I am sitting in a coffee bar on Columbus Avenue, drinking tea and reading a book, "Washington Square", by Henry James. My mind isn't really on the book. My mind is on the fact that I will be thirty-years-old in just over a year and that I am still a virgin. This may seem impossible to you, especially in a city like New York, where sometimes it seems like sex is free for the asking. But when you are as chubby as I am and you're endowed more like a little boy than a man, well, you tend not to be too bold when it comes to meeting women. So here I sit, twenty-eight years old, awkward, ashamed, alone.
A beautiful blonde girl comes and sits on the stool next to me. She is wearing a white turtle-neck sweater. Her gorgeous, blonde hair falls down past her shoulders. I'd say she is a little younger than I am, probably in her early twenties. I don't think I have ever seen such a beautiful girl in all my life. I don't dare talk to her, I doubt if she would even acknowledge my presence. Her boyfriend is probably some kind of a jock, or maybe a Wall Street guy with a gym in his house.
I try to sneak a couple of sideways glances at her anyway. She's so lovely, I can't help it. And I get caught. She smiles at me. It's a smile that says, "Don't worry, I won't bite." She asks me about the book that I'm reading. It turns out that she has read it too. We fall into a conversation. We have a lot of common interests. She listens to some of the same classical composers that I do. She likes the same books. We've traveled to some of the same places. I can't believe I'm actually talking to this gorgeous creature. I feel very comfortable with her, very natural. Almost like she's working some kind of a spell.
We talk for what seems like hours, but I'm sure it's only for about thirty minutes. I'm starting to work up the courage to ask her if she'd like to go someplace for dinner. But instead, she asks if I would like to take a walk with her. And of course I say that I would.
We leave the coffee bar. It is starting to get dark. She is leading the way. We walk over to Central Park. We are all alone. She takes my hand. She tells me that she is an angel. From heaven. She tells me that she is here on earth for a very special reason. She is here to make love to virgin men, to bring them into their manhood. Not the cute eighteen-year-olds, guys who will probably lose their virginity soon anyway, but older guys, shy guys like myself who need a little help. She looks me in the eye and whispers to me. She asks if I am ready to become a man.