The Crazy Cat Lady

Note: All characters are assumed to be of legal age.

"I'm telling you man, all we have to do is take her a couple bottles of tea and she'll do us."

"No, that's nuts. No woman is gonna' bang two guys just for some tea."

"Really, dude, I am not shittin' you. This is straight from two seniors who graduated last year. They were porking this old girl for years. She's like crazy or something and her house is full of cats, but all you have to do is take her something and she'll fuck you or blow you, whatever you want."

"That just doesn't sound like it's real."

"It IS real, I'm telling you. Come with me and we'll find out."

"You ARE 18 years old aren't you? You must be 18 years old before you can have sex.

"Yes I am 18 years old and I have never desired sex because I was less than 18 years old. And I know that you are more than 18 years old because you desire sex."

"That is correct, I am more than 18 years old so I can have sex."

My friend Mike was always coming up with some scheme or other. Usually it was somebody's cousin or the 'friend of a friend' who was selling a car for fifty dollars. Or it was somebody selling gaming systems cheap, or it was somebody showing dirty movies in his basement, but there always seemed to be something going on that Mike wanted to get me involved with. Usually these overblown ideas ended in something between failure and disaster. Over the years I had learned that my friend Mike's schemes were 50% bullshit, 50% exaggeration, with an extra 10% of just plain lies. But he was my buddy. We had grown up together and now we were in the same grade in school. For all of his faults, he was a likeable guy whose energy was contagious and whose laughter usually swept me up into his goofy ideas.

This time he had caught me at one of my most vulnerable points. I was desperately tired of being a virgin and willing to explore almost any avenue to be relieved of that burden. Mike and I were considered 'nerds' and largely outsiders to most of our classmates. That accounted for the 'that's why we like each other, nobody else wants us' connection between Mike and me.

"Where does she live?"

"Over on Renaldo Street."

"That's a really bad neighborhood, is it safe to go over there?"

"Sure it is. Hey we're just a couple of stupid dudes, we got nothing that anybody wants. Besides, we can outrun any of the bad guys from over there."

"Oh man, I don't know..."

"Look, let's go over there and we'll see what happens. Right after school today, how about it?

"Okay, I guess, but if you get us killed or something, I'm not your friend anymore."

Suddenly Mike was all smiles, "Well all right!" He paused, "Hey, you got any money?"

"I knew it, here we go again. Every time you get an idea, it costs me money."

"So, do you have any or not?"

"I got maybe six bucks, that's all I have."

Mike was smiling again, "That's enough bro', we's gonna' get LAID!"

****

I spent the rest of the school day wondering what kind of stupid shit Mike had gotten us into. But, at the same time, if I could leave my virginity behind, it would be well worth it. When the final bell rang, I threw my books into my locker and joined the crowd leaving the building. Once outside, I moved off to the side and waited for Mike. As usual, he was almost the last to come through the door.

"Dude, do you always have to be last?"

He smiled at me, "What's your problem dude, you in a hurry to get some pussy?" He grabbed my arm and shook me.

"Come on man, I just want to get on with this. I'm thinking that you're full of crap and this woman doesn't exist."

"Just stick with me, I'll show you." We started walking until Mike stopped at a small family market where he picked up a couple of two liter bottles of sweetened tea. "This is gonna' cost about five bucks, do you have five bucks?"

I dug into my pocket and found a five, two ones, and some coins. "Yea, I have it." We paid for the tea and carried it out in a plastic bag.

We walked for about twenty-five minutes into a section of town that I was unfamiliar with. The farther we walked, the more I knew that I had no business there. Lots of snarling dogs that ran toward us and were stopped only by flimsy wire fences. Lots of graffiti, some of which appeared to be gang related. Junk cars sitting on blocks in the yards of houses that looked worse than the cars. Abandoned houses with windows broken out and doors kicked in.

"Mike, this looks like someplace we should get shots and have passports to enter. Are you sure this is the place?"

"Yes, this is Renaldo Street, you see the sign?" He pointed to a street sign that hung precariously from a badly bent pole. "She's just down here, not far." We walked until Mike stopped in front of a run-down house with peeling paint and a front porch where one side had collapsed. "This is it, go knock on the door."

"I'm not knocking on the door, this is your deal, you go knock."

Mike puffed up, attempting to hide his fear. "Okay, I'll knock, but I go first."

