple of his friends."
"So you must be Dan's little sister. Hmmm, if you don't want him to know, don't you think he'll find out if you don't actually stay with his friends?" I pondered.
"Don't worry, I think it will alright. I think they know you, I'm supposed to be staying with Annie and Steph and they said they would cover for me."
.
I knew them both and I was wondering what sort of plan Tori had been making with them. "Interesting," I commented. Then with a smile I asked, "Do they know what you might be up to instead?"
"They might have an idea," she commented with a smile of her own.
"Uh-oh!" I said with trepidation.
"Don't worry, they didn't say anything bad and now I know your name too."
"Really!" I said with surprise. "What did they say?"
"I can't tell you that," she teased.
I pressed for more information, but Tori wouldn't say anymore.
After I got back upstairs my friends and I left for the school bar. Other than being tracked down by the girl I'd been 'seeing' there wasn't much more to the night.
The next night at the party Tori looked great. She looked even better than the night before, but I might have been influence by the knowledge of what we'd be doing later. Despite our plans though, we didn't really spend all that much time together at the party. We'd bump into each other intermittently over the night, briefly talk and flirt about our plans for later, but not much more. It was all part of what was our growing secret.
I did manage to learn that Tori just started CEGEP back in Montreal. CEGEP is a junior college system unique to the Province of Quebec that follows high school. Under this system, high school in Quebec finishes at least a year earlier than most other jurisdictions, which meant that Tori could have been as young as seventeen. At first Tori wouldn't tell me her age either, but I finally got it out of her that she had just turned eighteen the month before. While what makes for a significant age difference in love seems to expand with age, in my early twenties a four years would have seemed a huge gap. Of course when it comes to lust, acceptable age differences are much more elastic at all stages of life.
Meanwhile, the girl that I'd been seeing was also at the party and I knew that I'd have to deal with her if I was going to take Tori back to my place.
The moment came when she introduced me once again as her boyfriend. It was the catalyst I needed to ask her outside for a definitive talk.
I used all the clichés that sounded so empty when I'd heard them directed towards me: 'It's not you, it's me.'; 'I just like you more as a friend.'; and 'I just don't think we're looking for the same thing.'
With the deed finally done, I was looking forward to release from the stress of having to execute a breakup. The only problem was that the more the night wore on, the guiltier I felt. I was feeling more and more like a shit for dumping a nice, though somewhat clueless girl, so I could secretly screw a friend's little sister.
This wouldn't be the first time I did something shitty to Dan either. Once my friend Pete and I were back at their place having a few beers after the bar closed, when Dan and few others came back to the house too. One of the people with Dan was a girl I'd been with before who just happened to be one of the best fucks I'd ever had. No sooner had she sat beside me, than we were talking about going back to my place.
It turned out Dan considered her to be his girlfriend and he was pretty upset. When she and I were back at my place, she told me that not only had she and Dan never been together, but she didn't even realize that he was interested in her.
In retrospect, I'd say Dan had an even more expansive view of what constituted a relationship than the girl that I had just dumped. Still it became a point of friction that took some time to smooth over.
I'm generally a pretty happy drunk, but between the guilt of dumping the girl I'd been seeing and the trepidation of upsetting Dan if he found out I'd despoiled his little sister, I began feeling a little morose about my plans.
I was out back having a cigarette and a bit of an internal debate with myself when Tori found me and wrapped her arms around me.
"So when do you want to go?" she asked.
By then my guilt had built and to the surprise of us both I said, "Tori, I don't think I can do it."
"What?" she asked incredulously.
