It was wrong. Very wrong. I knew it. I tried to resist it. I tried to walk away, look away, turn my thoughts away... anything away. No luck. The magnetic force was too great. The gravitational pull was more than I had bargained for.
This was the tipping point, although I was just-this-side of realizing that. I had secretly danced this dance too many times. I had privately fueled the flames of this fantasy too often. The fire had been burning for a long time. Like the fool I was, I believed I had it contained, even as I was becoming consumed by it.
Forbidden or not, it was an appetite I could not deny. True, I had kept it hidden. Not a clue for anyone to pick up on. My own self-denial was convincing enough that I could almost shock myself at my own craving, even though it seemed to be ever-present.
I pretended to be unfettered from any illicit desires for her. I pretended to be ambivalent when those "within the privacy of my own home" views of her danced before my eyes. Sometimes in a tee and shorts just before bedtime or perhaps walking from the bathroom to her bedroom after a shower, veiled in just a two-tiered level of towels, one wrapped around her luscious body and the other delicately twisted like a turban on her head.
It was nearly a daily ritual. See the temptation, but pretend it was no temptation at all. It just made things simpler, at least outwardly. At least with the wife.
Yet, there I stood. Unmoved. Riveted. Wavering not even an inch. I should have bailed like a batter avoiding a bean ball. I should have flinched like a fighter dodging a left jab. I should have ducked the moment like a celebrity searching the backdoor to avoid the crush of the paparazzi.
But, there I stood. Aroused. Throbbing. Growing an erection inch by inch. Like a man mere feet from the drop of dangerous falls just ahead, yet reaching over the edge of the canoe and scooping a refreshing drink of water from the threatening current. A rogue deckhand ignoring the pleas of Odysseus as I fell under the trance of the sirens.
Correction,
siren.