"Fine, you can go first."

I followed Mike up the steps onto the rickety porch to the front door where he knocked on the door. We stood there waiting when the door opened and a woman appeared. She was a frightening sight, wrapped in a dirty bathrobe and her hair wildly unkempt. She looked to be about fifty, stood about five-feet six, and she must have weighed at least two hundred pounds.

"What do you want?"

Mike sputtered before managing to speak. "Hi, I'm Mike, this is Louis, we hear that you like young men."

She looked us over like she was selecting a cantaloupe from the grocery display. "I like young men just fine. If you two meet any, send 'em over." She turned to go inside.

"Wait, we brought these for you." Mike held out the plastic bag. She stopped and turned back, taking the bag from Mike and looking inside.

"I like this tea, thanks for bringing it." After another look at us she opened the door. "Well, since you're here, you might as well come in."

I followed Mike through the door and immediately the smell hit me. The house reeked of cats, cat urine, and dust. "I'm Lucy, what did you say your names were?"

"I'm Mike, he's Louis."

"Well Mike and Louis, come in and sit down. You want some tea?"

We followed her to an old kitchen table with beat up chairs. "No thanks, you go ahead." Mike and I sat on one side and she sat on the other. A cat rubbed against our feet while another climbed across the sink drainboard.

She took a dirty glass from the pile of dishes in the sink and rinsed it out before filling it with tea and putting the two bottles into the ancient refrigerator. She took a long drink. "I like this stuff. Used to brew my own until the damn stove broke."

We sat there aghast at our surroundings while trying hard not to look around. The silence was becoming overwhelming. I was hoping desperately that Mike would make an excuse and we could get out of there.

"You boys like titties? I been told I have some nice titties."

We sat there like two deer on the interstate watching those lights get closer. Neither of us answered.

"You want to see 'em?"

Mike looked at me then turned to her, "Yea, sure."

She opened her robe to reveal a dirty, tattered night gown. She reached up to slide one side off of her shoulder, then she pushed down the other side. She sat there topless revealing a large pair of breasts that hung almost to her belly. "How about those, you like 'em?"

I found myself with a lump in my stomach but, at the same time, oddly aroused. There they were, the first real pair of woman titties I had ever seen. Everything else around me was repulsive yet before me were, to me, absolutely beautiful breasts.

"Well do you like 'em or not?"

"Oh yea...they're really nice."

"Do you want to touch 'em?"

Mike mumbled, "Yea", while I finally managed, "Yes, I'd like that."

"Then come over here. Let's have one of you on one side and one on the other. I like having my titties rubbed so do a good job."

Mike moved to one side of her and I moved to the other. As soon as I got close, the scent of body odor and the sour smell of her hair hit me.

Several cats moved around under the table and rubbed against our feet. I did not know if I could do this or not. I looked over at Mike and he appeared to be happily fondling and squeezing her abundant breast, so I resigned myself to doing the same. Once my hand hit her soft, fleshy mound, all of the offensive smell seemed to go away. Instead I now found myself enjoying the sensation of massaging a real breast.

"That feels nice boys, keep going."

I was glad that she was enjoying us, because I surely was. I was also getting a significant boner that pushed hard against the front of my pants. When I looked over at Mike, he too had a bulge at the front of his pants. That was when Lucy's hand came up to rub the front of Mike's pants.

"Nice hard-on, looks like my titties are working for you." Then she turned to me and did the same. The pressure of her hand rubbing sent a shock wave through me. "Damn, two nice hard-ons, how lucky can a girl get?" She continued to rub us while we fondled and squeezed her. "Take 'em out, let me see 'em." We both stood there like robots, not knowing what to do. "Come on, take 'em out. I can't do anything with your cocks while they're in your pants."

Once I saw Mike reach for his belt, I did the same. It really began to feel weird once he pulled down his underwear and his cock sprang free. Although it felt strange, I pushed my underwear down also.

"Look at this, I just love hard, young cocks, standing there so tall and proud." She wrapped one of her hands around each of our cocks and began to stroke us slowly. I simply froze in place, the sensation of her hand gripping and stroking me carried me away to a place of pure pleasure. She paused long enough to take a drink of tea, then she continued. "You want me to suck you off?"

We both looked startled. That was why we came here but having it actually happen, somehow, that was something different. Finally Mike spoke up.

