So for my first story I wanted to share about my sexual awakening with my lover.
Ryan was someone I had known my whole life. We had been best friends for most of our lives. It was at a time when acceptance for gay people was something that was just starting to happen but even in areas where it was more acceptable it was still something you had to be careful with. I had a crush on him since junior high but it wouldn't be until college that I would ever tell him about it. We were both true millennials, we graduated right in the year 2000. And when we shared an apartment during our college years, that was when everything happened.
When we were in our Freshman year of college Ryan came out to a select few people he trusted, including me, and that was when I wondered if I had a chance at becoming his lover. I had been wrestling with the matter myself and didn't yet have the courage to come out. I still had some baggage to work through, fighting with myself over whether I should feel this way and it would be a little time more until I had the courage to come out as well.
Sharing an apartment with him was great. When we weren't preoccupied with work and college classes it was like one big hangout. We had a PS2 with our television. No cable, so that was the only real at home entertainment. And getting to live with Ryan was fun. He was a treat for the eyes. He had a lot of freckles which I rather liked and he had short red hair. He was tall and athletic. I loved to see him in swimming trunks and he typically wore pajama pants to bed. We made a weird pair considering I looked every bit like the classic geek with my glasses and skinny physique. As friends we were brought together through love of video games and Magic: The Gathering, one of my baseball playing friend's geek secrets.
Before we officially became lovers I had one "covert" way of being intimate with him. I had a thing for tickling and we were used to roughhousing and still hadn't outgrown it when we were 18 (and still haven't really outgrown it now :D), so sometimes when I wanted to touch or be touched I would tickle him or wrestle with him. But I'm airquoting the covert bit because the truth was that he had figured out both my thing for tickling and my love for him before I had the courage to confess either of them. I wasn't nearly as subtle as I thought I was being.
When I finally did put it all on the table and tell him how I felt it was a massive weight off of my shoulders and learning that my affection was not unrequited was amazing. At first I was horribly embarrassed when he laughed and mentioned that he knew my feelings early on. I was a bit embarrassed about being a tickle lover but he wasn't put off by it at all and I suspect he got quite a bit of fun out of pouncing on me. He was stronger than I was so if I started a tickle fight I typically wound up at the losing end, laughing until I could barely breathe.
After my confession we became extremely close. The very first time we made love was unforgettable. I kept thinking this had to be a dream and I was going to wake up. When I first saw Ryan in the nude that was a big "ohhhhhh boy" moment. I hadn't ever had any real exposure to porn. I'm not claiming a chaste mind, it's just our computer access was through public terminals and internet in the year 2000 wasn't what it is now anyway. Seeing him naked for the first time was one of the most exciting moments of my life and it was only going to get better from there.
Neither of us were exactly experienced love makers. We sat together on the bed, enthralled with each other's bodies, but kind of hesitating on what exactly to do next. I was getting a big erection and so was he and I was a bit captivated in just watching it grow. I timidly asked if I could touch it and he was okay with that. When I gripped his shaft he gasped and I pulled back, afraid I had hurt him. He quickly assured me I hadn't.