It was a dark and stormy night. No, it wasn't. I just always wanted to start a story that way. It was in fact another sweltering evening in the Futian district of Shenzhen, China. My friend Kory and I were drinking Corona's like they were about to ban them from this God forsaken country.
We were sitting at an outdoor bar called The Doghouse along with two other people. One of them was an old Chinese dude who was talking to something or someone that we could not see. The other was Marco, our young Russian bartender. Marco was a cool guy. He was wise beyond his age of 23 due to a rather unorthodox upbringing. He told us that his father was Black Irish and his mother was from Vladivostok. He didn't know his father and his mother worked as a whore in Hong Kong. That left him pretty much on his own. Lucky for him, someone in his family tree had brains and he inherited more than his fair share. He was finishing a degree in electrical engineering and paying for it by working here and doing computer repair jobs on the side.
Tonight he had an easy job. All he had to do was keep the Corona's full and fresh in front of us, and laugh as Kory told his stories. Kory was my new business partner and also a wonder of nature. He was 6 foot six and must have weighed at least 280 pounds. He also had a passing resemblance to Denzel Washington. In China, he might as well of been Godzilla. When we visited the small towns where the factories were located, children gathered around him in wonder and awe. Some of the braver ones ran up to him and wiped the skin on his arm with a grimy finger to see if the blackness would come off. Kory would just laugh and shoo them away. Sometimes he would throw a handful of Chinese coins in their direction, which would send them off shrieking in the direction of the clinking sounds. It was a different story with the adults. They kept a wary eye on him except for a few who would point and say in amazement "Obama!"
Kory was one of those people who had seen and done it all, even when he hadn't. He had been raised in Memphis and went to University of Tennessee thanks to a football scholarship. A blown-out knee derailed his athletic career, but the education helped him land a job as a supervisor at a manufacturing plant in Arkansas near his home. When the owners of the plant decided that it was cheaper to buy product from China rather than make it themselves, they asked Kory how he would feel about supervising their sourcing operations in Asia. He told them "fuck, yeah!" and settled in Shenzhen the following week. That was three years ago. Six months ago, the company went out of business. As fate would have it, at the same time I was establishing my consulting business in China. I provide expertise in quality manufacturing to the thousands of factories over here that wouldn't know quality if you hit them over the head with it. Business is good, as they say. Through a friend of a friend, I came to hear about Kory and I offered him a partnership arrangement on the spot. It wasn't his fault that his old company went belly up. If you had an hour or two, Kory would explain to you exactly how and why it happened, but that's a story for another day. Today I want to tell you about the bunny hop.
I guess first I should tell you a little bit about me. I'm just an average American guy with above average intelligence and a personality that seems to make people want to be my friend. Really, I'm just a nice guy. Okay, maybe I bear a passing resemblance to Robert Downey Jr., at least after I have had a drink or two. But seriously, nothing else remarkable.
So now it's just Kory, Marco and me at the bar. The old Chinese dude tottered off, still talking to the ghost of his late great aunt, I guess. Oh, one more thing about Kory. The dude had a voracious appetite for women. I had been over here for nine days and he had a date on seven of those nine evenings. I'm pretty sure that they were all different women. I had seen him in the lobby of the Grand Compass hotel where we were staying with at least four different ladies. They all had three things in common. They were Asian, young and tiny.
Marco was about to bring us another round when Kory held up a giant hand and said "That's enough for me. I have a date." I just rolled my eyes and said "Kory you need to get a life, man. All this socializing is going to kill you." He laughed and said "maybe it's time for you to develop a social life. You been here for over a week and I ain't seen you go out even once. I know you got a lady back in the states but this is China, dude. You need to live a little."
The truth of the matter was that I no longer had a lady back home. Some other guy by the name of Mark had my lady from back home. My lady from back home is named Veronica, and she apparently forgot that I was a near genius and left her phone sitting on the nightstand when she went to sleep one night. Figuring out her password was pretty easy, and I spent the next ten minutes reading her text messages about how she couldn't wait to be riding this guy's big cock and wanting to slurp up every drop of his cum. She actually used the word "slurp." Mark drove a Ferrari, had lots of money and was as ugly as sin. I wished her luck with her slurping, and tried not to laugh as I was saying it.
Kory was right about one thing, I had not gone out once since I had been here. I had watched movies in my room every night until the jet lag took me away. It's not that I hadn't thought about it. Thee ere a lot of women here. Fuck, there were a lot of PEOPLE here. But the girls were remarkable in that they exuded a latent sexuality behind their prim and proper demeanor. Several times I imagined myself undressing one of these alabaster dolls with the eyes so expressive and deep that I could well believe that men just got lost in them. What would it be like when their super cool exterior melted into sexual ecstasy? Yeah...I had thought about it a time or two.
I was about to order one last Corona when Kory grabbed my arm and pulled me off the bar stool. "Let's go." He said. When Kory pulled you anywhere, it was hard to say no. "I'm gonna get you loosened up tonight." He said. He pulled out his cell and punched numbers. One thing about Kory. He never put the phone to his ear. "Ain't gonna get a brain tumor." He told me once. The result was that I always heard his conversations since he always put his phone on "speaker."
After the opening pleasantries, Kory said "Tina, listen. I'm bringing Andrew with me. You think you can get a bunny hop set up for him?" I heard Asian giggling on the other end. "Kory you such a bad boy. Maybe your friend no want bunny hop." And I'm thinking to myself, "Yeah, I think I do!" even though I had no fucking clue what a bunny hop could be. Kory was reading my mind. "Yeah, he does. Set it up please. He's in room 828. Make sure that Rain is in the mix." I looked up. Not a cloud in the sky. I just shook my head. I remember thinking that this was going to be an interesting evening.
We traveled slowly back to the hotel. It was about a twenty minute walk. When we walked in the lobby, Kory again pulled out his phone, but this time he was texting. He responded, waited a moment and then read her apparent response. "Okay, everything is ready." He smiled. "I think that you are going to like this. At least I hope so." He scratched his head in thought. "There will be some ladies in your room. Don't worry, they are friends of mine. Nothing will happen that you don't want to happen. Just remember that they have a very different culture than ours. In their culture, men are always taken care of. It's just their way. Don't argue with them. If you don't want something to happen, just tell them no very firmly. Otherwise follow their lead."