"Sure if you don't mind."

"I don't mind. I been sucking cocks since I was sixteen years old, it's nothing new to me."

"It is to us." Mike looked embarrassed the moment he said it.

"What do you mean, are you two virgins or something?" Neither of us answered. She broke out in a wide smile that showed the gap where one of her side teeth had been. "Oh my God, I've got a couple of cherry virgins here, well damn me. Looks like I'm gonna' hafta' fuck both of you. Who wants to go first?"

Mike answered her, "I do, I want to go first."

She took his hand and guided him into the living room where she chased several cats off of a threadbare old couch that was covered with cat hair. I followed along, taking time to notice the accumulations of personal belongings and dust covered furniture. Almost every flat surface had a cat sitting on it. When she got to the couch, she took off her robe and sat down before sliding to the end, lying down, and hiking up her nightgown. "Come on boy, take your shit off and let's get to it. Pussy don't get no fresher than this."

Given her personal hygiene, I could not imagine that her statement was true. Mike peeled off his clothes and crawled in between her legs. As I watched, she squeezed Mike's cock a few times before it disappeared into her. His head popped up and he looked back at me. "Damn this is good stuff."

Mike rutted steadily as Lucy began to moan. I felt 'unnecessary' as I stood there watching their bodies squirming and listening to their cries. It was not long until he began to make louder and louder noises. Finally his head raised up while his body stiffened and shook. He looked back at me and smiled, "Next!", as he climbed off of Lucy. As he walked past me carrying his clothes, he was singing, "I'm not a virgin...not a virgin anymore...no more virgin..."

Lucy looked at me and smiled, "Your turn baby, come give mama some dick."

A sudden chill went down my spine. I was overtaken by fear and nervousness. Can I do this? Can I even get hard? I stood frozen in place even as she beckoned to me. Then it dawned on me. Do you want to be a virgin forever? Everyone has a first time. I walked to the couch and sat down while I removed my clothes. Lucy smiled at me as her hand massaged my cock.

"Come on baby, you have to get this hard." Actually her hand was working quite well and I was getting hard rapidly. Once I was up, Lucy lay back again and opened her legs wide. "The pussy is here for you."

I gathered up my courage and crawled over to her. Her odor had not improved any but I was determined to do the deed. Positioning myself over her generous body, I felt her hand hold my cock as I slowly pushed ahead. At first there was slight dampness but that was quickly followed by warmth, wetness, and pressure that surrounded and held me tightly. My mouth fell open in awe.

"There you are baby, your dick is deep in mama's pussy."

Despite all of my nervousness, apprehension, and hygiene concerns, it was the most amazing feeling I had ever experienced. My cock was buried in a warm, wet, enveloping paradise where I could have easily spent the remainder of my life. As I began to thrust, Lucy's hips pushed back to meet mine. When I looked up at her she smiled and whispered to me, "How is it baby, does it feel good?"

All I could do was gasp, "Oh God yes, it feels so good!"

"I love young cocks, they're so hard and feel so good. Work it with me baby, work it." Her hips began to roll and to squeeze my cock with her pelvic bones.

I was completely enraptured. At some point a cat jumped up onto the arm of the couch, meowing and staring at me as I drove into Lucy. All too soon I began to feel that tightening sensation that told me I was going to cum. Although I fought it as best I could, my resistance crumbled and my body stiffened, thrusting deep into her and spraying what felt like the biggest cum I had ever enjoyed.

As my senses began to return, my instinct was to bend down and kiss her until her body odor changed my mind. I pulled back and my limp cock plopped out of her. "Thank you Lucy, that was wonderful."

Lucy quipped, "Come back again when you can stay longer." That was no doubt a jab at how quickly I came. Picking up my clothes, I was surprised to see Mike standing there still naked.

"Can I go again."

Lucy smiled, "You want some more do you?"

"Yes please."

"Well then hop aboard. Let's get you up again."

Mike was sitting on the couch while Lucy rubbed his cock. "You boys are gonna' fill me up with your cum today." She looked over at me, "Hey, what's your name again?"

"Louis."

"You gonna' do me again?"

Oh crap! I don't know if I can get it up again that fast. Mike did it, maybe I can too. "Yes, I'd like to."

"Make yourself comfortable. As soon as he's done, we'll do it again."

