The clerical error which led to a cardinal sin.
The new Bishop arrived and was taking over from the old Bishop who had been transferred to a much larger city. As he was leaving, he shook hands with the new Bishop and said his final words, "Find yourself a good housekeeper. It will help to make your stay here more enjoyable."
The new Bishop dwelled on the words and asked his assistant to explain what the old Bishop had meant. The assistant reluctantly explained that the old Bishop Paul had a housekeeper that he had taken with him to his new Bishopric. "I am not sure but I have a very strong suspicion that she was his mistress. He never actually told me in so many words, but I'm almost positive that he was having sex with her. I think what he was trying to tell you was that it was a good idea to try and find a housekeeper who would be your mistress at the same time."
"I find it hard to believe that he actually did that but if that was his advice, I should listen. Maybe it is a good idea? What do you think?"
"I don't know. I really don't know. I have no experience of such things."
"I have never been with a woman. I don't know where to start. Do you have any suggestions?"
"Well, there is a woman who is a widow, Rosa, who comes into the church a lot and helps with a lot of things. Perhaps you could talk to her."
The assistant introduced Rosa to the Bishop saying that the Bishop wanted some advice and perhaps she could help. After some brief formalities the Bishop said, "What I'm about to talk to about is totally confidential. You must never mention a word to anybody. I will deny that this conversation ever took place. Is it clear?"
Rosa could not imagine what he was going to talk about. "Of course."
The Bishop repeated in detail the conversation with his assistant and simply said, "What is your advice? What do you think?"
"The first thing I have to say is that if you are asking whether I want to be the housekeeper, the answer is no. I'm happy to be a helper but I don't want to work anymore. I know that you are a man of the cloth and have never had sex, or at least I think you haven't, so the first thing to know is whether you are interested in sex."
"You're right. I never thought of that. How would I know? I wouldn't find out until I went to try, would I?"
There was silence as Rosa thought about it for a moment and said, "I would like to help you in what you're about to do, but you must never tell anybody. I will deny it under oath. Is that clear?"
The Bishop wondered what she was going to do that would elicit such a response. "Of course."
Rosa was in her early 60s and had a reasonably good figure considering that she had had three children and took good care of herself. She stood up and removed her cardigan and then her blouse and her brassiere revealing two sagging breasts with prominent nipples. She released her skirt and let it fall to the ground and then pulled her panties down. She did this while facing the Bishop whose eyes were literally popping out of his head at what he had never seen before in his whole life and had never even imagined.
"Why are you doing this? I never suggested this. What are you doing? How will this help to answer my question?"
"There is no point in me giving you any advice, if you do not react positively to the sight of a woman's body. There is only one simple way to find out. I show you mine and see whether you have a normal male reaction?"
The Bishop was stunned by what had happened and stood transfixed, as if he had seen the Holy Ghost. His brain had gone into overdrive and was seemingly powerless to resist what she did next. Rosa removed his surplice and then garment after garment until he was standing naked with only his shoes and socks on. Rosa looked at his penis to see if there was any reaction but there was none. His penis was hanging in shock. Rosa was really keen to see another penis since her husband had died. She knew that he needed to have an erection if he was going to have a mistress. Her hand reached out and took it gently between her fingers. She was well experienced in these matters and her thumb and forefinger did what they had done many times before with her husband before he died. He had long ago lost the ability to get an erection without manual stimulation and she enjoyed watching to see how the Bishop would react. Nerve pathways that had lain dormant for decades were suddenly being reactivated and the blood slowly pumped into his penis making it longer and stiffer. Rosa kept playing with it because she enjoyed it and she was also enjoying the look on the Bishop's face as he looked down at the results of her simulation. He had not had one of these for decades. The Rosa did not need to know any more and stopped.
"It works. It is very nice and hard and I'm sure you will be able to please the housekeeper. Be sure to be gentle with her. You can get dressed now."
They both turned away from each other and got dressed feeling slightly sheepish and embarrassed at the same time.
"Why did you do that? I didn't ask you to do that. You could have asked my permission."
"I knew if I asked for your permission you would say no, but I knew it was absolutely necessary to find out if you would respond to a woman. That's really what you wanted to know, isn't it?"