The Hymen Theory

One month.

Chris nodded absent-mindedly as he pretended to understand what Imogen was talking about the entire time their having dinner. He tried focusing, really did, but thoughts of a certain brunette with hymen issues kept on insinuating inside his head. And the unanswered question of why in the hell did a whole month pass without Sam ever mentioning their agreement?

Did she change her mind? Or did she find someone else to break her hymen? Chris scowled at the thought. No fuckin' way! They made an agreement, no one but him will do the deed. If Samantha Elizabeth Morris approached either Tim, Brian or Rudy behind his back all hell will break loose. And three men will be unemployed by tomorrow morning.

"Hey, you look absolutely angry just now. Are you okay?"

Or did Sam get back together with Stuart? Fuck! That sonofabitch-

"Hello, earth to Chris. Come in Chris..."

Snapping to attention, he forced a smile at Imogen who minutes before they walked inside this restaurant gave him a masterful blowjob in the car. Imogen, his supermodel girlfriend who bragged on a man's magazine how fantastic their sex life was and called him an energizer bunny for his tremendous staying power. Chris gritted his teeth behind the fake smile. So how in the hell could Sam choose Stuart over him? "Sorry. My mind wandered a little."

"Am I boring you?"

He shook his head. "That will never happen."

"I know," Imogen agreed then smiled seductively at him, "You love my mouth so much."

An almost smile appeared in Chris' face hearing the naughty comment. How many men would kill to be in his shoes right now, dating a gorgeous supermodel that has an extremely talented mouth? His friends had been envious as hell. Imogen was a hot topic in every single poker night he attended ever since they hooked up. Even Sam would gush about Imogen...

"Oh look who just came in with a date! Sam!"

Sam?

"I thought you said she broke up with that man?" Imogen wondered aloud, still looking at the restaurant's entrance in avid interest.

Whipping his head around to see, Chris was met by a vision of Sam and Stuart walking with a waiter towards the table a few feet away from theirs. "She did."

"Well, from the looks of it, they must have gotten back together," his girlfriend said with a small laugh, "The funny looking man cannot take his eyes off Sam. I cannot blame him though, she looks great! This is the first time I see your roommate wear a dress that short."

Too short, Chris decided frowning at the expanse of well-shaped legs shown to perfection by the black off-the-shoulder dress Sam was wearing. Not only did it enhance her long-legged frame, the dress also managed to show off Sam's perfect complexion. And oh yeah, all her curves that won't quit were displayed too. "Mona must have been the one to pick it for her. Sam would never buy a dress like that. She had a long-standing commitment to jeans and t-shirts."

"Kudos to this Mona person then," Imogen cheerfully replied, "if not for her, I would never know Sam had that size breasts. I always thought she was flat-chested."

The dress did mold the aforementioned twins in full glory. Chris narrowed his eyes in disgust. Way to seduce a moron ex-boyfriend, he thought sarcastically, show off your 36-C tits. The sonofabitch looked like he cannot wait for dinner to end....

"Hey, Sam just smiled at us. She finally saw us."

Chris deliberately turned his back and faced Imogen. "Want to leave?"

"We still haven't eaten dessert yet." Pause. "And you just snubbed Sam."

"I did not snub anybody."

"Yes, you did. She was smiling at us and I was waving at her while you turned your back and did not acknowledge her at all. Sam actually looked surprise. What's up with you?"

"Nothing," he said with a shrug, "She would want an uninterrupted date. So I'm backing off."

Imogen did not look convince at all but tactfully let his explanation slide. The subject could have ended smoothly if not for Sam materializing behind him a few seconds later demanding why.

"Hey jerk, did you not see me over there?" the brunette inquired sitting unceremoniously at the available chair beside him then turned to wink at Imogen, "Hi gorgeous."

"Hi Sam, you looked gorgeous yourself tonight."

"I attended a writer's shindig a couple of hours ago which required me to dress up. Problem was I totally forgot about it and had to borrow one of Mona's. Then it must have been my lucky day because lo and behold when I arrived at the party I discovered that my cheater ex was a friend of a colleague of mine," Sam rolled her eyes, "On top of that my ride, Mona, disappeared to God knows where and this colleague of mine who I will never, ever see again much else consider a colleague after this mishap decided to play cupid and almost physically forced me to accept a ride home care of cheater ex. So I had no choice but to accept. Forget politeness though, cheater ex just insisted to have dinner together and bringing me here was the last straw. I am leaving. That is if you could give me a ride. Or just accompany me until I am safely inside a taxi." She discreetly glanced at the table she left to supposedly say hi to Chris and sighed in relief to see Stuart holding the menu and talking to the waiter.

Imogen was about to reply when her cell phone rang. She answered the phone, leaving Sam and Chris a few minutes to themselves.

"Try saying no for a change."

Sam reached for Chris' glass of left-over wine and took a sip. "I did. He just won't listen."

"Make him," he snapped.

"My, my, my.... Is it the time of the month again? Bare you're teeth a little then howl to complete the effect," Sam suggested, totally unfazed by his show of temper.

Across the table Imogen chuckled and shook her head at them while Chris, in spite of his present mood, could not stop a genuine smile from coming out of his face. He glanced to see Stuart staring at their table then turned to face Sam. "Lover boy's finished with the menu and now eating you up with his eyes."

