The clerical error which led to a cardinal sin.
The new Bishop arrived and was taking over from the old Bishop who had been transferred to a much larger city. As he was leaving, he shook hands with the new Bishop and said his final words, "Find yourself a good housekeeper. It will help to make your stay here more enjoyable."
The new Bishop dwelled on the words and asked his assistant to explain what the old Bishop had meant. The assistant reluctantly explained that the old Bishop Paul had a housekeeper that he had taken with him to his new Bishopric. "I am not sure but I have a very strong suspicion that she was his mistress. He never actually told me in so many words, but I'm almost positive that he was having sex with her. I think what he was trying to tell you was that it was a good idea to try and find a housekeeper who would be your mistress at the same time."
"I find it hard to believe that he actually did that but if that was his advice, I should listen. Maybe it is a good idea? What do you think?"
"I don't know. I really don't know. I have no experience of such things."
"I have never been with a woman. I don't know where to start. Do you have any suggestions?"
"Well, there is a woman who is a widow, Rosa, who comes into the church a lot and helps with a lot of things. Perhaps you could talk to her."
The assistant introduced Rosa to the Bishop saying that the Bishop wanted some advice and perhaps she could help. After some brief formalities the Bishop said, "What I'm about to talk to about is totally confidential. You must never mention a word to anybody. I will deny that this conversation ever took place. Is it clear?"
Rosa could not imagine what he was going to talk about. "Of course."
The Bishop repeated in detail the conversation with his assistant and simply said, "What is your advice? What do you think?"
"The first thing I have to say is that if you are asking whether I want to be the housekeeper, the answer is no. I'm happy to be a helper but I don't want to work anymore. I know that you are a man of the cloth and have never had sex, or at least I think you haven't, so the first thing to know is whether you are interested in sex."
"You're right. I never thought of that. How would I know? I wouldn't find out until I went to try, would I?"
There was silence as Rosa thought about it for a moment and said, "I would like to help you in what you're about to do, but you must never tell anybody. I will deny it under oath. Is that clear?"
The Bishop wondered what she was going to do that would elicit such a response. "Of course."
Rosa was in her early 60s and had a reasonably good figure considering that she had had three children and took good care of herself. She stood up and removed her cardigan and then her blouse and her brassiere revealing two sagging breasts with prominent nipples. She released her skirt and let it fall to the ground and then pulled her panties down. She did this while facing the Bishop whose eyes were literally popping out of his head at what he had never seen before in his whole life and had never even imagined.
"Why are you doing this? I never suggested this. What are you doing? How will this help to answer my question?"
"There is no point in me giving you any advice, if you do not react positively to the sight of a woman's body. There is only one simple way to find out. I show you mine and see whether you have a normal male reaction?"
The Bishop was stunned by what had happened and stood transfixed, as if he had seen the Holy Ghost. His brain had gone into overdrive and was seemingly powerless to resist what she did next. Rosa removed his surplice and then garment after garment until he was standing naked with only his shoes and socks on. Rosa looked at his penis to see if there was any reaction but there was none. His penis was hanging in shock. Rosa was really keen to see another penis since her husband had died. She knew that he needed to have an erection if he was going to have a mistress. Her hand reached out and took it gently between her fingers. She was well experienced in these matters and her thumb and forefinger did what they had done many times before with her husband before he died. He had long ago lost the ability to get an erection without manual stimulation and she enjoyed watching to see how the Bishop would react. Nerve pathways that had lain dormant for decades were suddenly being reactivated and the blood slowly pumped into his penis making it longer and stiffer. Rosa kept playing with it because she enjoyed it and she was also enjoying the look on the Bishop's face as he looked down at the results of her simulation. He had not had one of these for decades. The Rosa did not need to know any more and stopped.
"It works. It is very nice and hard and I'm sure you will be able to please the housekeeper. Be sure to be gentle with her. You can get dressed now."
They both turned away from each other and got dressed feeling slightly sheepish and embarrassed at the same time.
"Why did you do that? I didn't ask you to do that. You could have asked my permission."