Feeling exposed, I pulled on my underwear just as Mike plunged in for his 'round two'. With my clothes under my arm, I walked back to the kitchen and piled my clothes on the kitchen table before picking up a chair and returning to the living room. The metal and vinyl of the chair felt cold against my thighs. By now Mike was driving hard into Lucy who seemed pleased by his efforts. Something brushed my leg and I looked down to see a cat rubbing against me. As I looked around I counted four more cats just in this room. Occasionally a cat would walk by the couch and look up, drawn by the noise, but then simply look away and walk on.

They separated briefly while Lucy turned over onto her hands and knees. Mike quickly scooted into position and thrust into her as Lucy let out a cry. Then they were off and running again, the grunting and the moans continuing. What should have been an exciting and erotic scene to watch soon became a mundane lesson in 'meat mechanics' that held my interest less and less. It was actually a relief when Mike finally stiffened and growled when he again released into her. He soon deflated and turned to sit on the couch.

"Wow, that was better than the first time."

Lucy twisted around and sat next to him, "Yea, and it lasted longer too."

As Mike walked past me he offered, "Go get it Lou, tear that pussy up."

I walked toward Lucy, this time less apprehensive than the last, and hoping for a more extended experience. I pulled off my underwear and sat next to her. Her hand stroked my cock.

She smiled at me and began a seductive tone, "So...Louis, do you like my pussy? Huh? You like it?"

"Yea Lucy, it's the best I've ever had."

"But it's the only you've ever had...right?"

"Yea, that is right."

"When I first saw you two at my door, I thought maybe the Mormons were back. Then when the other one..."

"Mike"

"Yea, Mike. When he first spoke to me I thought you both might turn and run. That has happened before. Are you glad now that you didn't?"

"Yes, very." I found it difficult to concentrate with her hand rubbing my cock. By then I was completely hard.

"As you might think, dogs are not welcome here, but there is one doggy that I like just fine." She turned toward the end of the couch, chased a cat off of the arm, and got up on her hands and knees. "Woof...woof...you need a written invitation?"

"Nope, not me." I crawled up behind her and easily buried my hard cock into her. This time there was not so much wetness inside of her as there was slimy and a bit sticky. I felt like I was churning a wealth of creamy deposits into something resembling a foamy milk shake. But, short of lining her pussy with barbed wire, there was nothing that could stop me from another round with Lucy. Soon she was moaning and pushing her hips back to me as I kept up steady thrusting. With most of the nervousness set aside, I was able to concentrate upon the feel of her pussy and the sounds that she made. Lucy seemed to be genuinely enjoying my cock sliding inside of her and the harder I thrust, the louder she moaned. A couple of times I had to brush back cats that wanted to walk along the back of the couch, but this actually helped to distract me from cumming too soon. I drove along, fighting the urge to cum for as long as I could. I do not know how long I did last, but it was a lot longer than my first time. When finally I could resist no longer, I shot another mass of my semen into that which, by now, must be resembling a cream filled donut. I sat back on my feet and my softening cock fell from her.

"Well that was a lot better than last time."

"Was it?...Really?...Thank you Lucy."

"You keep coming back and I'll make a man of you."

"Yes, I'd like that. I pulled up my underwear and started for the kitchen, returning the kitchen chair to its place. Lucy was not far behind, coming into the kitchen and walking to the sink where she picked up a towel.

"Damn, I have cum running down my legs, so much that it feels like I'm bleeding. You two are like a couple of cum machines." She reached under her nightgown to wipe her thighs and between her legs. I wished that I could 'unsee' that.

Mike was already dressed and I could tell that he was anxious to leave. I dressed as quickly as I could. When I stood up, Mike spoke to Lucy.

"Hey Ms. Lucy, we have to go. This has been really nice."

"Can I get a hug? Maybe a kiss?"

Oh my God I don't want to do that! I watched as Mike approached and hugged her before a quick kiss on the lips. When my turn came, I took a deep breath and held it as I embraced and then kissed her. I was quick to step back and exhale.

"So...come see me again."

"Oh we will...bye Ms. Lucy." We were quickly out the door and on our way home.

"How do you feel now that you're not a virgin? Do you feel different?"

"Not different, but maybe more relaxed now that it's done."

"You want to come back here?"

"I will if you will."