"Ick."

He grinned. "That was not even a word."

"But it thoroughly described my feelings so...ick."

Imogen put back the phone inside her purse then turned to look apologetically at Chris. "That was Edward, my agent. I had to go meet him and some client at his office to discuss some changes in my contract. The client will leave for Paris afterwards so it had to be done. I'm sorry to bail out on you like this."

"It's okay, I understand. Breakfast tomorrow still on right?"

"Of course," the model confirmed then stood up, "I'll take a cab if you don't mind. I am really in a hurry. And oh, before I forget..." a loud slap in his right cheek caught Chris by surprise while Sam's jaw dropped in shock. People nearby gave them a curious look, Stuart included.

In a loud and clear enough voice for cheater ex to hear, Imogen said. "How could you two do this to me? I trusted you both! You do not deserve any tears at all! Fine, be together! I hope you will have a nice life!" Then left them with head held high like a queen.

Roommates exchanged dumbfounded looks then Sam automatically burst into "guilty" tears to continue the charade. "Take me home Chris. I felt so bad hurting Imogen." Sniff. Sniff.

Not trusting himself to talk, Chris escorted a tearful (and sniffing) Sam outside the restaurant, passing a confused Stuart along the way. When they were safely inside his car they both burst out laughing.

"Oh my God, I love Imogen! She's brilliant!" Sam exclaimed giggling, "And your face when she slapped you, classic!"

Chris chuckled. "I must hand it to you though; I never thought you could cry automatically. And such ugly crying face too."

Sam bowed her head, still smiling. "Thanks. I'm a natural am I?"

"Stuart looked really confused back there. Like he did not know what hit him or something."

Repetitive knocking on the tinted car window of the driver's side made Sam swallow whatever answer she was going to say. "Oh my god, Stuart."

Chris sighed then turned to look at her. "We better give him proof that we are indeed lovers. Come here."

"What do you mean?"

"I am you're chosen hymen breaker, stop giving me suspicious looks. Come here."

"Why?"

"Sam....."

"Answer me first. Why?"

Sigh. "You have an insistent ex knocking on the car's window of the man he believed to be your new boyfriend. We could have left immediately but we're still here. So the only plausible reason was because we're making out. So COME HERE." Pulling Sam closer to him, Chris leaned down to give her a kiss. Sam looked completely horrified and turned her head the last minute so the kiss landed on her left cheek instead. "Why did you do that?" he hissed glaring at her.

"I...I'm nervous," Sam admitted swallowing hard, "I...umm...I don't know how to kiss."

DUH. "Just relax Sam. All you have to do is to relax your mouth and let me in."

Nervous blinking. "Y-you mean you're going to... to...French kiss me? But... but...."

Chris quickly swooped down and touch her lips with his while Sam was still busy with her buts. The original plan was just soft, butterfly kisses. A couple of licks and flicks here and there just to leave a mark for appearances sake. A mild taste of Sam so to speak.

Easier said than done though.

Firstly, Sam had the softest lips. The kind that would drive anyone crazy enough to want more than skin touching skin. The kind that invites soft, gentle bites. And the right amount of suction pressure. So he did. Licked Sam's full lower lip once. Twice. Thrice. The upper lip received the same attention then he laved the outer line of her lips with his tongue before sucking the lower lip fully.

Secondly, Sam had the most enthusiastic tongue. For someone scared to French kiss, her tongue acted the opposite. It was everywhere. Flicking on his lips, touching his own tongue tentatively at first but became bolder in no time. She even blatantly invited him to deepen the kiss by opening her mouth wider and offering the goodies inside. In no time they were sucking at each other's tongue and licking at each other's mouths like there's no tomorrow. And she's doing that like a pro too. They were swallowing each other's saliva like it's from one and the same source. Hot.

Thirdly, Sam was loud. It should have turned him off but it did the opposite. He got so aroused hearing her moans and groans that anyone within hearing distance could easily mistake them to be fucking like rabbits instead of kissing. A great fuck at that. And he was not helping either. His moans and groans could shatter glass truth be told. If kissing Sam would be this wonderful, then what on earth will it be like doing the whole deed with her? One thing is sure, there is no way in hell he'll wait for another month to break Sam's hymen after this. No fucking way. Chris gently leaned back and smiled a little at the still-dazed brunette he just kissed senseless minutes ago. Mussed hair, lips red and swollen, and blushing cheeks...perfect. He opened the window and scowled at Stuart whose eyes went straight to the woman beside him. "What do you want?"

Seeing Sam looked like she was thoroughly devoured, Stuart swallowed audibly, blinked then leave without any comment whatsoever. Satisfied, Chris closed the window again and turned to see her looking at him. Unsmilingly. He cleared his throat. Uh-oh. "Sam-."

"Wow," Sam gushed in awe, "French kissing is quite messy but.... really nice. More than nice actually....heavenly. Yes, heavenly."

He merely watched her, relieved that Sam did not end up hating him. Or worst, resorted to describing him as ICK.

Sam sat up then smiled at Chris before fastening her seatbelt. "Let's go home. I am terribly sleepy."

Sleepy. Chris shook his head slightly as he started the engine. He got hard as a pole because of that kiss, aroused out of his mind. And good old Sam got sleepy. Great. So fucking great.