Part 1: I acted without thinking, and found out I'm a freak.
Part 2: I gave in to the urges, and put myself in position to be seen masturbating.
Part 3: I jacked off on my sleeping friends before putting on a public show for a passing trucker.
This is Part 4: This is the final chapter of The Hunger is Born series of discovery, but just the beginning of my story.
My recent preoccupation with masturbating for truckers was turning into an obsession. Every night saw me posting up someplace where I could pull my cock out and stroke for an 18-wheeled audience. I was living it up on my summer break from college.
During the day, I drove around always scouting potential new places with lots of truck traffic. A service road here. A parking lot with a freeway view there.
I wanted to be seen. I craved it. But, I didn't want to be caught. That's why truckers were my "targets". They couldn't easily follow or catch up to me in my car.
More than that though, I've always heard about how horny truckers are out on the road. I'd heard the stories about lot lizards basically fucking and sucking truckers, and those stories lit my fire.
The attraction for me isn't that they are truckers. It's more that they are transient strangers. Here for the moment and then gone. I imagine them to view sex as either transactional, anonymous, or both. Pleasure as a release without any of the hang-ups or complications.
While I certainly have plenty of hang-ups, stroking my cock for passing truckers gave me some of those feeling of anonymity and made me feel free. I knew what I was doing was extreme, and even more so when I was seen performing.
When I first started down the road of public exposure, my breathing was ragged and my knees would shake. My entire body would tremble. After a bit, I found myself pushing my limitations more and more. I would pull closer to the road. I would get out of the car earlier. I would get completely naked. I even did it in full daylight a few times.
I thought about what it would mean to get caught. Not by the police mind you. I never quite managed or cared to think about that outcome. I wondered about getting caught by one of my viewers. Would they try to fight me? Yell and scream at me? Or perhaps something else.
I would drive around thinking about what I would do if one stopped and I couldn't get the car started, couldn't escape. Why would they stop? To watch? Maybe. To participate? Maybe. In fact, I hoped that would be the case.
I remember daydreaming about a trucker stopping me. He would ask me what the fuck I was doing. He would hurl some insults. As I cowered, I would notice a growing bulge in his pants. He would see me looking at his crotch and show me why he stopped.
In my mind, he would always have me suck his dick. For a fit, straight, masculine guy of 20, this was the ultimate humiliation. Scenario after scenario ran through my head of the tables turning and being forced to suck stranger cock.
I had never consciously considered giving head before. It had just never crossed my mind before my masturbation escapades began. But once I thought about it, I couldn't stop. I mean, I had been pushing the envelope farther and farther showing off for truckers. Being forced to actually give head was what I had feared the most. Now, it was becoming something I actually wanted to do. I wanted to expand my experiences. I wanted to push my boundaries.
So there it was. I decided right then and there (even if I didn't realize it at the time) that I wanted to feel a dick in my mouth.
Now remember, this when the internet was in its infancy. Cell phones weren't a thing yet. All I knew was that I wanted to give a blowjob, or at least start putting myself in situations where it could potentially happen, and I sure as Hell didn't want anybody I knew finding out.
I didn't know what to do about it. I wasn't old enough for a bar. There weren't any gay bars in my town, but you don't have to be gay to get your dick sucked. There was an adult book store about 10 miles outside of town. Maybe I could find what I was looking for there.
This particular adult book store is a chain store. It's well lit, clean, and has a large but well lit parking lot. I decided to check it out late one night.
I parked in the nearly empty parking lot and made my way inside. They checked my ID at the door, and welcomed me in. I walked around the place trying to take in everything. I walked the perimeter of the store checking for booths or theaters I had heard about. This wasn't one of those places apparently.
Nevertheless, I began to feel my dick start to wake up. I looked around at the 3 customers, an older couple and a solo guy while I looked at the magazine titles. I saw a magazine called Gay Trucker Classifieds, grabbed one, and made my way to the counter.
The couple was already there checking out. I eyeballed the solo guy, but got no response. The checkout girl greeted me and rang me out with absolutely zero judgment. When I was leaving I noticed a big sign on the door reminding customers that the parking lot was under video surveillance 24/7.