Everyone's over 18
I once had a student who, in response to an exam question, wrote that Australopithecus invented stripping. I had the Genus mixed into a list of Homo sapiens progenitors and was looking for those students who saw that it didn't belong on the list. Obviously Francine hadn't picked up on that fact so she, in a gesture of academic frustration, tried to throw me a curve.
To my dismay she wasn't the only student in my class who seemed to miss the faulty inclusion of this hominid on the list but she was the only one to try to inject humor into her answer and I wasn't buying it. There were fourteen questions on the exam which dealt with our earliest forefathers and in a pique of indignation I didn't bother to read the rest of her answers and flunked her on all fourteen. Since they represented 28% of the fifty exam questions she'd be sure to fail her first exam of the school year.
Around 3 AM I began to feel guilty about flunking Francine when she was just one of nine in the class who failed to get that particular question right. Truth be told I'd failed her on her test for her sense of humor and now that I'd calmed down I realized that she should have been commended rather than penalized for that.
So I rose and went into the den and printed the word
Provisional
above the 'F' I'd given her and went back to bed.
The next day I was actually looking forward to my third period Anthropology class. I'd get the opportunity to embarrass over a third of the class over their inadequate performance and, like a cat with a cornered mouse, I'd get to confront Miss Francine Butler about her sense of humor.
I sat on the front edge of my desk holding the sheaf of exam papers as the students filed in. I could see that several of them were anxious to find out their results but were afraid to ask.
I began after the room became quiet. I scanned the room as I began, "There are twenty five students in this class and nine of you missed the same question on Thursday's test."
I again scanned their faces before I looked down and shook my head continuing, "The disappointing part of it is that I'm fairly certain that if I asked you a few leading questions the correct answer would pop into your heads." I handed back their papers.
"Okay then, questions nine through twenty-three dealt with the list of homidae at the top of the page. Question eleven asks what makes the inclusion of Australopithecus noteworthy. Miss Butler, would you read your answer to that question?"
In the space of three seconds her expression went from panic through embarrassment and straight on to defiance. She read, "Australopithecus is prominent on this list because they were the most probable inventors of the strip tease." She returned to her seat amidst a smattering of chuckles.
I asked, "Mr. Kent, you seemed amused by Miss Butler's answer. Why was that?"
Ross Kent was one of the token jocks in my class. I had no idea why he'd signed up for it.
From his extreme slouch he said, "Because it was stupid."
"Why do you think it was stupid?
Someone
had to invent the strip tease. Why not them?"
"Ross shook his head. "Have you looked at their pictures in the text, Mr. Cash?
I can't imagine anyone sporting any wood looking at them much less wanting to tip them!"
I could only shake my head. I asked, "Can anyone in the class
Not
Mr. Shank
answer what the necessary ingredient for the earliest strippers would be?"
April Lee tentatively raised her hand. "Clothes? I mean, she had to have something to take off, right?"
I enthusiastically pointed at her. "Give that girl a cookie! Yes Miss Lee, you're exactly right! A stripper without clothes is simply a nudist!
Now, can anyone in the class
Not
Mr. Shank
tell me the most commonly used method for guestimating the earliest use of clothing?"
The seconds ticked by. "
Come on people.
I know we didn't cover this in class but it was in Chapter fourteen and if you read it I doubt that you'd
ever
forget it!"
After more extended silence I sighed and finally pointed at Pat Shank. "Mr. Shank?"
"Lice. A hundred and seven thousand years ago the earliest differentiation between head and body lice was found and body lice are only found in clothing. There
is
a school of thought however which uses six hundred and fifty thousand years as a best guess."
"Thank you Mr. Shank. Now can anyone else tell me when Australopithecus was pounding our global pavements?"
Another student opined, "Four million years ago?"
I was having fun, "
Yes!
They first appeared around then and when did they disappear?"
Betty Carlisle was normally the quietist student I had. "Around two million years ago?"
"I love you Miss Carlisle! Yes; they failed as a species and disappeared around then."
I turned back to Francine. "Miss Butler I only
provisionally
flunked you on this question. You have until Monday at three thirty to defend your thesis."
Her face adopted a blank stare. "What?"