"I knew if I asked for your permission you would say no, but I knew it was absolutely necessary to find out if you would respond to a woman. That's really what you wanted to know, isn't it?"
"I'm not sure what I wanted to know. I just wanted your advice."
"Well now I can give you my advice. If you enjoyed that and you think you would like to enjoy the company of a woman, then go ahead. I can help you as best I can. All you have to do is ask. It really comes down to whether you enjoyed me touching you or not. Yes or no."
"Yes it did feel good. It could be a good idea. What do I do next?"
"You have to find a housekeeper somewhere who will keep a vow of silence and never reveal what is happening. That's the first thing. You might find one in the local convent. I know the mother Superior and some of the nuns and I could ask very discreetly on your behalf. What do you think?"
"Go and talk to her. You have my blessing. Let me know how you go."
Later Rosa would reflect on what happened with much embarrassment. She couldn't believe that she had done it but rationalised that it was a spur of the moment decision based on a crazy idea that had flashed through her mind. She wanted to prove to herself that she was still sexy enough to turn on a man and here was the opportunity and she wanted to feel a man's penis and see if you could make it hard. She had often excused other people's behaviour as being opportunistic - if they could be excused, so could she. That night the memory of the first erection she had touched for a few years kept her awake for quite a long while until she sought relief with her vibrator.
Rosa went to the local convent and spoke to the Mother Superior. They'd known each other for a long time and Rosa swore her to silence. Rosa asked if she knew of a nun who was past menopause and who might like to be the housekeeper for the Bishop, with benefits. Mother Superior thought she knew of one nun who might fill the bill. Sister Linda was an intelligent woman who had become a nun straight after school, basically because her family had always offered one girl to be a nun. Sister Linda had often spoken to the mother Superior about her lustful thoughts and the mother Superior had managed to keep her within the convent. She was a good woman and a valuable worker and liked by everybody and she wanted to keep her.
Rosa asked the mother Superior whether she thought that Linda would enjoy or participate in the benefits side of the job. The mother Superior had no idea. You could only try. She had suggested another nun to the last Bishop and that had apparently worked out. Perhaps this one would. She called for Sister Linda and introduced her to Rosa and explained that there was a job going as the Bishop's housekeeper if she was interested. Linda was worried that she might not be satisfactory but when Rosa saw her, and saw that she had a reasonable figure and a nice smile and a good personality, she encouraged her to try. She said she would help her if necessary. It was agreed that Linda would be introduced to the Bishop and that Rosa would be there.
As it turned out, Linda was a brilliant choice. She had been playing with herself for years before she became a novice but had never been out with a man. She sneaked her vibrator into the convent when she became a novice but never told anybody. She wasn't the only nun with a vibrator, but it was known all over the convent that she used more batteries than anybody else. She didn't know it, but everybody else did, so it was no surprise that the mother Superior thought she would be a natural for the job. Her talents didn't stop there. She had the most lustful thoughts and had spoken about them with the Mother Superior who was quite embarrassed. The one thing that Linda regretted was that she had never been with a man but now that she was much older, she had given up hope. She was in a convent and even if she left she doubted that she had the social skills to find a man, so it was with great satisfaction that she received the offer.
The Bishop was understandably nervous that he was about to be introduced to the new housekeeper with the idea that she become his mistress. He had no idea how he would introduce the idea or convince her to accept the job. He was used to people obeying his orders, not to trying to convince them to do things that they had been trained not to do.
Linda and Rosa walked together into the room with the Bishop and immediately he cast his eyes over her, he felt the stirrings of attraction. Rosa introduced Linda to the Bishop and tried to explain in vague terms what her job would entail. Linda and the Bishop sparred with words for quite a while without actually ever saying out loud what they meant. Finally Rosa said, "I think you and Linda will get on very well together. The only real unknown is whether Linda is willing to embrace all her responsibilities for the job. I think we know by now what they are. I think before we go on, Linda has just one hurdle to jump. We have to find out whether she will be a willing participant with the Bishop in the bedroom. Does that sound right?"