Author's note
I've deliberately kept this one short as it's a slow burn and doesn't contain a huge amount of actual sexual activity. The story is written through the eyes of a journalist who is following an 18-year-old girl as she prepares to undergo the village blowjob ceremony.
******************************************
In the year of our lord, 1304 a great famine hit the Welsh village of Llanslebog. Not a morsel of food was to be found and once all the cats, dogs and children had been eaten the village faced starvation. Then the lord heard their prayers and said, "Owen, thou shalt be a fountain from which all will drink." Owen was blessed with erotic eruptions that filled the bellies of the faithful and so the village was saved.
Well, that's the story everyone in the village of Llanslebog knows. There are of course sceptics of the official story, and the Vatican refuses to canonise him, but there is some proof. The male line of his family still resides in the village, blessed with well-endowed penises that produce a generously unnaturally large volume of semen. OK, not enough to fill your belly but enough to overfill a shot glass if the locals are to be believed.
Scientists say it's just a genetic abnormality, but the village isn't taking any chances. That's why on the first Sunday after their daughters turn 18 they whip them straight over to the village square after church to be blessed with a mouthful. Every girl in the village has undergone the ritual for over 700 years and now it's the daughter of the Page family's turn and this is her story.
I must confess I was sceptical of the ritual when I first heard of it. I had travelled through Wales on many a summer holiday and never even heard of Llanslebog. Perhaps with so many villages beginning with "Llan" I could be forgiven as an Englishman for it not standing out. Llanslebog lies far from the major trunk roads and holiday destinations. Few go out of their way to visit the place.
I first became aware of Llanslebog and its ritual last year after a chance meeting in a Gwynedd pub with a colourful, if intoxicated, local character. Naturally, I thought he was pulling my leg but I couldn't resist the long drive down winding B-roads to visit the place myself.
I found an unremarkable village, a couple of shops, the obligatory church and a single pub. As a journalist, I felt I had to put at least a little effort into substantiating the rumour and so called into the church hoping for answers. Thereupon a small stained glass window, I saw it, Owen and his fountainous phallus feeding the faithful. The vicar was kind enough to fill me in on the details, to my amazement everything was true. I asked him if any families would be willing to be interviewed and after several months he put me in touch with the Page family.
Their daughter was fast approaching 18, I was invited to spend time with them upon her 18th birthday until the ritual 4 days later. After a four-hour drive to the village Satnav forgot, I was welcomed into their cottage. Like the village, the family appeared unremarkable, the father Dewi, the mother Beca, and two daughters Bethan 20 and Ella 18 looked like any other decent British family found in any street.
Morning birthday events had long passed, it was now late afternoon and after a meal of lamb shank and tatws popty, the two daughters prepared for a night out celebrating with friends giving me time to interview their parents. I opened up by asking what the myth of Owen's penis meant to the village.
"I wouldn't be calling it a myth around here," replied Dewi, "People can be a bit sensitive about outsiders looking down on our beliefs. Is it any different to Christ feeding thousands with two fishes?"
I acknowledged I had made a mistake and pressed on with how they got around the sexual nature of the story when it came to the younger generation.
"It's tricky," replied the mother, "The story is important to the village but we still have a responsibility to shield the younguns from the sex act. Are you familiar with the biblical story of Mosses?" I nodded I learnt it as a child.
"As a child did they teach you Mosses ordered his followers slaughter 3000 of their friends, brothers and neighbours in Exodus 32?
I admitted that was the first I heard of it and she continued, "It's the same here, we omit the more adult parts to protect the young."
The father added, "They do a yearly school play but Owen shoots tea from his magic finger instead."
"I'm a little teapot,
Short and stout,
Here is my handle
Here is my spout
When I get all steamed up,
Hear me shout,
Tip me over and pour me out!"
"Not as innocent as you think, Is it?" asked the mother.
It was clear that for the family and the village, the story had great significance but I was interested as to why they felt the need to send their daughters off to perform fellatio in public.
"No one wants to break a 700-year-old tradition," replied Mr Page, "No girl wants to spend her life known as the one who never kneeled."
I couldn't envision taking my own daughter to orally pleasure a man in a public square let alone watching the act. But it wasn't my place to judge, I was curious however as to how they broke the news.
"We don't have to," explained the mother, "When they get old enough for sex education at school the subject crops up in class. Teens aren't dumb, they soon pick up on what goes on."
I was relieved that no one was actually forced or anything illegal was going on. The villagers had struck a careful balance between protecting the young and respecting religious beliefs. However, regardless of tradition, it was still a very intimate act and I was keen to learn about how they felt about it beyond just complying with local customs.
"Some new families leave the village soon after arrival when they learn," explained Mrs Page, "You got to feel the need in your blood. Of course we're all a bit nervous, parents and daughters, but we're not embarrassed or ashamed."
Mr Page added, "It's all done very respectfully, no jeering or lewd comments and definitely no sticking stuff on social media. First sign of a mobile phone and you'll quickly be dealt with. There's great admiration among the men for what these ladies do."
With such a shared ritual I was eager to learn how Mrs Page's experience was affecting her now it was her daughter's turn. Surely it must bring back memories.
"It's a mix of pride and apprehension. Remember your first experience of the ritual is when you're the star. It's a bit like playing Juliet when you've never seen Romeo and Juliet, you've got nothing to judge it against. It's not until you see other girls later that you think, hey I did OK."
I remembered that they had an elder daughter, Bethan 20 and wondered how Mr. Page felt at the time.
He sighed for a moment before answering, "I was probably more nervous than she was. Girls tend to bond with their mothers as time approaches and we get our noses shoved out. But when the time comes every father is at his daughter's side proudly looking on."
We bedded down before the girls returned from their night out. I was given the guest room next door to Bethan's room and as I typed up a draft report of the day's unfoldings I became aware of her return. The walls were thin and it soon became clear why her room was so far from her younger sisters. Bethan had brought a young gentleman home and was vigorously entertaining him. As I unwillingly listened to the creaking bed and moans, I became thankful I couldn't understand a word of Welsh.
Breakfast the next morning consisted of a traditional full Welsh, it was similar to the more familiar full English but with the addition of cockles and lavercakes that the mother lovingly made each morning. It was over breakfast that I met the young man who had kept me awake half the night.
What particularly surprised me was how comfortable the parents were with it all, with even the father commenting on how it sounded like they had a good time. I was beginning to think they were more relaxed around sex than they were letting on. Dishes cleared and lover left, I took the opportunity to talk to Bethan about her experiences of the ritual.
"I was really worried about what to wear. My birthday is in November and the weather can be a bit rough. There's a small shelter there but you worry if it rains no one will turn up and watch. Thank god the rain kept off."
I should have been surprised to hear her concerns about the lack of witnesses but after last night's talk with her parents, I wasn't. I was interested in how she felt her parents had supported her at the time.